Weekenders Thread 18-20th August. It's time to join the grown-ups!
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Weekenders Thread 18-20th August. It's time to join the grown-ups!
18 is the age at which you legally become an adult in Britain. You are deemed responsible for your own actions and can vote, and sign legal documents etc.
We are also obliged to make decisions, most being straightforward and not particularly consequential but some are and require a good decision to be made.
In such circumstances the best decisions are made by finding out all the information you can, comparing or weighing up all the pros and cons and often making a decision knowing there is no easy answer or perfect solution to a problem but there are certainly good and bad choices.
As drunks of course we cannot do any of the above. We are 2nd class citizens devoid of self awareness and any rational decision making ability. We are the overgrown children, not allowed near the wheel of a car. We may need to be taken home by a responsible adult (or escorted somewhere else by a uniformed one!)
We do not participate in intelligent conversation and are best kept away from naked flames, sharp objects, anything fragile.
It is all pretty humiliating but that is just another of the many pernicious things alcohol does to us - turning us into vulnerable adult babies.
Being a grown-up means understanding that life is not just about seeking gratification - the easy escape route offered by booze is a lie - nor is being an adult one long barrel of laughs but there is plenty of pleasure, enjoyment and fun to be had as an adult, it's just that first you gotta be one. Reality is never as good as you hope or as bad as you fear. It took me 54 years to realise this.
This weekend put on your big boy or big girl pants, do what you're supposed to do and enjoy the rest of the weekend and let those remaining big kids have all the drama to themselves.
We are also obliged to make decisions, most being straightforward and not particularly consequential but some are and require a good decision to be made.
In such circumstances the best decisions are made by finding out all the information you can, comparing or weighing up all the pros and cons and often making a decision knowing there is no easy answer or perfect solution to a problem but there are certainly good and bad choices.
As drunks of course we cannot do any of the above. We are 2nd class citizens devoid of self awareness and any rational decision making ability. We are the overgrown children, not allowed near the wheel of a car. We may need to be taken home by a responsible adult (or escorted somewhere else by a uniformed one!)
We do not participate in intelligent conversation and are best kept away from naked flames, sharp objects, anything fragile.
It is all pretty humiliating but that is just another of the many pernicious things alcohol does to us - turning us into vulnerable adult babies.
Being a grown-up means understanding that life is not just about seeking gratification - the easy escape route offered by booze is a lie - nor is being an adult one long barrel of laughs but there is plenty of pleasure, enjoyment and fun to be had as an adult, it's just that first you gotta be one. Reality is never as good as you hope or as bad as you fear. It took me 54 years to realise this.
This weekend put on your big boy or big girl pants, do what you're supposed to do and enjoy the rest of the weekend and let those remaining big kids have all the drama to themselves.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,761
Shotgun! Nice post. thanks Sao.
Devoid of self awareness, rational decision making and the ability participate in intelligent conversations. - That was me. I'm just dam lucky my wife was the adult. And it was pretty humiliating when I came to that realization. I've got my big boy pants on now and I'm learning how to use them too.
Devoid of self awareness, rational decision making and the ability participate in intelligent conversations. - That was me. I'm just dam lucky my wife was the adult. And it was pretty humiliating when I came to that realization. I've got my big boy pants on now and I'm learning how to use them too.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
In!
TRUTH!
And alcohol hid that truth from me for decades.
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
Reality is never as good as you hope or as bad as you fear.
And alcohol hid that truth from me for decades.
Last edited by Nonsensical; 08-17-2017 at 05:06 AM. Reason: Updating.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I am making progress. I didn't post in the old thread.
I don't see how one walks away from a donut. Or how one doesn't have time to eat it.
Anyhoo, I've had to wrestle my eating habits back from the brink over a period of many years. When I quit drinking I suddenly started eating all the sugar. Just like a little kid. It's hard to learn to say, "No," to myself after years of self-indulgence. I think that applies to drinking, drugging, eating all the sugar, and lots of other hedonistic behaviors. I don't want to deny myself any little thing that comes into my head.
Angry? Lash out. (or worse, drink.)
Bored? Do something over the top.
Sad? Call someone and cry over it for an hour.
Hungry? Eat a half gallon of ice cream.
Addicts are nothing if not self-centered little babies who want what we want and want it now and do not want to deal with anything unpleasant - even if we caused it. I couldn't deal with myself. I was too sensitive to myself and my own emotions.
Thank God I've learned to take a pause. Not say that thing I think. Not do that thing I feel like I need to do.
Thanks for the post, Sao. Growing up. Indeed. Going against my nature has turned out to be the best thing ever. Calmer, less drama. So nice.
Originally Posted by biminiblue
Who leaves a donut uneaten? I can't even.
Maybe that's why I've found a couple extra pounds in the last couple months. It's coming up on winter too...STD, give me your secrets on donut-ignoring.
Maybe that's why I've found a couple extra pounds in the last couple months. It's coming up on winter too...STD, give me your secrets on donut-ignoring.
