Stewy84

My daughter lives with her mum and not me, I am very consistent, I see her 3 times a week, she is happy and content and we have a great relationship. She has zero awareness of my problem.

I've done a lot to nurture the relationship,

Continued drinking would eventually lead to me losing my drivers licence which would really impact on me and my daughter, that Is probably the main issue with respect to my daughter

Soberwolf

Clear your msg inbox bud your full again

MarkTwain

Excellent, Stew, very very good. A good consistent dad is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. Way to go.

PippoRossi

BINGO. ^^^^ This ^^^^

Grymt

Have you decided you are an alcoholic?

Obsession, Heartache, feeling sorry for ones self et.c. are some excuses to drink. For an alcoholic any excuse will do. The truth is you are or you are not ready to stop drinking. If you are ready to stop then the way is simple. First you stop. Then you do what so many alcoholics have already done before you. Don't pick up the first drink and use the various techniques and resources available to live life sober.

WildernessVoice

Stewy I keep thinking how wonderful it would be to have 2 years sober. You see I haven't had that in my entire adult life. Be so very proud of yourself and don't let time get away with you. Pick yourself up, dust off and if you can't walk then crawl one minute at a time.
You can do this! Not just for your daughter but for the you that is waiting!
Take care...

PhoenixJ

So your human. Self pity is not what you are trying to do- you posted. Get up- try again. Change something- go to a meeting or 5. Get SMART tools online. Read, share. post. Distract when craving. Post here when craving. Support to you.

SeaOfSerenity

main issue for now...

what kind of incident do you foresee in which you lose your drivers license?
one you get to keep your life and/or freedom I presume.
not having a car isn't the real issue

youre in a real **** place right now but you have the strength to pull yourself out. you've had 2 years sober stewy, you know you can do it!

SoberLeigh

Stewy, it is great that your daughter has no awareness of your problem.

Now.

That won't last.

Kids are so smart.

Soon enough, she will suspect that something is wrong.

Eventually, she will know.

Between Now and Eventually isn 't that much time.

Blink, just blink, and Eventually will have arrived.

Blink again and someone will offer her alcohol.

She may think "Well Dad does it".

Alcoholism tends to run in families.

I pray, truly pray, that you never see alcoholism manifest itself in your daughter. It is a whole new low. A whole new pain. A whole new despair.

Set the example of sobriety and recovery.

Begin now.

Stewy84

I don't know if I'm an alcoholic?

I've always said problem drinker on the verge, who really knows though all I know is I'm never EVER going to be able to "drink normally"

I get the comments about my daughter, I just want to provide assurances that I've always prioritised my daughter and time with her, sometimes to the detriment of time with my current girlfriend. Im incredibly proud of my relationship with my daughter.

Got to get a foothold, I know I'm in a mess, I know I need to curb this, keep posting and get sober. I never thought I'd turn out in this way but I'm just going to have to fight to get on an even path and that's the bottom line.

Dee74

No matter what you call it, things are pretty much unmanageable now Stewy.

D

Stewy84

I know mate, I know

ScottFromWI

You have been drunk out of your mind for about 3-4 weeks now. You have prioritized alcohol over your daughter Stewy....think about that for a minute. That's not to say that we haven't done the same...but your addiction is in full control right now...don't let it fool you into thinking that it is not.

mecanix

Hey Stewy ,
time to ditch the booze , it's a new day here in the UK .

For me i was always curbing my drinking , make up rules doing it only at weekends , just a binge once in a while , red wine only after dinner .

I knew i was an alcoholic i just didnt want to admit it , because admitting it meant i'd have to do something about it..... and really when you get down to it, give it up forever ..... i really didn't want that .. to admit to myself i had to do that .

You never seem happy when your drunk , that party has moved on .. it might have been a laff 15 years ago ..

have some water before you sleep , a new day tomorrow , with sobriety we get the chance to build a decent sober life , it might not be what we expected but it is worthwhile .

night night , m

SoberLeigh

How are you today, Stewy?

tomsteve

stewy, i hope ya dont think anyone here is saying to dont care about and love your daughter.
HOWEVER, always prioritizing your daughter and time with her- it has been reading like that is #2 on the priority list. #1 has been drinking- its the the highest priority on you list.
ive been there. spent tons of time with my son. hockey,football,baseball- i paid for it and was the one responsable for getting him to practices and games. i had him at least every other weekend. but drinking was still a higher priority. might not have drank every game or practice, but there were quite a few i drank before or during and always after. drank when i had him on weekends yet rationalized that since i waited until we were home for the day it was ok to drink and play with him.
i could go on quite a bit how i rationalized that i had my priorities straight, and this alcoholic did- alcohol was #1.

after i got sober,my son brought up a memory of a hockey game where i reeked of alcohol.he didnt know what the smell was at the time, but learned. once he learned what it smelled like, he could remember that smell quite often from me.

the thing with problem drinkers is that when they see they have a problem,they stop drinking and no more problems- no more life problems.they dont need therapists,counselling,etc.
alcoholics stop drinking and are left with all of the underlying issues that alcohol was a symptom for.

Stewy84

Honestly my daughter has taken the highest importance. My girlfriend always said I spent more time with my daughter more than her. To be honest the fact that my girlfriend had the mentality even to say that was weird as surely if someone wants a relationship with me then they should be aware I come with a daughter. That isn't a opportunity to use them as some sort of comparison tool and benchmark for time I spend with them. The relationship was eventually "well because you don't spend time with me, I'm not going to spend any with your daughter"

It doesn't even matter about the label of alcoholic or problem drinker, I've got to stop dead, no moderation or planning drinks, just stop immediately

I'm sorry if I've seemed like I'm not listening to advice, I am but I've just been so annoyed about splitting up from my girlfriend it's just been automatic go for the booze.

I've given my entire 20's to my daughter and that's completely the right thing to do, I don't want anyone thinking I'm a bad dad because I don't think I am

MarkTwain

Why isn't it automatic to work your program more diligently and be even more committed to staying away from booze?

Diligence seems to me every bit as valid a response as "go for the booze," and would yield better results.

You can do it. You've done it before, you can do it again. Best wishes.

Stewy84

I'm really lost, everyone has condemned my relationship so I can't even begin to try sort that out

I'm labelled as someone who doesn't listen

I post when I'm drunk as opposed to before

Now my daughter is in the mix even though I have given my all to succeeding in this area

Sorry everyone I'm just annoyed

And drunk again, it's ridiculous, if only I could just be that brilliant person I want to aspire to be and everything would be great

SoberLeigh

It's quite obvious that you are a good Dad, Stewy.

We, here, all know, however, know what happens as our alcoholism progresses. Alcohol becomes our # 1 priority.. All other priorities drop off and fade away.

Be good to yourself; achieve full sobriety and recovery.

Being good to yourself is a big part of being a great Dad for your daughter.

We are all solidly in your corner, Stewy.