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I'm extremely anxious and nervous

Old 10-04-2015, 09:46 PM
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I'm extremely anxious and nervous

For those who haven't seen my other thread. I just started a new college and this past week has been very hectic. I didn't stop smoking weed or drinking alcohol until this last week, I've got 3 days clean so far.

I came home for the weekend because I needed to get the rest of my things. I did some of my work but probably not as much as I should have. I had to gather my things and buy some stuff from the stores this weekend, and I have been trying to make sure my checklist is completed.

Long story short, today wasn't a great day starting with the morning. It was just one of those off days where I woke up with that feeling in my gut where I feel like I'm doomed. I went for a run as soon as I got up, but I was so sore from working out these past few days that I had to cut it shorter than I wanted. I didn't get around to my math homework until a few hours ago and I just don't understand it I guess.

This has escalated my anxiety, I guess you would call it. Now I really can't get anything done, and my mind is racing. My assignment isn't due until Tuesday but I thought I had this anxiety thing mastered already. Everytime I work out I feel better, so I thought I would be able to have that under control by simply working out. I guess that's not the case because today just hasn't been right.

So now I'm very worried because I have a lot on the line with this school thing. I signed a 6 month lease and if I can't pass my classes then I don't have funding to pay this lease. It's one thing to not understand the math, but it is another thing to have these days of feeling that impending doom that rob me of my studies. They all add up and I'm freaking out to say the least. I really am tempted to smoke some pot to help ease this but I know that I shouldn't. I need to just take a deep breath and relax but I feel like I can't.

I didn't know what to do so I got on here and just started typing. I need some support from someone.
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Old 10-04-2015, 10:27 PM
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Hi!!
I'm a student too so I understand the pressure!!! (((Hug)))
Try not to panic, you're thinking too far ahead and about too many things at once, try grabbing a tea, watch something easy and amusing ( I suggest louis ck comedy stand up on youtube)
then settle in to do a little homework, but don't fret about it, just methodically focus on the work and do a little at a time, don't think about funding, the lease etc.
If you do think about, immediately start thinking about something positive, keep doing this :-)
I hope this helps, its what I do.

I start thinking about school, work, getting new clients; then what if I don't get new clients?- I can't pay tuition then,
my car is going to break soon and I don't have enough for a new one, then I can't work or pay tuition, I'll fail uni......on and on.

I know how you feel xo
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Old 10-04-2015, 10:40 PM
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Sorry your having some anxiety issues Soberish .

I agree with Jsbodhi . Too much apprehensive thinking can cause that feeling of impending doom . I love the AA slogan " easy does it " .
Your seeing life without alcohol and weed which is life on life's terms .
The longer you are without substances the easier it will get but as I say easy does it .
Good luck
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Old 10-04-2015, 10:44 PM
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Congratulations on your three days.

Love in sobriety
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Old 10-04-2015, 11:15 PM
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Inhale...

Exhale...

You're doing fine. It will be good! You've got this.
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Old 10-04-2015, 11:33 PM
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I felt this way every single time I ever stopped. Despite any or no outside pressure, I felt that way. The only way I got it to stop was to stop starting again.
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Old 10-05-2015, 12:09 AM
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Us alcoholics have a bizarre kind of 'perfectionism' that we can allow to ruin pretty much anything. It goes something like this... "If it ain't perfect, f**k it."

I can just imagine that to-do list. I'm suspecting it was a perfectionists list. Like what the perfect student would get done. And then, because of a couple of things not being ticked off, you're getting ready to write everything off.

Cutting your run short sounds sensible - no runner needs injuries. You can build back up in the week when you're feeling less sore.

Okay - so maybe you didn't understand the assignment. When I think back to how I felt at 3 days sober, I can honestly say that there were a lot of things I struggled with, which I would usually sail through. The head-fog will pass. You will be fine. They wouldn't have given you a place on the course if you couldn't do it. Have you spoken to anyone about it? Another student or a tutor? (I'm guessing not, because we're pretty rubbish at asking for help or admitting when we're struggling).

I'm not sure why you'd think that you'd master the anxiety thing in 3 days. Give yourself a break. It sounds like you're putting yourself through a lot of pain by projecting and trying to deal with the future. Just try to focus on now. The chores you need to do now. Staying sober now. And maybe accept that in your first sober week you're not going to be as productive as usual. This will pass though.
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Old 10-05-2015, 12:31 AM
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Hey Soberish

I remember that kind of panic well - it kinda snowballs with all the what ifs...it's pretty normal for a student to feel that way, especially if you have performance based funding, and especially if you're in the first 3 days of trying to stay clean and sober...

