New to the site! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

punkinpie · 01-22-2005, 07:40 AM

Hello everyone, I was so happy to find this site....I am currently recovering from an alcohol dependancy, and was looking for a site to talk to people in similar situations....this looks like it is just what I needed! I have been sober since Sept. 20, 2004 , and feel like I have everything pretty much under control (most of the time) , except for 2 major things! 1) I seem to have lost all of my so-called "friends" when I stopped drinking. I know I'm probably better off without most of them, (since alot of them drink constantly) but I want to make new ones....who don't have to drink to have a good time...and I don't know exactly how to go about that, so I thought this might be a good place to start! 2) My husband and I have never been further apart than we are now. That is because we both have alcohol problems and both decided to quit in Sept. and he kept his end of the deal for 1 week. Now he's back to drinking on a regular basis....with no respect for my feelings....as far as my sobriety. I know I can't expect him to stop just because I did, but he wanted to...or so he said...now it's as if nothings wrong with it, to him. He doesn't drink every day, only about 2 times a week now....but he makes sure he does those up GOOD! I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite...but I cannot stand to be around people that drink now! It's not that it makes me want to drink, it makes me angry...and besides that, I cannot stand the smell of alcohol. I am affraid my marraige is not going to withstand this....and I would love to hear from anyone who is/has gone through any similar situation, or anyone for that matter, who might have some helpful advice to offer. I appologize for the book...lol...and I hope to hear from someone soon! Have a wonderful day! punkinpie

Dan · 01-22-2005, 07:43 AM

Welcome to SoberRecovery Punkin'!
Glad you're here.

***Time2Surrender*** · 01-22-2005, 07:45 AM

punkinpie,welcome to SoberRecovery.You have definatly come to the right place.Stick around and check the place out.I think you will like it here.Plenty of good people in the same situation as yourself,and a lotta support here.Im glad you found us.

TechGuy · 01-22-2005, 07:48 AM

Welcome to SoberRecovery!!

I can't relate so much to the marriage thing because I am single, but I can relate to losing those so-called "friends". While I do have a couple of sober friends who have been a good support, I'm finding that I have to give up being around those that I drank with. It's kind of funny when you look back on it and realize the only thing you really had in common with them is drinking.

If you haven't been to an AA meeting, you might consider trying one. I know in the meetings I've been to, I've heard very similar stories to yours about how to deal with spouses that still drink. You'd be surprised at the kind of support you can find there.

Also, keep coming around here. There's a ton of good support here.

punkinpie · 01-22-2005, 07:50 AM

Thank you so much! Excuse me if I'm a little slow...still trying to figure out how to navigate! LOL

Dan · 01-22-2005, 07:54 AM

Slow?
I'm just waking up

You'll get the hang of it!

KelKel · 01-22-2005, 07:57 AM

Welcome Aboard punkinpie

Glad you are here and congratulations on getting sober.
You will find alot of folks here who are traveling the same road to recovery, myself included. You are not alone.
Well as far as meeting sober people and making a new group of friends, I have found that going to AA meetings has been my best bet, it is also helps me to stay sober.
I recently went up to Vegas with a friend I met at my noon meeting, we went to a cool cafe for lunch and had a very nice, sober day. I have not hung out with a friend for almost 3 yrs, I was too sick in my addiction and bi-polar stuff.
First i came here and reached out to people and started to come out of my shell, this place truly did save my life... and then months later I finally started attending Face 2 Face meetings... my life is finally getting back to some semblance of normal.
Check out the Friends and Family of addicts Forum, you will find that you are not alone in your feelings about your hubby still drinking and will find some valuable tools for coping with it.
Looking forward to getting to know you....

***Time2Surrender*** · 01-22-2005, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkinpie

Thank you so much! Excuse me if I'm a little slow...still trying to figure out how to navigate! LOL

Im just glad your here.Stick around,you will be navigating all over the site before you know it.They have several different forums here you might wanna check out. Women in Recovery,AA,Alcoholism,Friends and Families (which might be another good place to meet some other women in the same situation as you are in with your husband) Also,congradulations on being sober since September. Michael

punkinpie · 01-22-2005, 08:03 AM

Thanks! Nice to meet you. It is sort of funny about the friend thing....and when I see someone drunk now, I just can't believe that that was once me! I mean...I really acted that dumb? lol....no, I have never been to an AA meeting, I'm not sure if that's for me....but I won't know unless I try it right? But I have read a couple good books that seemed to be very helpful. punkinpie

***Time2Surrender*** · 01-22-2005, 08:05 AM

Give it a try,you never know.You might also want to try some Al-Anon meetings too.

Ama · 01-22-2005, 08:17 AM

Great to see your Thread and posts!!!! Welcome to Sober Recovery - wonderful place that is filled with goodness and hope and sobriety....

Luvs & Recovery Ama

Chy · 01-22-2005, 09:24 AM

Hi and welcome and congrats to you!
I know it's hard when we quit to expect the same from our loved ones. But working on you is important, so stick with it. I know AA worked for me and also know it's not for everyone, you can also find support in Alanon since you "qualify" there as well. Visit our Freinds and Family forum too! Glad you found us!

punkinpie · 01-22-2005, 09:54 AM

I want to thank everyone for the advice so far! I will check out the sites that were suggested. I'm really excited to get to know you all, you sound like some wonderful people. I hope I didn't scare anyone away with my first post...maybe I shouldn't have gone into that much detail but then again how would you get to know me? So thanks evryone! Have a wonderful sober weekend! punkinpie

