Class of April 2017 Support Thread Part One
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
Day 5 for me. When I walked past the AA sign at my meeting tonight, it fell over. =/ not sure what that means! (I think it just means the wind happened to blow the sign over when I walked past and doesn't mean anything beyond that.)
It was my regular "home group" meeting tonight, and though I've been stressed about this all day and REALLY wasn't looking forward to it, I still stood up when they asked those of us with 30 days or less of sobriety to stand up. To their knowledge, I was at 4 months. So I had to stand up and admit to all these wonderful people I've gotten to know pretty well over the last few months that I'd been drinking and I'm back at day 5. And really, I had been drinking quite a bit while still going to meetings. I first went to AA last November and stayed clean 10 days. Then drank. Then repented and came clean to everyone and made it another 10 days, and then I drank again. And this time I couldn't bear to admit that I'd been drinking, so I just kept telling everyone at AA and my sponsor that I was keeping clean while in the meantime I was still drinking. It was horribly dishonest and I hated myself for doing it, but I shoved it out of my mind. Thank GOD this long string of lies is over.
And you know what, nobody at my meeting was pissed at me for being back at day 5. They were all just grateful I was there. No judgment. Lots of understanding. Just nothing but compassion. And that's incredible to me.
I talked to my sister-in-law today about my struggles with alcohol and all she said was "well have you seen a therapist?" Honestly it kind of pissed me off, but she just doesn't get it. To think I could just talk to some licensed professional for an hour a week and be cured of alcoholism, lol. Come on. She and my brother know about my drinking problem but haven't done a damn thing to help me with it, and it's kind of driving a wedge between me and them. Maybe my anger isn't justified and I should take this on myself, but I at least need to get this out there. I don't want to hold anything in right now.
Stay strong, everyone.
It was my regular "home group" meeting tonight, and though I've been stressed about this all day and REALLY wasn't looking forward to it, I still stood up when they asked those of us with 30 days or less of sobriety to stand up. To their knowledge, I was at 4 months. So I had to stand up and admit to all these wonderful people I've gotten to know pretty well over the last few months that I'd been drinking and I'm back at day 5. And really, I had been drinking quite a bit while still going to meetings. I first went to AA last November and stayed clean 10 days. Then drank. Then repented and came clean to everyone and made it another 10 days, and then I drank again. And this time I couldn't bear to admit that I'd been drinking, so I just kept telling everyone at AA and my sponsor that I was keeping clean while in the meantime I was still drinking. It was horribly dishonest and I hated myself for doing it, but I shoved it out of my mind. Thank GOD this long string of lies is over.
And you know what, nobody at my meeting was pissed at me for being back at day 5. They were all just grateful I was there. No judgment. Lots of understanding. Just nothing but compassion. And that's incredible to me.
I talked to my sister-in-law today about my struggles with alcohol and all she said was "well have you seen a therapist?" Honestly it kind of pissed me off, but she just doesn't get it. To think I could just talk to some licensed professional for an hour a week and be cured of alcoholism, lol. Come on. She and my brother know about my drinking problem but haven't done a damn thing to help me with it, and it's kind of driving a wedge between me and them. Maybe my anger isn't justified and I should take this on myself, but I at least need to get this out there. I don't want to hold anything in right now.
Stay strong, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Illuminate, I am guessing families don't know how to support recovery very well. If I drink, my family is angry at me, and I understand that and agree that they aren't out of line. But if I don't drink there is simple silence. No encouragement or cheering me on. I guess their fear is they might somehow trigger me to drink. I suppose that could happen, but I think only those who have had this struggle of staying clean understand the challenge and the effort it takes. So hang in there. Day 5 is fine and back on track. No more lies needed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
I always remind myself my recovery is my responsibility and not to expect rewards for being sober from others. I also find that counselling helps- to work out the reasons why I drank. Meetings remind me not to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
Hi everyone,
I am with you on the mood swings SimplyFree. Hopefully they level out soon.
Congrats on day 23 erratic
Good job coming right back Sid.
Just finished Day 1 again today. I was on day 8 and have been drinking for a couple of days. I need to find some way to cope with stress and worrying about everything. I bought 3 journals yesterday on Amazon and I should get them tomorrow. I am hoping writing down my thoughts and worries each day will help me deal with them. I typed up a huge long message with everything bothering me, but decided to spare you all. It helped just to type it out though I think
Wishing everyone a safe & sober day/evening~
I am with you on the mood swings SimplyFree. Hopefully they level out soon.
Congrats on day 23 erratic
Good job coming right back Sid.
Just finished Day 1 again today. I was on day 8 and have been drinking for a couple of days. I need to find some way to cope with stress and worrying about everything. I bought 3 journals yesterday on Amazon and I should get them tomorrow. I am hoping writing down my thoughts and worries each day will help me deal with them. I typed up a huge long message with everything bothering me, but decided to spare you all. It helped just to type it out though I think
Wishing everyone a safe & sober day/evening~
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Hi everyone. I'm on my 2nd day without drinking. Feeling okay actually. I have to confess, I really haven 't been using the forum properly while I've been a member. What I've been doing is either posting something when I'm drunk - bit too late really - or instead I come on a thread like this and just briefly affirm that I'm sober at the time. When I'm sober, amazingly I seem to forget that I have a problem or rather it just ceases to be a priority. So inevitably I find myself back at the beginning again.
I've been looking around in more depth here. Beyond using willpower, I see there I have a reluctance to put any work into making changes in my life. Now I'm starting to see that I can't just bypass this. I may not like it but it's got to be done.
