How to tell your child.....

[IMCOOLER]

Good evening everyone,
Monday of this week I sent my ex-wife into rehabe for Crystal Meth. Without geting into all the detals of her problems with the drug we have a 6yr old son. He is in both of our lives so much and botrh love him with ALL our hearts. The problem im having is telling him about him mothers problem and where she is right now. She is in a 5 day program which could and hopefully goes longer. How do I tell him is mommy is sick with this problem? ANY help would be wonderful!!

Thank you all,
~Todd

[SysFixer]

Hi there,
I would say for right now, mommy is sick is probably enough. Why confuse a 6 year old about details that he may no understand. As long as he knows that she is safe and is comming home soon he'll probably be OK. As he gets older, if your wife continues to use or relapses, you may have to tell him more, but for now,"mommy is a drug addict" may be too much for him to handle. I have no children but many here do. Wait... someone with more experience will come along soon and post some more advise or just to say WELCOME. Take a look at some of the other threads on this board.LOTS of good stuff and support here.

[Sandy Marie]

Hello IM,
Welcome to SR! I'm sorry to hear about your wife's condition. If you don't feel confident about what to tell your son, call your wife's doctor/nurse/coordinator. They're professionally trained to help you.
Children are at such different levels of maturity, it's hard to know without knowing him firsthand. I certainly wouldn't lump all 6 year old children in the same category. Some are extremely sensitive and others are oblivious to these types of events. I can only guess that your son is more sensitive because he's been around your wife's condition for some time.
Also, we have another forum here for families of users. Maybe you can post there too and get some advice. My prayers are with your wife and your family.
Sandy

[dotcom]

hello todd,

i agree with what they said. i think sometimes a professional can handle these delicate situations much better than us. because they are not emotionally involved and they have worked with many similar situations. as i grew up, i had the sense that my bio parents had been alcoholics (bio dad an addict). kids pick up more than parents think they do. i suggest seeking professional help, and telling your son the truth. even if you dont tell him all at once, the truth is always better. had someone not told me i was adopted and why and then i found out from another family member id have been pretty hurt. its a difficult situation, no real "right" answer.

hugs,

dot