Class of August 2015
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 277
Thank you all for helping me stay sober this evening. I made it to bed and am hoping not to experience the insomnia that others are struggling with. Hoping to just read the forum and go to sleep in about a half hour or so. Good night everyone, and have a great sober Monday!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I hope you take this post in the sprit it's intended BBF 
I really had to stop and look at how much effort I put into my drinking - including keeping it secret suffering the embarrassment, the lies, the ill health, the beating myself up...
and then look at how much work I put into my recovery.
Once I started to focus on the latter more and more, I really started to get somewhere, y'know?
There's no reason at all why you can't do this BBF.
Think about what's holding you back from a permanent commitment to recovery maybe?
D
I really had to stop and look at how much effort I put into my drinking - including keeping it secret suffering the embarrassment, the lies, the ill health, the beating myself up...
and then look at how much work I put into my recovery.
Once I started to focus on the latter more and more, I really started to get somewhere, y'know?
There's no reason at all why you can't do this BBF.
Think about what's holding you back from a permanent commitment to recovery maybe?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Good morning,
Welcome blackbird and Allyn,
Just checking in before I start my Monday. Some discussions have been going on about sweets and sleep?
I too, have always craved sweets and find it more so now that i am trying to quit drinking. It is tough to control. Dieting and getting sober at the same time is very difficult!
As far as sleep.....I have never slept well. When I am not drinking it is a bit better only in the sense that I do not pass out and wake up with the guilt and panic attacks of thinking " what did I do?" "Does my family know?" Without that I can sometimes get back to sleep. It takes time to get into better sleeping patterns.
Welcome to anyone else I missed and we can all do this together!!!
Have a safe n sober Monday!!!
Welcome blackbird and Allyn,
Just checking in before I start my Monday. Some discussions have been going on about sweets and sleep?
I too, have always craved sweets and find it more so now that i am trying to quit drinking. It is tough to control. Dieting and getting sober at the same time is very difficult!
As far as sleep.....I have never slept well. When I am not drinking it is a bit better only in the sense that I do not pass out and wake up with the guilt and panic attacks of thinking " what did I do?" "Does my family know?" Without that I can sometimes get back to sleep. It takes time to get into better sleeping patterns.
Welcome to anyone else I missed and we can all do this together!!!
Have a safe n sober Monday!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 754
I totally used wine to fall asleep and stay asleep. I have had enough day 1's to know that it will take some time for my good sleep to return. I was a clock watcher last night. All night. Very strange dreams during the moments of sleep. Lots of prayers during the moments of wakefulness.
Drinking coffee on the deck now. It's going to be a good day!
Saying prayers for the whole class...
Drinking coffee on the deck now. It's going to be a good day!
Saying prayers for the whole class...
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
Good morning, all. Still feeling pretty crappy this AM... not hungover anymore but still... just meh. I'm guessing it's mostly from lack of good sleep this past weekend. So working at home today rather than going into the office. Nobody needs to be around miserable me today. Have my coffee!
I hope you all have a great day!!
upontheroof - great job making it through the weekend!
I hope you all have a great day!!
upontheroof - great job making it through the weekend!
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Good morning August!
Here's hoping to all who have joined the August 2015 class or re-engaged from previous classes that this will be the start of a lifetime of sobriety this time.
As our moderators keep trying to reinforce to us all, we need to have a plan, and then we need to execute the plan. Make it happen this time, you know deep inside you can do this.
Carpe Diem!
Here's hoping to all who have joined the August 2015 class or re-engaged from previous classes that this will be the start of a lifetime of sobriety this time.
As our moderators keep trying to reinforce to us all, we need to have a plan, and then we need to execute the plan. Make it happen this time, you know deep inside you can do this.
Carpe Diem!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 277
Good morning to everyone here! I tossed and turned for a while last night, too, but even without a good night's sleep, I feel better this morning for not having the hangover. Time to get up and get ready for work.
Fortunately, this week my boss is away on vacation so I can have an off day and not have it be too obvious. I have no idea what detox is going to do to me this time around, but I hope it won't be too awful. We'll see.
Wishing everyone the best of sober days today. The class of August is gonna kick butt!
Fortunately, this week my boss is away on vacation so I can have an off day and not have it be too obvious. I have no idea what detox is going to do to me this time around, but I hope it won't be too awful. We'll see.
Wishing everyone the best of sober days today. The class of August is gonna kick butt!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 78
Monday afternoon here and checking in. Had a bit of issue with husband over something totally unrelated to drinking and I am pretty annoyed about it. Didnt sleep great last night cos of it. Just something he said really irritated me and I can't really get it out of my head now. But despite all that I genuinely feel very different this time than any previous time. This is it for me and it really is for me. I had been a little concerned I was only doing it for my husband and our small kids. But something just clicked in last night that this is all for me.
I think so much of it is habit for me. It is hard to imagine a Friday night without downing a bottle of wine.. and more. I have it built into my head that is how to distress and relax. But I do think once I go a few Friday nights doing something different that it will be easier to forget about it.
Last Friday night we had 2 episodes of acts series we were watching recorded including the finale. We had been waiting all week. Finally got kids off to bed and sat down. Him with his tea and goodies me with my wine. I wax asleep within about 45 minutes. I had started supping the wine in between putting them to bed and then downed a glass in about 20 mins when sitting with him.