01-22-2005, 07:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
punkinpie Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 12	New to the site! Hello everyone, I was so happy to find this site....I am currently recovering from an alcohol dependancy, and was looking for a site to talk to people in similar situations....this looks like it is just what I needed! I have been sober since Sept. 20, 2004 , and feel like I have everything pretty much under control (most of the time) , except for 2 major things! 1) I seem to have lost all of my so-called "friends" when I stopped drinking. I know I'm probably better off without most of them, (since alot of them drink constantly) but I want to make new ones....who don't have to drink to have a good time...and I don't know exactly how to go about that, so I thought this might be a good place to start! 2) My husband and I have never been further apart than we are now. That is because we both have alcohol problems and both decided to quit in Sept. and he kept his end of the deal for 1 week. Now he's back to drinking on a regular basis....with no respect for my feelings....as far as my sobriety. I know I can't expect him to stop just because I did, but he wanted to...or so he said...now it's as if nothings wrong with it, to him. He doesn't drink every day, only about 2 times a week now....but he makes sure he does those up GOOD! I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite...but I cannot stand to be around people that drink now! It's not that it makes me want to drink, it makes me angry...and besides that, I cannot stand the smell of alcohol. I am affraid my marraige is not going to withstand this....and I would love to hear from anyone who is/has gone through any similar situation, or anyone for that matter, who might have some helpful advice to offer. I appologize for the book...lol...and I hope to hear from someone soon! Have a wonderful day! punkinpie

01-22-2005, 07:43 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753	Welcome to SoberRecovery Punkin'! Glad you're here.
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753

01-22-2005, 07:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,266	punkinpie,welcome to SoberRecovery.You have definatly come to the right place.Stick around and check the place out.I think you will like it here.Plenty of good people in the same situation as yourself,and a lotta support here.Im glad you found us.
	__________________ I learned the path to Heaven, Is full of sinners an' believers. Learned that happiness on earth, Ain't just for high achievers. I've learned; I come to know, There's life at both ends, Of that red dirt road.

01-22-2005, 07:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
TechGuy Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 26	Welcome to SoberRecovery!! I can't relate so much to the marriage thing because I am single, but I can relate to losing those so-called "friends". While I do have a couple of sober friends who have been a good support, I'm finding that I have to give up being around those that I drank with. It's kind of funny when you look back on it and realize the only thing you really had in common with them is drinking. If you haven't been to an AA meeting, you might consider trying one. I know in the meetings I've been to, I've heard very similar stories to yours about how to deal with spouses that still drink. You'd be surprised at the kind of support you can find there. Also, keep coming around here. There's a ton of good support here.
	__________________ He never broke any man's head but his own, and that was against a post when he was drunk. -William Shakespeare, Henry V, 3. 2

01-22-2005, 07:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753	Slow? I'm just waking up You'll get the hang of it!
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753

01-22-2005, 07:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
punkinpie Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 12	Thank you so much! Excuse me if I'm a little slow...still trying to figure out how to navigate! LOL

01-22-2005, 07:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	Welcome Aboard punkinpie Glad you are here and congratulations on getting sober. You will find alot of folks here who are traveling the same road to recovery, myself included. You are not alone. Well as far as meeting sober people and making a new group of friends, I have found that going to AA meetings has been my best bet, it is also helps me to stay sober. I recently went up to Vegas with a friend I met at my noon meeting, we went to a cool cafe for lunch and had a very nice, sober day. I have not hung out with a friend for almost 3 yrs, I was too sick in my addiction and bi-polar stuff. First i came here and reached out to people and started to come out of my shell, this place truly did save my life... and then months later I finally started attending Face 2 Face meetings... my life is finally getting back to some semblance of normal. Check out the Friends and Family of addicts Forum, you will find that you are not alone in your feelings about your hubby still drinking and will find some valuable tools for coping with it. Looking forward to getting to know you....

01-22-2005, 08:03 AM	#9 (permalink)
punkinpie Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 12	Thanks! Nice to meet you. It is sort of funny about the friend thing....and when I see someone drunk now, I just can't believe that that was once me! I mean...I really acted that dumb? lol....no, I have never been to an AA meeting, I'm not sure if that's for me....but I won't know unless I try it right? But I have read a couple good books that seemed to be very helpful. punkinpie

01-22-2005, 08:05 AM	#10 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,266	Give it a try,you never know.You might also want to try some Al-Anon meetings too.
	__________________ I learned the path to Heaven, Is full of sinners an' believers. Learned that happiness on earth, Ain't just for high achievers. I've learned; I come to know, There's life at both ends, Of that red dirt road.

01-22-2005, 08:17 AM	#11 (permalink)
Ama Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland Posts: 455	Great to see your Thread and posts!!!! Welcome to Sober Recovery - wonderful place that is filled with goodness and hope and sobriety.... Luvs & Recovery Ama

01-22-2005, 09:24 AM	#12 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,890	Hi and welcome and congrats to you! I know it's hard when we quit to expect the same from our loved ones. But working on you is important, so stick with it. I know AA worked for me and also know it's not for everyone, you can also find support in Alanon since you "qualify" there as well. Visit our Freinds and Family forum too! Glad you found us!

01-22-2005, 09:54 AM	#13 (permalink)
punkinpie Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 12	I want to thank everyone for the advice so far! I will check out the sites that were suggested. I'm really excited to get to know you all, you sound like some wonderful people. I hope I didn't scare anyone away with my first post...maybe I shouldn't have gone into that much detail but then again how would you get to know me? So thanks evryone! Have a wonderful sober weekend! punkinpie

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
New to site	jenjoy96	Newcomers to Recovery	15	03-20-2007 01:38 PM
New to site (PLEASE HELP ME) PLEASE	tt9z	Newcomers to Recovery	12	12-27-2006 03:50 AM