Nari

After living with my amazing boyfriend for a year, I discovered that he is an alcoholic. I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. When I say that he is amazing I mean it! I met him in Boston, where I'm from. we decided to move to Miami where he is from. During the time we were in Boston, he wasn't drinking at all. He couldn't, because he was on probation. I knew all about it. I also knew that he has had three DUI. That along should had been a hint, but I didn't get it. I'm really scare, because I left a whole life behind to come here with him. Now, I don't even have a job. I also don't want to leave him, but I have a fourteen year old daughter that should not be exposed to this.
Any body has any advice?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Nari

I'm a big believer in kids come first.

If you believe she'd be better off in Boston, then that should be a big factor in your decision, IMO..

I know you'll find help and support here

D

Saskia

Welcome, Nari. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Your first priorities need to be your daughter and yourself. Your boyfriend needs to make his own changes and needs to want to change - you can't do it for him.

Soberwolf

Welcome Nari

NestWasEmpty

Nari ,You found a good place to get some answers , search some threads & posts . Others hear are dealing with some the same issues . Your not alone
Do you have any family or friends in Boston that will help you ? Let you & your daughter stay till you get on your feet . If it's getting real bad maybe find a woman's shelter ..Now - than work on what you need to do .
It would be better than staying in that kind of situation

IOAA2

Hi.
From experiences encounter over the years I suggest putting on your running shoes. Harsh? Yep! Your BF may be an alcoholic and we are the toughest people to treat for long term recovery as this disease is so complex.
A good start for you is the protection of your daughter and yourself.
I suggest reading the forum on this site “Friends and Families.” By way of forums at the top of the page.

Another very helpful for millions is Al Anon meetings in your area for face to face support.

BE WELL

Hawkeye13

You are right about protecting your daughter first--she has no choice and growing up in an alcoholic home is very damaging.

Unfortunately, you can't "make" him stop drinking, so getting away seems the only option from my perspective both as a former alcoholic and a child of an alcoholic--

countrygirl2014

Thank you for this post.

Jennifer

Anna

I'm sorry this is happening Nari, but you must put your fourteen year old daughter first and foremost.

thomas11

HI Nari, this may not be the answer you are looking for, but the wonderful thing about being an adult is that we can do anything we want. And sometimes in having that privilege, we make decisions that we may regret or cause problems in the future. I think that is your situation. Not saying you regret your decision, but it is creating some problems. And based on your own words, you had some warning signs that you ignored. I feel for ya, I really do. But I think you have some tough choices that lie ahead. And making it even more difficult is that you are 1500 miles away from home. I wish you the best, you'll make it.

Get that daughter protected.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Nari!!

ccam1973

Welcome Nari. Like others have said, I would put your daughter first in your thinking.

Be well, we are here for you.