enfinthechange

Right, I'm 50 days sober and happy with that. .. it's not always easy but mostly is cool, enjoyable and I am grateful. ..
I want to stay sober...
But. ... next week, Monday to Friday, I am the organiser of a trip abroad with 29 other people and the 5 staff who all drink. 2 of them are drinking buddies. .. they both will drink in the evenings and both have been significant triggers in me drinking before. The one lady has been the reason I ditched sobriety twice before after my previous longest stretches, in fact a night at her house precipitated this latest attempt at sober living it was so bad!
Neither are bad people. ...they are lovely, but love alcohol with no concerns, thwy don't see why I should worry, and never want to quit. One of them also smokes...which I gave up too.

We are in remote locations with a bar.... busy full days and relaxed evenings with a bar.....and a vast array of lots of my old favourites. The AV is licking it's lips...

Last year , after 67 days sober, we sat down for supper int he 1st hotel after a long day and a bottle of red was put open in front of me... I drank it, boom. Undone.... carried on for 9 months back to old ways...

I don't want to drink. ... but I am aware I need a robust plan. Concrete ideas please!!!!

Anyone got any suggestions. .. I have to go, and they will be there.

Thanks lovelies!!!

vanaprastha

Check out this post: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

tomls

To me it doesn't sound good. If I could get out of it.I would. If I wanted to stay sober. But that's me.

enfinthechange

Thanks !! Have read and printed them out a few times. ... I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and had advice in what to actually do when there....

AnvilheadII

while you work on your plan, remember this is only a possible drinking event IF YOU have not completely shut the door on drinking again. you ARE in control here. this is not an excuse......unless you let it be.

enfinthechange

I cant tomis, I'm the trip leader, organised it all and they all depend on me.. .. I have taken up crocheting to give my hands something to do..... organised an event for one night to occupy time....

enfinthechange

Oh..it's my birthday too on the Wednesday, usually a drink fest.

enfinthechange

Anvil... I reakon I'm 99.9% confident and sure... but I'll be tired and may let my guard down... they will all be in the happy happy drinks colluding in being naughty kind of mood...as I usually was too. They putting wine in their cases and laughing about it...

biminiblue

Most of the time I find it utterly and completely boring to be around people who have had a few.

Is this strictly a drinking holiday? Or are other things planned? If it's just to hit up the pubs, I wouldn't go - regardless of what anyone else said.

I went on an out-of-country trip with 20 other people for ten days and when they started getting too intoxicated for my comfort, I went to my room. I didn't allow any alcohol in my room. It's not that hard, enfin. Just excuse yourself and go to your room, or go anywhere else at all. No reasons need be given, you just go. You don't have to do everything together.

"See you all later, bye!"

enfinthechange

Think you're right biminiblue. .. I have to put myself 1st and not worry about offending hem. ..I'm sharing a room with one of them for 2 of the nights, but can always go back on my own!
I just got to stop pleasing others all the time.

Dee74

Organiser or not, birthday or not, I still wouldn't go - not this early, and not on what promises to be a boozefest.

I appreciate that's a really hard choice to make but in the early days that's what recovery is about.

If you're committed to going, be equally committed to making a plan - think about likely scenarios you might find yourself in

when others want you to drink, or when you yourself want to drink, how might you handle that?

How might you handle FOMO (fear of missing out)...how can you handle the 'eff its' that may arise?

Are there going to be other sober people?
Can you confide in someone about your problem?

I like sober holidays - I do a lot more and I remember it all.

Just remember you don't have to drink if you don't want to.

Remember it's the first glass that starts the madness not the last...

And remember - there's no such thing as taking a night off from recovery.

D

Gottalife

Sounds like you are determined to go despite the risks. Well, it's your decision.

I once won a trip involving a factory visit in the states followed by a week in Hawaii. I was about five years sober as I recall, and the trip was awarded by my employer. I thought about the nature of the trip, how busy, how tired, I would be, and ended up asking my boss to give it to a workmate.

My sobriety has to always come first.

tomsteve

The one lady has been the reason I ditched sobriety twice before after my previous longest stretches, in fact a night at her house precipitated this latest attempt at sober living it was so bad!
Last year , after 67 days sober, we sat down for supper int he 1st hotel after a long day and a bottle of red was put open in front of me... I drank it, boom. Undone.... carried on for 9 months back to old ways...

....................

Mattq2

I can tell you this. I had a similar situation at two months sober.
First it was far more difficult than I imagined. I had planned it out in my head for days in advance. It still tested me to my core.
Second I could not participate the full duration of the evening events. I had to make up excuses and run for my private room. I was ok once I got to my room alone.
If you have to go you better have a rock solid plan and a place to run to. Just my experience.

least

You seem determined to go. I just hope you don't drink.

tufty13

hi enfin, great to see you.

We know each other well enough by now for me to be blunt and not upset you, right? I hope so.

Firstly, they say the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

You know what happens but you still want to go? Strange behaviour for someone who is desperate to stay sober.

Secondly, for me the bigger issue is that you are even considering going.

Unless you can categorically say to yourself (and believe it wholeheartedly 100%) that you will not drink, then you are leaving the door open to drinking again by going. You know it's a risk but you're taking it anyway. To me that screams danger.

Regardless of whether you drink this time or not, you are doomed to failure unless you close that part of your brain down that persuades you to take such risks.

Ask yourself if it's worth it enfin?

Banish any and all thoughts that you might drink again. Ever. Close all the doors that your AV can find a gap in. And then lock them.

Do you still want to go on the trip?

enfinthechange

I have no choice to go... I'm a teacher, and 24 students who will all be sober are depending one me, I organised the whole thing over the last 18 months, have filled in tonnes of paperwork, spent 18 months having meetings about it, emailing back and forth, arranged the itinerary, food activities, I'm the 1st aider, the person responsible for them all and I carry all the tickets. They have paid a lots of money to go..... it's their trip of a lifetime!
That's why I have to go... now u know.
Teachers seem to drink a lot...the others have been going on about looking forward to their evening drinks , taking wine in luggage etc.
Now , I have never been drunk on a trip, never would ever... but I don't even want to drink responsibly, as I'd have to come home a failure and then the roller coaster begins again. ... holding it together in the week and drinking too much on Fridays/sats/holiday...

So while I am very very aware that no drinking should take place at all...it does, they will and I don't want to. So I won't. ...

but I want to be prepared to face the situation so I don't trust think lalalalalalalaal it will be fine, then it's not!

Thanks for the advice about how to handle it. ... I am going to write a card of what to do and say, just to keep in my purse. I'm going to get on here every evening. ..... I'm going green to talk to home so they can encourage me...

enfinthechange

Any other ideas...

Also...I run the trip every year, it's part of what's expected of me... it takes a monumental effort and a whole wack of time and stress. It's a great opportunity for the students so I do it... but I miss my holiday, my family and could weep with the anxiety and tiredness....
When I started this trip organisation in Sept 2015 I didn't know if be sober now.

enfinthechange

So reading back, basically there's not much hope then is there.... I'm Doomed so it seems....
Hope I can prove u wrong.

enfinthechange

Also they will not be getting really drunk either, not on this trip...just drinking a few in the eve.... maybe they can just do that... but I don't want to open that door.