Good luck and best wishes everyone.
I've been looking around in more depth here. Beyond using willpower, I see there I have a reluctance to put any work into making changes in my life. Now I'm starting to see that I can't just bypass this. I may not like it but it's got to be done.
Good luck and best wishes everyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 81
Good day to all
Illuminate - I don't have any siblings, but I understand in a way. My bestfriend of 28 years called shortly after my AA meeting yesterday to tell me her oldest son passed his drivers test, so we had a driver next time I came home (so we could get hammered). She was off work at the time having a cocktail. When I told her I was in AA now, she couldn't get off the phone with me fast enough. Hurt my feelings, but it's ok. I realize she feels she has the same issue I do and doesn't want to think or deal with that. We have to put our sobriety first before everything and everyone and let it be. I love her dearly, but I can't worry about our relationship right now.
I need counselling and hope to get some. I realize I'm only on Day 3, but AA is helping greatly ... everyone has been so open and welcoming the past 2 days. Really looking forward to today's meeting in a couple of hours. But also, I need some Cognitive therapy. Trying to get into a outpatient program via my insurance. They refer to being sober without dealing with your underlining issues that got me to run to drugs and booze as being a "Dry Drunk." To stay sober, I know I have more work to do than just not drink.
But if all we do today is not drink, that's ok too. One day at a time. I'm just happy to be on day 3.
Best wish to all of Class and I hope everyone has a wonderful sober day XO
Illuminate - I don't have any siblings, but I understand in a way. My bestfriend of 28 years called shortly after my AA meeting yesterday to tell me her oldest son passed his drivers test, so we had a driver next time I came home (so we could get hammered). She was off work at the time having a cocktail. When I told her I was in AA now, she couldn't get off the phone with me fast enough. Hurt my feelings, but it's ok. I realize she feels she has the same issue I do and doesn't want to think or deal with that. We have to put our sobriety first before everything and everyone and let it be. I love her dearly, but I can't worry about our relationship right now.
I need counselling and hope to get some. I realize I'm only on Day 3, but AA is helping greatly ... everyone has been so open and welcoming the past 2 days. Really looking forward to today's meeting in a couple of hours. But also, I need some Cognitive therapy. Trying to get into a outpatient program via my insurance. They refer to being sober without dealing with your underlining issues that got me to run to drugs and booze as being a "Dry Drunk." To stay sober, I know I have more work to do than just not drink.
But if all we do today is not drink, that's ok too. One day at a time. I'm just happy to be on day 3.
Best wish to all of Class and I hope everyone has a wonderful sober day XO
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Congratulations on day 3 BeFree! I too can chime in on losing friends. My best friend knew I was stepping away from alcohol and he was installing a keg. He would get whiskey for his birthday and and I would go home early. Though we had many things in common and cared for each other, I knew I couldn't do recovery around him. Now days we seldom talk, but it still bums me out. Funny how getting into drinking costs relationships and so does getting out. Kinda explains why most of us are very lonely. Thank you all for being here and working recovery with me....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
Hi everyone,
FreedomHorse I noticed today my lawn looks like it needs to be mowed. My neighbor mowed his and it made mine look worse. The only good thing is I don't mow. I don't like heat, bugs or birds diving at me so I have someone else do it. I'm ready for my flowers to bloom
Day 2.
My journals did arrive today and I opened them at lunch so I will start with one of them tonight. I made tuna avocado salad for dinner I am going to eat as soon as I get done here, then do some housework so I can relax a little this weekend. I hope everybody is doing well
Happy Friday
FreedomHorse I noticed today my lawn looks like it needs to be mowed. My neighbor mowed his and it made mine look worse. The only good thing is I don't mow. I don't like heat, bugs or birds diving at me so I have someone else do it. I'm ready for my flowers to bloom
Day 2.
My journals did arrive today and I opened them at lunch so I will start with one of them tonight. I made tuna avocado salad for dinner I am going to eat as soon as I get done here, then do some housework so I can relax a little this weekend. I hope everybody is doing well
Happy Friday
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
Day 6 in the bag now. And what a not-good day it was...I got fired today. And I knew it was coming. It had kind of been coming since the day I was hired, seeing as how I got a referral from my ex-girlfriend's brother-in-law who really had no business recommending me for a job I wasn't qualified for. It had nothing to do with delinquency, and really my drinking was no influence. I just straight-up wasn't qualified for this job.
Anyway, I'm obviously going to have a lot more time at home, to myself, which worries me a bit about drinking. So I'm going to do my utmost to keep me busy. And actually, this job had REALLY been stressing me out, so maybe it's a good thing it's over. Instead of putting myself into a pressure cooker and trying to become sober in that kind of toxic environment, I might just land in a way healthier environment and get sober for real.
At least I didn't drink.
Anyway, I'm obviously going to have a lot more time at home, to myself, which worries me a bit about drinking. So I'm going to do my utmost to keep me busy. And actually, this job had REALLY been stressing me out, so maybe it's a good thing it's over. Instead of putting myself into a pressure cooker and trying to become sober in that kind of toxic environment, I might just land in a way healthier environment and get sober for real.
At least I didn't drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
I'm on my 3rd day now. I've been working - I start early - so I'm a bit tired right now. No urge to drink though and I'm not going to go out again today.
Anyway, should the weekend hold any temptation I hope you can all resist it. I'll do my best over here.
Best wishes.
Anyway, should the weekend hold any temptation I hope you can all resist it. I'll do my best over here.
Best wishes.
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