JerryFish

I'm drinking but I'll be fine. Doubt if I'll remember this. But I'll be fine.

ScottFromWI

Get some water and some rest Jerry. No need to start another thread on this topic. Tomorrow will be a tough day.

Dee74

As long as you keep up with your recovery you will be fine Jerry
go get some rest. We'll be here tomorrow

D

thomas11

As Dee mentioned, we'll be here tomorrow waiting for you to check in. Hope its bedtime for you about now.

Angie247

I hope that you drink some water and can get some rest tonight.

MythOfSisyphus

Start again tomorrow, JF.

RDBplus3

oh jerry, jerry, jerry

I ranted a lot of B/S while drinking (40 years), especially when the end came ... then came the Pitiful & Incomprehensible Demoralization ... then FINALLY came complete surrender
... then came the MIRACLE of getting completely FREE ... it is a WONDERFUL place to be ... Happy, Joyous and FREE.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2

BringingBackB

Get yourself some rest Jerry and come back to us tomorrow.

Much love,
B

Angie247

How are you doing, Jerry?

JerryFish

The hangover was horrible. It lasted all day yesterday. My tolerance it not what it used to be. I'm still not feeling well.

Thanks for everyone who helped. Time to get back on track. By taking some more rest and getting some food...

Soberwolf

Glad your back JF

Dee74

Good to see you return Jerry

D

JerryFish

I'm finding it hard to take a rest at the moment. My "coming down from a binge anxiety" is quite heavy. Plus I'm upset with myself. Which I shouldn't be.

Today I will look into what happened exactly that lead me to relapse out of nowhere. Sometimes something that seems like it can out of nowhere is actually driven by something you've overlooked. Now that I look at it, there was an intensity behind my sobriety. Some intensity is good, but it was too much. It subtly built up stress.

My response to stress is often depression. And when I chose to drink, I felt depressed. Burnt-out. No energy to keep the intensity going. And I fell for the "one last time" thing, which is just an excuse. In reality, I'd given up. On everything. Didn't care anymore. Which is often what happens to me after too much stress.

Ok, time to examine it and see what I can do about it. I don't know if I'll end up in contemplation on my own or if I will be posting about it here. But I'm working on it.

JerryFish

Dee, you're a genius. I mean it. You often post quick replies to people, and sometimes more elaborate. But those quick replies are more brilliant than maybe even you realize. The long ones as well btw.

I read this and my response was: "No matter what, I will stay here. I will get sober." I'm imagining my post saying that I'm one year sober already.

My guess is that you've done this for so long that you're very good at being in tune with the person you're talking to and responding to it in a way that they need.

Thanks a lot man! They should pay you abundantly for this. Not even kidding. You're saving lives. Ever considered being a counselor?

BringingBackB

Glad to hear you sounding so positive JF.

I am looking forward to those milestones too. Don't want to overload myself but I will feel so proud of myself when I can post that I've been sober for a month

Hopefully you will have learned something from this lapse which you can add to your plan!

B

Dee74

Thanks for the kind words Jerry

My forte is the written word tho - I'm very glad I stumbled into SR when I did, for a whole multitude of reasons....

D

JerryFish

You know, I love those milestones. Even 1 week was great! Which is why I like counting.

Sometimes people say that they reward themselves at a milestone. Which is great! To me, the milestones are the reward themselves.

I'm still looking into things and am learning. It's a bit of a tricky thing. I need to face things that I don't want to face and had repressed nicely somewhere. I didn't even know I had done it.

With them there, my life will be affected by them though. And it's a trigger for drinking. But I need to deal with them. Fortunately I've had so many years of great therapy that I have all the tools to work on them.

The tricky part is that when I face them, I feel like drinking. But I must get it resolved, otherwise I will probably relapse again and again.

My current, short-term plan is this: if I can solve them with the tools that I have this weekend, it's ok. Otherwise the first thing I will do on Monday is call my doctor, Then it's evident that I need some guidance.

Trust. That is what I do have. I know it can be dealt with. And I will be alright.

JerryFish

The written word is a very strong point of yours indeed. And it feels like you're very happy helping people here.

NestWasEmpty

This is Definitely true for me as Well . Even after 2 years - I have to be on guard when stressed .
It's tough ( I know ) but it is doable With finding SR it's helping me . Stick close to SR Jerry - Glad you figured it out !

JerryFish

If you don't mind, how do you deal with it? You have 2 years sober and know what to do when stressed. Any tips?