Everything's going to be ok

you're obviously no slouch in the academic department, and things will soon be a lot better regarding your motivation and concentration too.

Try and stay calm and maybe tonight or tomorrow after a good nights rest you can get a fresh sheet of paper and brainstorm a little - work out a programme/timetable for getting your assignment done.

the worst thing you could do is smoke man. That's a good way to achieve nothing - and you'll kick your anxiety up another notch when the high wears off.

D
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Old 10-05-2015, 01:17 AM
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Thank you all so much!

After I posted this, I immediately threw my workout gear on and ran outside my door and kept going until I couldn't any more, then I stopped and caught my breath and did it again. It really helped by my shin started to really hurt again. I don't think I can run for 2 or 3 days, but maybe I can do some other form of exercise. No pain no gain I suppose. I just got back to my room, took a couple hours to get here.

I have seen some Louis ck comedy before, he has a pretty good sense of humor. I usually digest my work as you suggested but I already feel slightly behind so it started to get at me when I couldn't figure out the first problem lol.

I did ask the instructor about tutoring the other day because I knew I was going to need it. He basically paused and said I should see him after class, then when I saw him he said I sounded like I was uncomfortable there LOL. I was like, because I asked for tutoring? I told him that I was just trying to find all my resources for help and he basically said there is no specific tutoring for this class in particular, and that I need to start socializing and pairing up with classmates. I already know this and thats my plan. I find that hard to believe that there is no tutoring so I emailed my advising counselor to see if she would know if there was any.

As for my list of things, it was pretty perfect lol. As far as my checklist goes, I guess I did end up getting a good amount accomplished this weekend. I guess I thought I had this anxiety mastered because as soon as I started feeling down the past few days, I ended up working out and it was instant relief. Today was not the case.

I didn't smoke because your right Dee, it'll just be worse after the high goes away. Anyways, I'm off to bed you SR, thank you all again for the support tonight. Four days tomorrow!
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Old 10-05-2015, 01:32 AM
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Goodnight.

It might be worth considering additional ways to dealing with anxiety (other than exercise) as you could end up injuring yourself. Also, if you get sick or are anxious in an environment where going for a workout isn't an option it would be good to have another fall back. A big part of recovery is building up your armoury, so that you have a variety of tools at your disposal. The work-out idea is great as one tool, but pain doesn't necessarily equate to 'gain' - especially shins (or knees) as I also found out in uni - although I was drinking plenty as well at that time. I remember reading in a Runners World article that there was a prison where they didn't allow addicts to run, because they tended to constantly injure themselves by going too hard and too fast, seeking that runners euphoria. Not that I'm saying stop. Just that it might be worth keeping an eye on it and having other alternative ways of dealing with anxiety.

I hope you get to know some good people on your course soon. If there are any mature students they could be a good option. They're less likely to be into the big party-scene or drinking-based socialising, and take the studies pretty seriously so will be happy to talk about that rather than just the fun chats.

And well done on 4 days tomorrow
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Old 10-05-2015, 01:35 AM
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3 Days is early days, it's alright to feel how you're feeling right now, but I assure you as more time passes, as the body heals, your mind adjusts away from needing alcohol, as emotions and feelings level out, your energy increases you're not going to feel the same way.

Remember that Sobriety is a journey, we're not going to feel tip top straight away or have everything figured out immediately, soo keep breathing and take a step back.

You've achieved 3 Days, build on that, remember that this is the beginning of building the life you want, and with alcohol out of the picture it's yours for the taking!!
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Old 10-05-2015, 02:11 AM
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wow. Your so not alone my friend. I get those feelings in my gut too. Sucks! When it used to happen at work, I would tell myself, "Dangit, there's that gall dang gut feel again". I would take it to my co-workers and ask them for help. I think you are doing great by getting on here and writing. Someone is always here to read it. (Dee never sleeps!)
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Old 10-05-2015, 08:26 AM
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I wish I had a different outlet for anxiety contol but am not really sure of what else to do other than post here and work out. Maybe you guys have some suggestions for me?

Once it gets going and it starts to escalate, it escalate pretty quick for me. I now have 4 days sober so thats good. I just text messaged a guy from class to see if he had any time to study after class today, we'll see wht happens. I'm hoping to talk to someone else in class today as well and see if they would like to study. At this point it could be anyone, I just need some study time with someone.

