thomas11

After 22 months of alcohol free living I had some drinks on Saturday. I didn't get wasted, I didn't do or say anything I regret, and didn't let myself slide into a 2nd and 3rd day of drinking. What I did do is violate my own code of conduct and that bothers me. Physically I went through it fine, but mentally its tears you up. Dark thoughts creep into the corners of your mind. Then there is the self doubt and the natural inclination to beat yourself up. Productivity comes to a complete halt. What a waste.

So if you are new or struggling, I just want to share what I went through and hopefully it will help someone on this forum. Thanks.

Erratic

thomas u have done so well doing 22 months don't let the dark thoughts bring u any further down due to a few drinks on sat with your parents. The more we beat ourselves about these thoughts the worse it will become and the negative thinking could make u relapse totally which u have worked so hard and got so far to let these thoughts do this to you, also thanks for sharing and yes this can help many people like me xx

mecanix

Nothing i can't make worse by having a drink .

I hope you stay quit ,

Bestwishes, m

awuh1

Thomas, there is a lesson in every mistake. Take it, and be better for having acquired it.
All the best

Dee74

I think its possible to learn from our mistakes.

Just don't compound the mistake by staying too long in the past.
Most of us like a good wallow sometimes but it's not good for us.

It happened. It's done - look at what you need to do, and move on Jeff.

D

SimplyFree

Ditto.....it's done. Get right back to sobriety.

Usingthe12

I agree. Lace up your boots again and move on. You recognized your mistake. Don't do it again.

Peace

HTown

If you do not mind my asking, why did you think it was a good idea to drink? what did you think you would gain? again, you do not have to respond.

SoberLeigh

Learn from the mistake but keep moving forward, my friend.

Chilledice

I am SO glad you have come straight back here I really am!

22 months is AMAZING! You have proved to yourself that you can do this, what's done is done no need or point to ruminate upon it, freedom is still yours and you are taking it

thomas11

I have been estranged from my family (by my choice) for some time. I love my father to death, Mom's a different story. My father is dying, and he was so happy to see me and I guess the festive mood and joy of being in the same room together again. Its not an excuse, I am just trying to answer your question.

HTown

Thanks for the reply. I have followed your story and if after 22 months you drank, it just reenforces to me that I cannot turn my back on alcohol. I guess I was hoping I was not going to be hyper-vigilant forever, but I realize I cannot underestimate alcohol. I do not crave alcohol anymore, or miss it, or feel tempted, but I will never let my guard down. Thank you for posting.

FLCamper

I appreciate the response, too. I've been sober 2 1/2 years and wonder why some people slip up when they do. It seems that after a certain point that wouldn't happen although it clearly does. Thank you for sharing your experience. It certainly reminds me, too, to be careful.

BTW - you've done so well. I'm glad you stopped and did not repeat it with a day 2.

Dee74

How are you today Jeff?

D

hpdw

Before I was a member here roughly 6 years ago I was 24 months sober and thought I was cured !!! went on a holiday and began what I thought was normal drinking and it was during the holiday but before long I was back to week long binges screaming for help ,beaten mentally and physically . Jeff was strong he came straight back here ,hes working on how it happened and how to prevent it happening again . Jeff tells us how our thinking changes when we pick up that first drink and beyond . Listen to what hes saying I know I am .

August252015

Jeff- sorry that you relapsed and ditto what others said - glad you came here. You have another chance, and I hope you take it! Family relationships are difficult (I have a Mom/Dad difference, too) and for me, I just have to keep learning how to handle and stay even with myself as I seek to have a good relationship with them.

I am confident we will see you here and sober again!!

thomas11

HI Dee, I'm super busy right now with finding a new place to live. My wife is on call for jury duty, I'm negotiating our current house deal along with all the documentation involved, chores need to get done around the house, today might be a little calmer but since Sunday its been running non-stop.

thomas11

To those who commented on my family dynamics, I appreciate the kind words. It really is one of the toughest things to deal with. I got into my early 40's and realized this perfect family unit I was raised in was all an illusion and a lie. It is full deceit. If any family needs a code of conduct its mine.

hpdw

Its great to see you posting Jeff and you are feeling settled .