Originally Posted by STDragon
Well... I can leave a drink undrunk now, so I guess with a little practice, donuts can be ignored too.
BTW, it was missing when I got in this morning.
BTW, it was missing when I got in this morning.
Anyhoo, I've had to wrestle my eating habits back from the brink over a period of many years. When I quit drinking I suddenly started eating all the sugar. Just like a little kid. It's hard to learn to say, "No," to myself after years of self-indulgence. I think that applies to drinking, drugging, eating all the sugar, and lots of other hedonistic behaviors. I don't want to deny myself any little thing that comes into my head.
Angry? Lash out. (or worse, drink.)
Bored? Do something over the top.
Sad? Call someone and cry over it for an hour.
Hungry? Eat a half gallon of ice cream.
Addicts are nothing if not self-centered little babies who want what we want and want it now and do not want to deal with anything unpleasant - even if we caused it. I couldn't deal with myself. I was too sensitive to myself and my own emotions.
Thank God I've learned to take a pause. Not say that thing I think. Not do that thing I feel like I need to do.
Thanks for the post, Sao. Growing up. Indeed. Going against my nature has turned out to be the best thing ever. Calmer, less drama. So nice.
Learning to Live
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: CA
Posts: 203
Originally Posted by saoutchik
Being a grown-up means understanding that life is not just about seeking gratification - the easy escape route offered by booze is a lie - nor is being an adult one long barrel of laughs but there is plenty of pleasure, enjoyment and fun to be had as an adult, it's just that first you gotta be one. Reality is never as good as you hope or as bad as you fear. It took me 54 years to realise this.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome to Weekenders Erratic, Jezzi and it's good to see some familiar faces too.
At lunchtime today, a couple of hours after posting about being an adult, I saw a punnet of 6 peaches that were on their sell by date for 49p (about 65 us cents). They were very ripe obviously and rather delicious and I somehow managed to eat 5 of them at work today, giving one away. Now I am feeling what can only be described as uneasy, particularly in regard to my commute home. Self control is still an issue for me.
At lunchtime today, a couple of hours after posting about being an adult, I saw a punnet of 6 peaches that were on their sell by date for 49p (about 65 us cents). They were very ripe obviously and rather delicious and I somehow managed to eat 5 of them at work today, giving one away. Now I am feeling what can only be described as uneasy, particularly in regard to my commute home. Self control is still an issue for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi weekend people. It s been a while.
Sao, glad you enjoyed your peaches: moral of the story is that being a grown up is essential, but the child inside also has to be fed, and there are many ways to do it other than drinking.
Hope everyone has an awesome weekend, mine as usual will be filled with family, gardening and music.
Mr P
Sao, glad you enjoyed your peaches: moral of the story is that being a grown up is essential, but the child inside also has to be fed, and there are many ways to do it other than drinking.
Hope everyone has an awesome weekend, mine as usual will be filled with family, gardening and music.
Mr P
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Originally Posted by saoutchik
Welcome to Weekenders Erratic, Jezzi and it's good to see some familiar faces too.
At lunchtime today, a couple of hours after posting about being an adult, I saw a punnet of 6 peaches that were on their sell by date for 49p (about 65 us cents). They were very ripe obviously and rather delicious and I somehow managed to eat 5 of them at work today, giving one away. Now I am feeling what can only be described as uneasy, particularly in regard to my commute home. Self control is still an issue for me.
At lunchtime today, a couple of hours after posting about being an adult, I saw a punnet of 6 peaches that were on their sell by date for 49p (about 65 us cents). They were very ripe obviously and rather delicious and I somehow managed to eat 5 of them at work today, giving one away. Now I am feeling what can only be described as uneasy, particularly in regard to my commute home. Self control is still an issue for me.
Thanks saoutchik its good to be here and trying again. x
on eating 5 peaches least its healthy x I have to watch my self control issue as well, which i go opposite and stop eating thats a childhood thing for me which i have had eating disorder since 13 x
i did well i went to shops with husband this early evening and he bought dinner for himself and i avoided the alcohol lane, but felt like having a tantrum though lol its the childishness which seems to come out of me when i go sober its that if i dont get to drink i dont get to ea,t like i said its a very old childhood passive aggressive thing that i do and haven't over come yet. i do know i have a few mental health problems does anyone else get even a little like this?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Kid-free week-end here always poses a threat to my early sobriety. I'll be sure to stay close. Hitting up a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with friends tomorrow night! Gonna meet at an artsy coffee shop to get wired first!! Can't wait to do the Time Warp Again!!
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I'm in! Thanks for the started Saou
I completely get where you're coming from but also reflect on a few things.
I drank because it made me feel like I was an adult. When I would sidle up to the bar and order that beer I felt adult, free, and independent. Weird huh?
