Nobody knows - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-19-2017, 05:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 32

Nobody knows


Hi guys,
Day 15 for me today. The craving and desire for drinking seems to have left me , well the past few days anyway. I never told any of my family or friends that I quit drinking. None of them really knew how bad it was anyway, I was a real snake in the grass when it came to hiding it!
My point is , I don't really have any positive reenforcment at home or with friends only for this site I probably would be back on a day 1. People are noticing though, like when I was able to pick my sister up from the airport at midnight on Saturday or today when a work colleague asked did I have a few yesterday in the sun and I said no she looked shocked. (She and I would share drinking stories, she is absolutely an alcoholic)
Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know I'm doing great. Onwards and upwards. X
Charli23 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Charli23 For This Useful Post:
bimbott (06-19-2017), Mizzuno (06-19-2017), Petecrab (06-19-2017), thomas11 (06-19-2017), time2shineagain (06-19-2017)
Old 06-19-2017, 05:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Maudcat's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 3,396
Keep at it, Charli.
That is great.
I told very few people that I had stopped drinking.
Mostly because I was afraid that I would relapse, and then what?
I didn't, but I don't regret keeping cards close to the vest.
It's really no one's business but yours.
And, as you say, if your family didn't know how enmeshed you were, they can't really be all that supportive.
People will notice that your appearance is better, and that you are different than before.
They just won't know why.
Maudcat is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Maudcat For This Useful Post:
Charli23 (06-19-2017)
Old 06-19-2017, 05:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 291
Great news!!! You might be surprised, though, at how many people know about our drinking and would be so supportive of the decision to stop. I too thought I was pretty sneaky, but when it finally came out, everyone knew so much more than I thought. I was shocked but relieved. Being an alcoholic requires lots of lying, lying by omission, and general truth bending. You might find more support and feel more secure in your sobriety if you come clean. But that's your choice! Congrats on 15 days :-)
VigilanceNow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VigilanceNow For This Useful Post:
Charli23 (06-19-2017), Maudcat (06-19-2017)
Old 06-19-2017, 06:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 32
I know right! Even as I read the post back I think ... did they know what I was up to? The answer is probably yes. I would bring home 2 bottles of wine and have a couple of glasses with my mother and had an online college course for three hours and drink the other bottle alone. That was a few years ago . I really don't know how I passed my exams. Perfect example of functioning. There hasn't been any vodka in the house for the last couple of weeks but as I said to begin with my mother was the one who I drank with and she has switched to beer or cider. I'd say tue fri sat and sun. The last straw for me was when she got so messed up she was falling around the house and my father took a picture and showed it to her of her on the floor. I was so embarrassed because I was also an enabler. I paid for the booze. I could always hold it together sometimes you would never know I had a drink but I had to stop , it was spiralling over the past 5 years or so. Gosh, I'm burning just thinking about it. But she doesn't want to stop and I can't make her . I can only be responsible for my own actions and instead of listening to my AV , try and parent myself . Do what I can to make my life a great one not lying around hungover,sick , dehydrated and not giving a sh## about anything because I'm so ill.
Rant over ! 😂✌️️
Charli23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2017, 06:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 8,649
Blog Entries: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charli23 View Post
I never told any of my family or friends that I quit drinking. None of them really knew how bad it was anyway, I was a real snake in the grass when it came to hiding it!
The potential danger in not being open about your quitting is there is no accountability to keep you from returning to drinking. What I refer to as, "keeping the back door open to drinking."

You family and friends didn't know you drank, don't know you quit, and if you return to drinking, no one is the wiser.

Except you, of course. You have you're own integrity to keep you accountable. Just make sure the "reason" that you are keeping your recovery a secret isn't the option to return to drinking in secret.
doggonecarl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
Charli23 (06-19-2017), Mizzuno (06-19-2017)
Old 06-19-2017, 07:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
In a Place Called Earth
 
Mizzuno's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 3,264
Blog Entries: 11
I like what DC has said. Keeping it a secret means that you have an opportunity to consume if you so choose and no one would know the difference. That being said, your decision to quit and keep it a secret is completely up to you.

I dont talk of my recovery with people. It is not a part of the conversation. I am very open about my life and if it were to come up in conversation, I would not mince my words or hide the fact. The truth is available to anyone who questions but I am not on the rooftop with a megaphone letting the world know that I am an alcoholic. They probably already know anyway.

Stay close. Do what makes you feel comfortable. No one can tell you how to live your life. If you can find one person for face to face it would be helpful though.
__________________
Your Magnificence Knows No Boundaries
Mizzuno is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mizzuno For This Useful Post:
Charli23 (06-19-2017)
Old 06-19-2017, 10:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,078
Day 15 is fantastic Charli!! Keep it going!!
PurpleKnight is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
Charli23 (06-19-2017)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:44 AM.