So far I'm ok but if I start reading that book again I might just psych myself out again...
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Old 10-05-2015, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Soberish View Post
I wish I had a different outlet for anxiety contol but am not really sure of what else to do other than post here and work out. Maybe you guys have some suggestions for me?
counseling and meditation have been really helpful to me.
also; distance running.

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Old 10-05-2015, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Soberish View Post
I wish I had a different outlet for anxiety contol but am not really sure of what else to do other than post here and work out. Maybe you guys have some suggestions for me?

Once it gets going and it starts to escalate, it escalate pretty quick for me. I now have 4 days sober so thats good. I just text messaged a guy from class to see if he had any time to study after class today, we'll see wht happens. I'm hoping to talk to someone else in class today as well and see if they would like to study. At this point it could be anyone, I just need some study time with someone.

So far I'm ok but if I start reading that book again I might just psych myself out again...
Oh yes I know the newly sober anxiety, it will get better with more sober time. Also it seems you have a priority checklist so methodically checking off item by item may help? Dont look ahead on the list until you have done step 1? Mindfulness helps with anxiety but dont want to add to your stress now to read up on it, just file for later. Is there a student medical center that you can check in with? They usually have lots of resources too.

Best to you, you can do it! Step by step.
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Old 10-05-2015, 10:00 AM
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Congrats on 3 days
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Old 10-05-2015, 10:19 AM
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I've been through this before and it has taken me some time to get back to normal. I just finished reading most of the material the instructor is going to cover however I am back to feeling shakey, I almost literally can feel my hands shaking while I try to read through my material.

I'm a nervous wreck right now, but on the positive note my academic counselor got back to me about math tutoring so I will check it out. My instructor said the tutors don't specifically help with this math however, but hopefully they do. I must hope for the best.

My classmate hasn't responded to my text yet, and class is in 45 minutes so who knows. I guess I'll try and ask someone else if they can study today and check out the tutoring. I can't just roll over and let everything pass me by, I must try my best to move forward even with all this shakiness.

I like the checklist idea, it feels good to scribble things off. I'm sure the school has some student medical center but I don't think anyone can really get my mind back to normal, I think it just takes time.

Anyhow, heading to class, I'll message back later because I feel that I'm really going to need it.
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Old 10-05-2015, 01:04 PM
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I read all through the chapter the instructor was going to finish up because he ran out of time last week and he ended up jumping into the next chapter after the first 5 minutes! The classmate I texted earlier didn't message me back or acknowledge me in class so I tried to talk to another guy about studying together and possibly getting a study group going. He said he was kind of lazy and recommended I start a facebook page for that lol, then he literally just got up and sat in a whole different part of the class. Very rude but whatever, thats not my problem.

I'm going to talk to my academic advisor about switching this class for yet another easier class I checked out last week. I already made this choice for another class I was taking and now I'm going to try and do it again. I feel halfway like a failure for doing this because taking 3 easy classes just isn't my style. But I gotta bite the bullet and do what I have to do, its sink or swim and this class will make me sink.

It's my first quarter and I'm trying to settle in to a new place, gather all my personal belongings, make a new campus my home, take this hard class that I've already fell behind in, and get my mind in tact after quitting. Its a lot to take in and I think I gotta do what I gotta do, I only get this chance once and I have to do whatever it takes not to blow this opportunity.

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Old 10-05-2015, 01:46 PM
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Your doing well you have us itl be ok
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Old 10-05-2015, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberish View Post
I read all through the chapter the instructor was going to finish up because he ran out of time last week and he ended up jumping into the next chapter after the first 5 minutes! The classmate I texted earlier didn't message me back or acknowledge me in class so I tried to talk to another guy about studying together and possibly getting a study group going. He said he was kind of lazy and recommended I start a facebook page for that lol, then he literally just got up and sat in a whole different part of the class. Very rude but whatever, thats not my problem.

I'm going to talk to my academic advisor about switching this class for yet another easier class I checked out last week. I already made this choice for another class I was taking and now I'm going to try and do it again. I feel halfway like a failure for doing this because taking 3 easy classes just isn't my style. But I gotta bite the bullet and do what I have to do, its sink or swim and this class will make me sink.

It's my first quarter and I'm trying to settle in to a new place, gather all my personal belongings, make a new campus my home, take this hard class that I've already fell behind in, and get my mind in tact after quitting. Its a lot to take in and I think I gotta do what I gotta do, I only get this chance once and I have to do whatever it takes not to blow this opportunity.

You are becoming sober, moved to new place and school........taking easier classes until you settle in seems wise, not lazy.
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