Day 1 again
 

Hey everyone!

I have just poured out all alcohol in the house again. So I'm on my Day 1. I had 8 years of sobriety when I relapsed 3 years ago. It's been a struggle ever since. Feeling really scared right now, I have to make it this time. Thanks for reading!

Verona....welcome. Stick around post and join the April class of 2017. I understand day 1. You'll find lots of positive support here. Make a plan and start working it so you don't have to repeat day 1 again. Blessings

Welcome Verona! Nothing to be scared of. You're doing the right thing. You know you can do this. Keep posting!

Welcome to SR Verona - I'm glad you found us - this is a place of great support :)

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Thanks for your support everyone!

Well done on tipping the poison away
Well done on Day 1 x

Hi Verona, You came to the right place. There is so much support here. Please live here if you have to. I'm new, too, and I'm finding that the more I post to others the stronger I feel, if that makes sense. It's a great place to be. You can do this!

Thanks guys for your support, I wasn't expecting so many replies this quick! Means a lot to me, I'm feeling awful after yesterdays binge. I've really had it this time! I'm already nervous about day 3 and day 10, for some reason I usually relapse on those days. What's up with that?

Verona, I totally understand. Day 4 was the hardest for me and I'm actually surprised that I'm on Day 6 today. But whatever happens, make the decision that no matter how you're feeling, you'll have to find another way than drinking to deal with it. Drinking is no option. Someone posted that the other day and I used it for my signature. It's the only thing that got me through Day 4.

Or, whatever got you through 8 years of sobriety, remember that thought process. Write it down and keep it in mind when the going gets hard. You can get through it!

My thoughts on why relapse is high on those days...I think we start to feel better and our alcoholic voice says "Why not....One drink won't hurt" then off we go back into the circling of the drain of alcoholism. I am struggling. I was good. Not so much now. Trying to get back on track! I wish you well.

I think I need to maybe reword my post from earlier "when I post to others it makes me feel stronger"...I should have said, when I read others posts and share, too...it makes me feel stronger. :)

Thanks so much Givingup54 and MsCooterBrown! Yes, those thoughts from AV like "maybe I can have just one" start after a few days. But this time drinking will be no option!

Verona, I know what you mean. I tried "tapering off", and I can do well at it for a little while, but end up finding myself drinking more than ever and waking up with that gosh awful hangover almost daily. That's no kind of life. Feeling sick all day until it's time to drink again, only to wake up the next morning and do it all again. Ugh. As hard as quitting is, I think it's harder living that way.

You've got this! No option! :-)

Givingup54, I feel exactly the same way! Tried moderation over and over, but it doesn't work for me,I really know that now! Just feeling so ashamed and embarrassed right now for letting people down and behaving badly.

Welcome Verona! I found myself feeling the exact same way almost 5 weeks ago. SR has been for me in my recovery so far. You'll find so much support here. Kudos to you for your day 1!

Verona, We've all been there. Some of the worst and dumbest things done in my life have been while drinking. Please don't be hard on yourself. I hope this doesn't sound preachy because I hate preachy. But I used to ask God forgiveness over and over for things I've done. It took me a long time to realize that he's already forgiven me. I just hadn't forgiven myself. Then I came to the realization that if God can forgive me, then who am I not to forgive myself and quit beating myself up. I still want to fall back into that "guilt" trap, but it only makes me feel bad. So, please don't keep beating yourself up over things you did while drinking. That's in the past. Today is a new day! You won't make those same mistakes again. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward. :)

Eastcoaster20, congratulations on almost 5 weeks sober, that's so great! I agree, I think SR will be a great place of support, I already feel so welcome!

Givingup54, wow, you really gave me something to think about! You didn't come off as preachy at all, don't worry. It's very comforting to think that maybe I'm already forgiven. Usually it drives me to drink when I'm being very hard on myself for what I've done in the past. This time I will try your suggestion, not dwell on things but try to do better from now on. Not easy, but I'm willing to try anything!

Thanks, Verona. It's a new day, new beginning! :c015:

KEEP POSTING. Support to you.