Stay Sober Weekender June 17th......
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
I'm off to a couple of aa meetings. I need them. My brain feels so squirrely.
I want to fix, manage and control everything and everyone. In order to feel secure in my identity and my future. Obviously it's not working bc who can guarantee the future?
I would like to lovingly place my brain in a nice cool bowl of bubbly Palmolive and give it a nice relaxing scrub. Put brain back in my head and be at peace. Bc I can't explain what's going on, it's not anxiety but it's a little noisy in there.
I feel my thoughts are coming from a viewpoint of scarcity, not abundance, and that makes me feel nervous. Makes me compare and judge a lot. I'm checking everyone's outsides and comparing them to my insides.
I could use a little break. And a hug. And about ten more of those chocolate bars with the potato chips in them.
I thought it might help to be honest in case anyone feels the same way or has an idea how to snap out of it.
Xoxo
I want to fix, manage and control everything and everyone. In order to feel secure in my identity and my future. Obviously it's not working bc who can guarantee the future?
I would like to lovingly place my brain in a nice cool bowl of bubbly Palmolive and give it a nice relaxing scrub. Put brain back in my head and be at peace. Bc I can't explain what's going on, it's not anxiety but it's a little noisy in there.
I feel my thoughts are coming from a viewpoint of scarcity, not abundance, and that makes me feel nervous. Makes me compare and judge a lot. I'm checking everyone's outsides and comparing them to my insides.
I could use a little break. And a hug. And about ten more of those chocolate bars with the potato chips in them.
I thought it might help to be honest in case anyone feels the same way or has an idea how to snap out of it.
Xoxo
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
I understand Melina ... unfortunately
To quote Imagine Dragons:
*Trigger warning ... scene with drunk abusive father about 2 minutes in.
To quote Imagine Dragons:
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
So, I decided to take a bicycle ride to try and get out of my head. I rode down to the Delaware river and I see the most beautiful thing over New Jersey ... I know, beautiful and NJ is an oxymoron ... brain will get it. 
I digress, there was a beautiful Strawberry Full Moon coming up, and me without my camera ... when I bring it I don't see anything worth taking a picture of.
At least the ride was enjoyable.
I digress, there was a beautiful Strawberry Full Moon coming up, and me without my camera ... when I bring it I don't see anything worth taking a picture of.
At least the ride was enjoyable.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I wonder if it's the full moon making some of us squirrelly and out of sorts? I'm better than I was earlier in the day, but still unsettled and trying to banish negative thoughts. Earlier I was just feeling so sad and disoriented and scattered.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
((Melina)) Yep...I get it. When I try and make an (my) imperfect world perfect...endlessly trying to control all manner of things I have no business controlling...I end up stressing myself out and making myself more anxious than ever! This is where mindfulness (aka living in the moment) comes in handy. I make a loose plan for the day knowing that however the day ends up is exactly the way it's supposed to be! I'm much more peaceful and relaxed living this way. It takes practice though...lots of practice...but it's so worth it! 
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
By the way Melina, I'm a firm believer we have everything we need within us to move mountains. Fear makes us forget that. Fear makes us cringe at things that aren't real. Take back what's yours...take back those positive, life affirming thoughts! You don't live in scarcity and lack! You have everything you need and more!
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Too late brynn ... unless I can figure out how to time travel. 
I don't know what I would do if I could time travel, I could stop myself from making so many wrongs but then I probably wouldn't end up here with you wonderful people.
I don't know what I would do if I could time travel, I could stop myself from making so many wrongs but then I probably wouldn't end up here with you wonderful people.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Little guy finally zonked out! Auntie brynn is pooped! I have a new respect for all single parents and especially parents of toddlers!
July 4 is in two weeks?! How did that happen so fast? Another sign I'm getting ancient! Time is zooming by at warp speed!
Xo
July 4 is in two weeks?! How did that happen so fast? Another sign I'm getting ancient! Time is zooming by at warp speed!
Xo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
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Amy Lee is a Hometown Girl. Well after my time there among the SoCal Orange Groves, but mebbe it counts anyway... She gotz Pipes...
- 'Bring Me To Life' ~ Evanescence ~ Live -
.
Amy Lee is a Hometown Girl. Well after my time there among the SoCal Orange Groves, but mebbe it counts anyway... She gotz Pipes...
- 'Bring Me To Life' ~ Evanescence ~ Live -
.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
Hi guys. ..no way I can catch up. I hope everyone is doing well.
I went for a long hike this morning. About 4 hours. I haven't done it in quite a while. It was good being way out in nature, very centering. I took one dog and she was good company. I'm going to do it more often. I had my bear attack spray with me...
as a result of the hike, I am delightfully tired tonight. I can't believe I used to hike hungover. ...ugh.
it wI'll be an early night for me.
I went for a long hike this morning. About 4 hours. I haven't done it in quite a while. It was good being way out in nature, very centering. I took one dog and she was good company. I'm going to do it more often. I had my bear attack spray with me...
as a result of the hike, I am delightfully tired tonight. I can't believe I used to hike hungover. ...ugh.
it wI'll be an early night for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Good evening everyone. Strawberry moon? I've never heard of that. How odd. It's gorgeous though. I noticed it earlier when it was low on the horizon.
It's a pretty night out. Cooled off some.
Brain, glad you made it. Dinner sounds lovely.
Marty, I started feeling better once I started reading threads on here and posting with my experience. made me think about stuff I need to think about.
Hi soberpotamus.
HaF, that's a long hike.
It's a pretty night out. Cooled off some.
Brain, glad you made it. Dinner sounds lovely.
Marty, I started feeling better once I started reading threads on here and posting with my experience. made me think about stuff I need to think about.
Hi soberpotamus.
HaF, that's a long hike.
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