SWB

Every day for almost a week I wake up with they intent to be sober. I make it till about 3-4 in the afternoon, and I start planning when I'll drive to the packie. That night it starts all over again. It really hit me last night when my sister in law called to tell me that they rushed my mother to the hospital and she could tell I was lit. I want to have the same resolve all through the day.

Dee74

I found posting here - whether I was posting for myself or posting to help someone else - helped me get through that desire to buy more booze.

The bottom line is if we want change we need to make different, better, decisions.

Sounds like your family and your mom needs you to be sober right now.

D

Awake61

I understand completely. I was exactly like you. Take it minute by minute and keep thinking about your mom. YOU can do this.

SWB

Thanks

MidnightRider

SWB - When I first got sober I had the SAME feelings in the afternoon.

My trick was to make a cup of coffee and eat a snack instead. I started to do this every day..... To me it became a comfortable time and after I had my snack.... The craving for a "drink" subsided.

Also, in the evenings.... I would "Play the tape" forward to the next day. I would be thinking about all the regret and guilt and stomach problems ... I "would" be having if I drank that night.

Maybe going to a meeting would help too!
Hope this helps.!

Mummyto2

My trigger time started 7pm, so I used to turn the clock back, silly really but it worked as I kept trying to trick my mind good luck

Michelle009

Is AA an option for you? Find a meeting that starts around the same time that you start planning your packie run. Hopefully when the 90 minutes is up, the craving will have passed.

I'm only 22 days in, so I am still taking baby steps myself. I had serious cravings this past weekend and I could almost feel the ice cold beer going down my throat... but... it is not effin' worth it. There will never be just one. I can't control it, it controls me. The cravings are rotten. However, they do pass. You won't discover that until you fight through one to the other side. When you're on the other side of it there is pride. After you fight through one, you know that you can make it through another. I know the AA mantra is "One day at a time" but sometimes it's "One craving at a time."

I wish you all the best!

doggonecarl

The decision to quit drinking is merely the first step in the journey of recovery. An important step, but just the first one. After that it takes action.

So what are you doing to make sure you support that decision to quit?

thomas11

What you describe is a cycle that many many alcoholics experience for years and years. As Carl mentions, words are nice, but action gets results. We must take the fight to the enemy. The enemy being alcohol.

herculana

In the NAKED MIND the author talks about this insane behavior we ALL go through when we have an addiction. Its all because of the addiction. That is WHAT addiction is. A craving for something that doesnt actually work or make you happy... A craving. It a subconscious thing.

I highly recommend reading NAKED MIND. It really helps you understand whats going on in your brain. It demystifies these things.... and makes you realize youre not a flawed, weak person... Just a person who got snared into an addiction cycle, a cycle no person is immune to.

This is WHAT repetitive alcohol use does to your brain. Stopping is not quite so simple for the addict as just recognizing that its making your quality of life suffer ... Its not that simple. There is some very powerful underlying brain chemistry at work, making you go against your most sane and logical thinking... and your heartfelt desires to stay sober.

Knowing something about that brain chemisty is a VERY powerful tool to aid you in your recovery and your resolve.

Knowledge is power.

The way you described your cycle is pretty much EXACTLY the same for every single person on this entire site. Its not unique to you BY A LONG SHOT.

Thats exactly WHY we all come here! We need powerful support to get through this to break through to the other side of addiction... to sobriety.

Stay here, but also, if you want to understand better why you keep doing what youre doing, please look into THE NAKED MIND. I got it on kindle finally after many women in my other group kept referring me to it.

Started reading yesterday. Its been incredibly helpful.

january161992

thinking and decisions are great

action is the key