However, my brother, who will be 66 years old this December has drank the second half of his life trying to fight becoming an adult. His friends even have a nickname for him. "The Kid". No, I am not joking. It's his alter ego when he's drinking.
It made me shudder to type that he is going to be 66. He's had a quadruple bypass at the age of 46, 5 stints in his arteries since then, diabetes, and has had surgery because the blood vessels in the back of his eyes burst due to drinking and diabetes. Oh yes, in the past year he's also had a TIA (Trans Ischemic Attack) which is a warning mini stroke.
None of that makes him think about stopping drinking. I guess the only positive I can find is he's going to die doing what he loves most.
So so sad.
I completely get where you're coming from but also reflect on a few things.
I drank because it made me feel like I was an adult. When I would sidle up to the bar and order that beer I felt adult, free, and independent. Weird huh?
However, my brother, who will be 66 years old this December has drank the second half of his life trying to fight becoming an adult. His friends even have a nickname for him. "The Kid". No, I am not joking. It's his alter ego when he's drinking.
It made me shudder to type that he is going to be 66. He's had a quadruple bypass at the age of 46, 5 stints in his arteries since then, diabetes, and has had surgery because the blood vessels in the back of his eyes burst due to drinking and diabetes. Oh yes, in the past year he's also had a TIA (Trans Ischemic Attack) which is a warning mini stroke.
None of that makes him think about stopping drinking. I guess the only positive I can find is he's going to die doing what he loves most.
So so sad.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by saoutchik
18 is the age at which you legally become an adult in Britain. You are deemed responsible for your own actions and can vote, and sign legal documents etc.
We are also obliged to make decisions, most being straightforward and not particularly consequential but some are and require a good decision to be made.
In such circumstances the best decisions are made by finding out all the information you can, comparing or weighing up all the pros and cons and often making a decision knowing there is no easy answer or perfect solution to a problem but there are certainly good and bad choices.
As drunks of course we cannot do any of the above. We are 2nd class citizens devoid of self awareness and any rational decision making ability. We are the overgrown children, not allowed near the wheel of a car. We may need to be taken home by a responsible adult (or escorted somewhere else by a uniformed one!)
We do not participate in intelligent conversation and are best kept away from naked flames, sharp objects, anything fragile.
It is all pretty humiliating but that is just another of the many pernicious things alcohol does to us - turning us into vulnerable adult babies.
Being a grown-up means understanding that life is not just about seeking gratification - the easy escape route offered by booze is a lie - nor is being an adult one long barrel of laughs but there is plenty of pleasure, enjoyment and fun to be had as an adult, it's just that first you gotta be one. Reality is never as good as you hope or as bad as you fear. It took me 54 years to realise this.
This weekend put on your big boy or big girl pants, do what you're supposed to do and enjoy the rest of the weekend and let those remaining big kids have all the drama to themselves.
We are also obliged to make decisions, most being straightforward and not particularly consequential but some are and require a good decision to be made.
In such circumstances the best decisions are made by finding out all the information you can, comparing or weighing up all the pros and cons and often making a decision knowing there is no easy answer or perfect solution to a problem but there are certainly good and bad choices.
As drunks of course we cannot do any of the above. We are 2nd class citizens devoid of self awareness and any rational decision making ability. We are the overgrown children, not allowed near the wheel of a car. We may need to be taken home by a responsible adult (or escorted somewhere else by a uniformed one!)
We do not participate in intelligent conversation and are best kept away from naked flames, sharp objects, anything fragile.
It is all pretty humiliating but that is just another of the many pernicious things alcohol does to us - turning us into vulnerable adult babies.
Being a grown-up means understanding that life is not just about seeking gratification - the easy escape route offered by booze is a lie - nor is being an adult one long barrel of laughs but there is plenty of pleasure, enjoyment and fun to be had as an adult, it's just that first you gotta be one. Reality is never as good as you hope or as bad as you fear. It took me 54 years to realise this.
This weekend put on your big boy or big girl pants, do what you're supposed to do and enjoy the rest of the weekend and let those remaining big kids have all the drama to themselves.
Hello one & all
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Great to see you Soberwolf! I hope you are doing well.
Thanks Mr P my problems have um passed.
Erratic, I have no experience of eating disorders but I hope that with a bit of sobriety you can also make the best choices with regard to overcoming that too. Like biminiblue I did have an eating too much issue but once I got sober to some extent the problem solved itself.
Sunshine - are you going to dress up? Many do for that show.
LadyBlue, so sad about your brother. I just hope that one day very soon he just thinks "enough" there is always a sliver of hope.
Thanks Mr P my problems have um passed.
Erratic, I have no experience of eating disorders but I hope that with a bit of sobriety you can also make the best choices with regard to overcoming that too. Like biminiblue I did have an eating too much issue but once I got sober to some extent the problem solved itself.
Sunshine - are you going to dress up? Many do for that show.
LadyBlue, so sad about your brother. I just hope that one day very soon he just thinks "enough" there is always a sliver of hope.
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