Michbish

I'm experiencing depression , increased my meds (anti-depressants) but don't know what to do with myself sober..I created self isolation while drinking at home by myself..now just me here in these walls not knowing what to do with myself.

site1Q84

Have you tried signing up for any new classes? Maybe there are some things you enjoyed before you started drinking you could try again?

Honestly, when I feel myself start to isolate, I get up and go for a walk. No matter the time or weather, just get out there be outside in the real world for a few minutes. It helps!

Bobbieka

I kind of started over. I begin my day with prayer. I kept the prayers simple in the beginning. I would pick a 10 min. guided meditation, just really something to create the habit.

I get on SR and reply to many Newcomer posts (like yours).
I attend AA meeting 1 X a week and get involved.
I see therapist 1X a week (down to monthly now)

I started running and listening to sobriety podcasts and sobriety memoirs.

Now I get out the door. I am part of the human race. It took a minute, but I got there. You can too.

Great job getting sober. The depression will get easier to deal with in time. Hugs to you.

Michbish

I am currently taking online classes so I have homework to do..but finding it hard to concentrate

Bobbieka

Can you break it down? Work about 20 minutes - take a break. Something like that. I think you have to retrain your brain. I did. Before, I was just obsessing about the next drink. I had to fill that with other things.

Mklove

I totally understand the feeling of being rather lost without the drinking, time being part of the day and nightly routines. I also take lots of walks like others mentioned, just a change of scenery helped. In the beginning I created a schedule that really helped, filling in blocks to time with reading, walks, visits, etc.
I overdid the planning at first and then felt let down with myself because I didn't achieve all of my plans, not even close. So I got more reasonable and put down things that I would really do. I had to override my tendency to back out of things and made a point to just do what I scheduled, not overthink it. Meetings are perfect as they get you in the motivated mood usually. Congratulations.

Michbish

Thank you I will try these thigs..will check in later 😊

PhoenixJ

Anything and everything. I do stuff differently. Utube- doco's on sobriety, recovery humour, history, science- anything to help. I write, paint- to express how I think and feel so I can reflect and learn. I go to AA, SMART, therapy, sometimes church. I listen carefully to everybody. I question WHY I feel upset at stuff and why. I try to be better as a human- to grow. Every time I get angry- it is an opportunity to learn from that to cope better next time. I shout at god a lot. I help others by listening and doing basic stuff- reminding newbies to put on sunscreen on hot days and to drink water. Remind people how to prepare food. Wash dishes, empty bins, sweep floors. I ask questions. I try not to judge and do anything (sober and safe) new that may help me stay sober. I plan and organise and make decisions. I do not wait for stuff to happen and get/feel better because I do not drink now- that was/is a symptom. I walk- I do anything to grow- especially when I do not want to. I accept and know it will continue to be hard work.
Prayers to you.

Michbish

One more thing..how do you have the courage to face people in your town once attending a public group..this is my hinderance..I'm already disappointment to myself..don't know if I can deal with town gossip at this point.

Jojay

Hi Michbish.Try not to worry about folk gossiping.Hold your head up and go to groups and get out and about in your town.You do not have to answer to anybody!

Hawkeye13

teaching myself guitar, making jewelry, hiking, yoga, and exercise, cooking healthy food, reading for pleasure, watching old movies, purging and cleaning my house, working tabletop puzzles, journaling, outreach for volunteer work in areas I am interested in particularly (women's center, pet rescue) plus a healthy dose of meditation along with unstructured time to sit in the yard or take a walk and just be

don't worry about what people say--as you clean up your life, their focus will quickly shift away from you and towards the next person they can gossip about--
I had great luck just moving forward and not focusing on the past or discussing it with them--I also won't talk about the current person they interchangeably
gossip about--I try to speak only encouraging and positive words to others and accept graciously as I can kind words sent my way--it works

columbus

Ask for guidance per doing "the next right thing."

Open your eyes, look around.

Even if it no more than picking up one sock off the floor and putting it away or carrying it to the laundry, you are DOING something that needs to be done.

And it will grow from there.

biminiblue

I love the saying, "What other people think about me is none of my business."

I mean, it's not like I can 1.) Change the past 2.) Change them 3.) Mind-read.

I know in early sobriety I thought everyone was talking about me too. More than likely they weren't spending part of their day thinking about me, I was the one obsessing.

Keep busy, evict them from your thoughts.

thomas11

Hi Michbish, you concerns and fears are completely normal. You are not the first, not the last person that will have to confront these issues. As far as filling your time, I agree with Phoenix, anything and everything except drinking. Sooner or later something will click.

As far as confronting the townies, when you're ready (which will likely be never) just get out and do it. Its a hurdle you will have to get over. Its not easy, but as I said, many have done it, including myself. The sooner you address it, the sooner it fades and is no longer an issue.

site1Q84

because I know I'm trying to make myself a better person. If someone wants to speak negatively about me for that, then that's their problem, and I feel bad for them for having nothing better to do with their time than judge someone else's life and decisions. On top of that, they're going to be talking about me WAY more if I'm drunk and doing stupid things still. May as well quit and give them new memories to talk to about!

Michbish

Well I got in the shower..put on something besides sweats, put on my make up and went into town..it did feel good not to hurry through the store as I usually did (so I could come home and drink)..thanks for all advice..and I did look up times of AA meetings...some open meetings, some closed meetings...suggestions?

BrendaChenowyth

This is great.

In my early sobriety I tackled a lot of the chores I had been ignoring, I got to the gym more, read more, went to the craft store a bit, got my pathetically neglected hair done, cooked more, ate more lol I found ways to busy myself.. I made to-do lists and enjoyed checking items off. I spent a lot of time here and did a lot of writing. I found guided meditations on youtube.

site1Q84

Nice! It's amazing how good I feel when I just get up, dressed and get out the door. It changes my whole mind set. It's really nice to not rush through things hoping to get home to drink. I walk a lot. Not in a rush, just to enjoy it. It's strange to me how little time I had while I was drinking. I didn't think it took up so much of my life.

When I first when to a meeting I didn't even check if it was open or closed. I just went to see if it helped. If you're worried about it then start with a closed one, which is only for people in active recovery. If you're not worried then it makes no difference. Open meetings are for anyone who is interested in the program, be it friends, family, or people who haven't decided if they want to get clean yet.

thomas11

See, you've already made some progress. Awesome.

hellrzr

Definitely go to more AA meetings. Work the steps and then you can start sponsoring people yourself! Sponsoring people might use up all your free time right there ; ).

It's really tough sometimes. I also drank at home and locked myself inside, in more ways than one. It made it much more difficult to stop but I also went to meetings 5 days a week for the first months and then 4-5 a week after that. I also had a full time job so all that filled up my time. If it wasn't for AA early on I don't think I would have made it at all.