It is like water to me once I start. I ruined our much anticipated night. It may sound silly as it wasn't exactly a big exciting night but it's what we enjoy. I have ruined probably hundreds of Friday nights in a similar way.
I'm trying to be honest here as denial is a factor for me and the fact is I cannot handle drink once I start. I am a selfish obsessed person when I do take it. There are no good night's with it anymore. Just one is pointless. Even a few is pointless as I would just always want more more more.
I am done with that. I am over it. Waste of my time. Time spent planning thinking wondering about it. Passing out on couch. My husband said to me once that he felt lonely when I would be passed on on the couch beside him. His wife is gone. That was years ago and I still didn't stop. He sure isnt perfect but he doesn't deserve lots of lonely night because of me. The guilt I am hoping will pass in time.
Phew sorry this was so long. I needed to get it all out!
I think so much of it is habit for me. It is hard to imagine a Friday night without downing a bottle of wine.. and more. I have it built into my head that is how to distress and relax. But I do think once I go a few Friday nights doing something different that it will be easier to forget about it.
Last Friday night we had 2 episodes of acts series we were watching recorded including the finale. We had been waiting all week. Finally got kids off to bed and sat down. Him with his tea and goodies me with my wine. I wax asleep within about 45 minutes. I had started supping the wine in between putting them to bed and then downed a glass in about 20 mins when sitting with him.
It is like water to me once I start. I ruined our much anticipated night. It may sound silly as it wasn't exactly a big exciting night but it's what we enjoy. I have ruined probably hundreds of Friday nights in a similar way.
I'm trying to be honest here as denial is a factor for me and the fact is I cannot handle drink once I start. I am a selfish obsessed person when I do take it. There are no good night's with it anymore. Just one is pointless. Even a few is pointless as I would just always want more more more.
I am done with that. I am over it. Waste of my time. Time spent planning thinking wondering about it. Passing out on couch. My husband said to me once that he felt lonely when I would be passed on on the couch beside him. His wife is gone. That was years ago and I still didn't stop. He sure isnt perfect but he doesn't deserve lots of lonely night because of me. The guilt I am hoping will pass in time.
Phew sorry this was so long. I needed to get it all out!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 78
Also I am working on a plan. It involves participating here honestly a lot more.
Beginning an exercise regime. Possibly couch to 5k running plan.
Take better care of myself. Not easy with 3 small kids but definitely manageable.
Eat better
Forget the past. Do not dwell on my childhood yes things were not great and people let me down but I sure as hell won't do it to my kids.
My plan for Friday night is to get a nice non alcoholic drink. Maybe like schloer.
That is it for the moment at least.
Beginning an exercise regime. Possibly couch to 5k running plan.
Take better care of myself. Not easy with 3 small kids but definitely manageable.
Eat better
Forget the past. Do not dwell on my childhood yes things were not great and people let me down but I sure as hell won't do it to my kids.
My plan for Friday night is to get a nice non alcoholic drink. Maybe like schloer.
That is it for the moment at least.
Last edited by Willow3; 08-03-2015 at 06:57 AM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 29
Hi all.
Today, 8-3-15, is day 1 for me. Again.
I had about 4.5 months alcohol free at the start of this year, but then decided to do more "research." I'm not going to lie, at first it was fun. I was kind of relived to have the option to drink and get drunk back in my life. That feeling of fun and relief lasted about a month or so. Then it started being a struggle again. I tried to set limits but couldn't keep them. Still, I wasn't ready to stop altogether. The last month with alcohol has been no fun at all. I feel terrible all the time--exhausted, dehydrated, bloated, ashamed. I wake up resolved to stop but by the afternoon I soften. I think "Hey, I might be overreacting a bit here. Just relax and have a drink." I don't start drinking until the evening but it's that moment in the afternoon where my brain switches over. Next thing I know, I'm waking up hungover again and depressed.
Something changed in the last few days, though. I'm ready to stop. Last week I knew I needed to stop but I wasn't ready and wasn't willing to go back to AA. Now I want to stop and would be thrilled to go back to AA. I just want to be done with this ****. It's ruining my life.
Today, 8-3-15, is day 1 for me. Again.
I had about 4.5 months alcohol free at the start of this year, but then decided to do more "research." I'm not going to lie, at first it was fun. I was kind of relived to have the option to drink and get drunk back in my life. That feeling of fun and relief lasted about a month or so. Then it started being a struggle again. I tried to set limits but couldn't keep them. Still, I wasn't ready to stop altogether. The last month with alcohol has been no fun at all. I feel terrible all the time--exhausted, dehydrated, bloated, ashamed. I wake up resolved to stop but by the afternoon I soften. I think "Hey, I might be overreacting a bit here. Just relax and have a drink." I don't start drinking until the evening but it's that moment in the afternoon where my brain switches over. Next thing I know, I'm waking up hungover again and depressed.
Something changed in the last few days, though. I'm ready to stop. Last week I knew I needed to stop but I wasn't ready and wasn't willing to go back to AA. Now I want to stop and would be thrilled to go back to AA. I just want to be done with this ****. It's ruining my life.
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