Red78

We been together 3.5 years..his behaviour was evident after we moved in together after 2 months..i left after 11 months but came back.. I generally only see this behaviour when we have an arguement, which is not that often, maybe once a month or 2..& most likely when we have been drinking, if we havent been drinking it ends a lot faster & is less volatile..actually sometimes not..but mostly..but if drunk the esculate to the point where i promise myself I will leave in the morning cause I dont deserve this but then I dont.. I bottle up my feelings/thoughts with him & cant articulate them well to him..
He mostly treats me very well so its hard to remember the abuse when the good times happen again..

I had an abusive bf years ago & he wasnt nice all of the time..it was easy to know the answer to what to do then but when they are nice most of the time its hard..ive never stuck up for myself or done the right thing by myself at the right time...

Anyway..im day 3 down, in bed & happy to know I wont be hungover or groggy in the morning..
Thanks for your support guys its awesome..

JackDsMissus

Ah I see, yes I see why you're confused (add drinking into the mix and life becomes even more confusing!) When I used to read up about this stuff, I did come across something about people who take offense when there is something wrong with you or if you have a problem (with them or in general). It's like they see you as an extension of themselves and they take it personal if you're not happy for whatever reason. I forget what personality type that particular trait belonged to. I know people don't tend to fit neatly in these boxes anyway and tend to think we are all on some kind of spectrum, it just depends where we fall. So perhaps he just a few traits here and there.

Getting sober and the clarity that will bring will help you figure out what is really going on and what/if you're willing to put up with those moments. Day 3 is a great accomplishment. Keep going and taking care of yourself. x