Berrybean

Please don't stop posting Stewy. Like AA or any other recovery group, this forum works because it is a refuge for the weak, not a showcase for the contented.

Sure it's lovely to hear when things are going well for people, but we all need or needed that support at times. This is just your time, and when you get sober no doubt you'll want to help others who are stuck in the vortex.

Prayers for you to find sobriety and recovery. But those need to be your wishes not just ours. You need to really want to get well. To want to recover from the hurt, resentment and bitterness of this relationship. Otherwise your AV is going to convince you to hold onto it because it's a pretty convincing excuse to keep drinking. Well it's got you fooled anyway. For as long as you want it to.

You can recover. You can be happy. A lot of this boils down to making a decision. And we can complicate it as much as we like, but there it is.

BB

Dee74

I agree with the others Stewy.

Don't stop posting - posting here is not your problem - it may be the one thing you're doing that ends up saving you, man.

D

Hevyn

Very good support & advice here Stewy - and I agree - not posting would be a big mistake. You're not thinking straight while drinking - please ditch it, Stewy.

noneever

Keep posting. Draw on the support here. You're overwhelmed and need support. The strength and clarity you need to move forward are only going to arise by being sober. Alcohol is stealing your hope and ability to take steps to remove yourself completely from this toxic relationship.

Eastcoaster20

Please don't stop posting. You're hurt and in overwhelming pain. Drinking will keep you stuck in this horrible vortex. I know it sounds easier said than done but making plans, one step at time, you can change things for the better. Commit to not drinking. Call an attorney for a consultation. Once the ball is rolling, things won't seem as insurmountable as they do now. We are all here for you and you can do this! One baby step at a time. Hour by hour.

Stewy84

I've been working from home today

Last night ended with an argument with my mum (I have no idea what about) and a series of semi comprehensive text messages to my girlfriend which were angry and frustrated in nature

Today I'm going to be sober, I'm making that decision now.

I have a telephone consultation with the therapy people at 3pm today so I need to give them the issues don't I

Thank you to you all for your patience and understanding over the last few weeks, it's been disruptive to the max

Berrybean

Hey Stewy,

Good to hear you're aiming for sobriety today. It is hard to get out of the vortex but hopefully you've got a good hold on the life raft. Hope the telephone consultation goes well. Is there a meeting you can get to soon your support is belt and braces?

Rooting for you here in the UK fenland.

BB

SoberLeigh

Welcome to Day 1, dear Stewy.

Let us know how the telephone consult goes.

AnvilheadII

way to hang in there, stewy!!! really glad to "see" you here today.

Anna

Stewy, I hope your telephone consultation goes well.

ScottFromWI

I would suggest being honest, yes - they can definitely help you but only if you tell them exactly what the problems are. What do you feel the biggest issues you need help with are?

Glad you've decided to stay sober today, and I very much hope you can.

Hevyn

Hoping it was a good consultation, Stewy.

SoberLeigh

How did the consultation go, Stewy?

CreativeThinker

Glad you're back buddy! Sending support to you from Boston, MA Stewy!

Stewy84

They're not able to help with the alcohol side or the junk food

They're going to help me with social anxiety. CBT 12 sessions which is good.

I'm drinking tonight, I genuinely feel like I need to break from posting. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, it's there in my mind that what I'm doing is destroying me yet I'm not taking enough action.

I really feel quite low at the moment like my brain is so tired of all of this and my body feels so unhealthy.

Sorry everyone I'm really sorry

SoberLeigh

I truly believe that you need to keep posting, Stewy.

Don't let alcohol won. Your AV would just love that.

Please pour out the poison, Stewy.

tomsteve

maybe its time surrender?
then instead of listening to the suggestions that have been offered, DO the suggestions?

do you WANT to get and stay sober?

ScottFromWI

What did they suggest you could do with the drinking? It seems quite odd that therapist would not at least have a recommendation. What did they say about the obsessions you have with your relationships? Those are really the 2 main issues you need to work on, don't you think? Maybe a second opinon might be in order?

ScottFromWI

That's because you are drinking. Not sure what it's going to take for you to realize Stewy.

Anna

I echo exactly what Scott said. You feel tired of it all and unhealthy because you're drinking. When you stop drinking, you will start to feel better.