Angry and Hurt

[sickk&tired]

Hi all-

I haven't posted in a while, and am glad to see many of you doing well. Those of you who aren't feeling so hot these days, i'm right there with you. I'm still sober (4 and 1/2 months), but lately i've been SO irritable at everyone and everything, for really no good reasons. I'm at my wits end, and dont know where else to vent but here.

It seems that everybody is out to annoy me. My neighbor is way too loud, my wealthy best friend is out to rub in my face that she makes 5X as much money as I do, and my b/f is being a jerk.

Actually that last one is the one thats making me so mad right now. Here's the skinny: I'm currently in nyc for work, he is in georgia for work until February. This weekend we arranged for me to go visit him and spend the weekend together. Well yesterday he got really really sick (some kind of stomach virus) and spent part of the day in the hospital. He's back "home" now, and has been so doped up that he's been sleeping for almost 2 days straight. Well, i'm trying to figure out if I should cancel my trip or not (i have to do it today in order to got get fined) and when I asked him about it today he said he hadn't thought about it. I mean I understand he's sick and on god knows what kinds of medication and I know i sound like a total a$$hole, but he hasn't thought about it at ALL!?!?!?! That makes me mad. Am I being a total pain right now?

I feel like such a jerk. And at the same time I'm mad. Why am I so angry all the time? Is this normal?

On the plus side, I'm staying at a hotel that has a mini bar with no key. I had the front desk send somone up to clear it all out (for the low low price of $40!) so that I woulnd't be tempted.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dan]

Hi Bea.
They tell me it's okay to feel angry.
It's what we do with it that we need to pay attention to.
I have plenty of anger these days. Life as it is, on it's terms and all that.
But I also know I need that mini bar empty.
I hope things sort themselves out as best they can for you.
Be well.

[greenmeadow]

thanks for posting this....

I found msyelf getting irritated too while sober in ways i normally would not. Maybe it's part of the recovery process.

I am thinking of surprising a neighbour with a gift.... a bottle of wine.... (clearing my own mini bar here)
stay cool and hope your bf gets better soon.

greenmeadow

[hopealwayz]

I can relate to you so much. I am going through the exact same thing as you. It isn't a good thing to go through, but things always work out. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Hope

[Mandybabes]

Hey good job on the mini-bar. What a good idea. I get angry too, angry that I can't drink normally and have to go through this. Jumpy much of the time too. Hey why not go see b/f and baby him a little. Maybe it will help.

[sickk&tired]

Thank you all so much. Its amazing how kind words from strangers are so comforting. You are my new minibar. (ba-dum-pum....)

Update: Looks like I can't get out of going to visit my b/f (i tried to change my flight around to go back home this friday instead of spending the weekend with Sicky McCoughsalot), since my flights are non-refundable/non-transferrable. I would have to fork over $250 to go home early, and I already used up all my extra money on new shoes. sigh.

[kckman]

Bea, it is settled then I really hope you have a great trip. It sounds like you need a little R & R. Good luck and great work being sober another day.