Two weeks
 

It's Day 14. Two whole weeks have gone by.
I think I'm in for a difficult time. It relapse Friday, here again. That guy is gonna be here again. I'm already crying like mad because I can't handle the situation. I don't want these bloody feelings, well the bad ones anyway. I so don't want to lose my two weeks but I already feel out of control emotionally. I'm frightened.

Don't be scared. 2 Weeks is amazing. How badly do you want this? Are you going to allow this achievement to be stolen from you? Hell NO! I believe in you but you need to believe in yourself. You are strong and will not let anyone else determine how this day goes. I hope to hear you checking in for 15 days tomorrow xxx

I'm not up on the background of who this guy is or why he's around on Fridays, but you handled last Friday weev - why not do what you did then and go to a meeting? :)

D

It's like all the things I know about alcohol just get smaller in my head and this feeling of wanting a drink just takes over, like it's *the* only solution. Like the emotions immediately calm down once you've decided to drink.

Last week, I went out all day to avoid physically confronting the guy. It was a pretty bad and I don't want to be going through this. It's so painful and I can't seem to look positively and the wreck I made of my life.

Well here I am. Sitting in a petrol station with a liquor store thinking about drinking. I kindov know from reading here that this happens even after two weeks away from the stuff. It's like my body's paralyzed and I can't get out of the car. Is this panic?

Think about tomorrow and how good you'll feel having not given in again.

You've been down the drinking road - there's nothing for you there - why not continue to give not drinking a chance...?

Just drive away Weev.

D

Time to turn your story around.

You need to rename Friday.

You need to change the narrative on your projected 'difficult time'.

Your words are already choosing your path.

Do me a favor: rewrite your original post here and give it a new spin, a new story.

Write it from the voice of the sober you.

Imagine you in Monday after a sober weekend of goodness.

Write it without the fear, but with the confidence of knowing you don't have to choose a relapse and a relapse can't 'get' you unless you choose it.

I can't make myself. I've got this image of a big Smirnoff bottle in front of my eyes and I'm so sad. The manager' be out in a minute. I know that first gulp will be like death but then the world will go away and the pain. Oh f--k. Now I'm bloody sobbing.

Poor me.... poor me..... pour me a drink.

Stop it.

Rewrite it.

You have a choice.

I know. I know what you say is true. But I don't know how to live now. I miss my family. And I miss the drink.

Don't feel like I've got any fight in me today. I'm setting off for that faraway meeting now.

a meeting is a good place to start. I'm off to one as well.

you don't know how?

PERFECT!!!

It's actually better if you don't "know".

That means you can let go and accept the guidance, experience, strength and hope of those who have found what you're after.

You don't need to "know" - because there is a map and a set of tools laid out for you already.

It begins like this:

"I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND MY LIFE HAS BECOME UNMANAGEABLE".

At the meeting, ask for a Big Book.

Bring it home.

Read it.

Today.

You will find all you need to "know".

:grouphug:

Keep posting

It gets darkest before the dawn Weev

It won't always be like this, but you got to go through this to get to a better place.

Have faith that you can do this. Tell yourself you can do this.

I have absolute faith that you'll make another day sober.

I believe that you have the right stuff to change Weev - trust -= this is the right road for you...

People will catch you if you take that leap of faith :)

D

I'm not drunk. But I do feel like I've been on an emotional drunk today. I ended dodgy relationship after talking to sponsor and am going out to another meeting in 20 mins. Guess I just have to accept life's not going to change to suit me so I'd better alter my attitude. It's all news to me.

If this guy is bad for you, Weev, please break the date. Nothing and no one are worth risking your sobriety.

Is this the same guy that sent you reeling a couple of weeks ago? If so, run, sweetheart. You are so much better than that.

Well done, Weev. That took strength and determination; so proud of you.

Be proud of Weev!!!

I do feel like a warrior of life after today :) Usually by now I'm sneaking around drinking (I live alone) feeling like I failed again. And all I had to do was face my fears. He he. I'll do that again tomorrow then.

You're a star in the dark SL

Aw, thank you, Weev.

What a nice thing to say.

Proud of you. Something I've done throughout my life is push the physical and mental limits of the human mind and body. And what I learned is that we are capable of SO much more than we think we are. And you proved it today. Please don't drink and keep posting. We're all here.