Class of May 2015 (Part 2)
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 46
Eliasson - Don't beat yourself up. You were prioritizing and making a sober decision. AND you did not buy the wine! I like to put something cold on my eyes when I'm like that - cucumber, witch hazel on a cold, wet towel? and just breathe. Maybe your son will be home and tell you about the performance and you will be fully present for him - that's my wish for you!
MayKay - I hope you have wonderful camping trip and catch lots of fish
I counted my days sober beginning on the first 24hrs without alcohol. May 19 - election day here. I elected not to drink.
Also, I will have to figure out the "chats". But not today. I put the car in reverse instead of drive twice today - brain fog!
MayKay - I hope you have wonderful camping trip and catch lots of fish
I counted my days sober beginning on the first 24hrs without alcohol. May 19 - election day here. I elected not to drink.
Also, I will have to figure out the "chats". But not today. I put the car in reverse instead of drive twice today - brain fog!
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Site1Q84--I just added your namesake book to my Kindle, going to make it one of my vacation reads week after next. I've really enjoyed the Murakami I've read previously. And this time I'll be sober so maybe I'll be able to fully comprehend him!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 884
Eliasson, I think Casey's advice is right on the mark. Early recovery is a ridiculous emotional roller coaster. You didn't buy the wine. Definitely a win. Sounds like you've got some heavy situations you are dealing with. We definitely have your back. Do something nice for yourself. Perhaps a hot bath and some tea.
Welcome kgr! Grab a seat and enjoy the ride. Post often!
I'm usually the opposite when it comes to eating everything in sight. My addictions cycle between alcohol, drugs, and then anorexia. I typically have to force myself to eat after I cut out both drugs and drinking. I've got control issues I think. I have been craving junk this time around though.
I ended up not taking that drive. I was getting antsy so I'm up at my mom's office while she works. Keeping myself accountable.
Welcome kgr! Grab a seat and enjoy the ride. Post often!
I'm usually the opposite when it comes to eating everything in sight. My addictions cycle between alcohol, drugs, and then anorexia. I typically have to force myself to eat after I cut out both drugs and drinking. I've got control issues I think. I have been craving junk this time around though.
I ended up not taking that drive. I was getting antsy so I'm up at my mom's office while she works. Keeping myself accountable.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Copper- I love that you change your plan, just like that. We all really have to be fluid in what's working at that exact moment for us, and always have to have a plan B. So I love that you already have that figured out! That part took me a few tries haha
Eliasson- I think figuring out coping skills, real ones, not drinking, is going to be so difficult. It's like I stopped growing emotionally when I started drinking, and now I have some SERIOUS catching up to do! Even just recognizing what emotion I'm feeling has been hard, but it's getting easier every time! You might want to look into mindfulness/mediation. I only do it for a few minutes at a time, but when I start getting overwhelmed emotionally (Anger, fear, sadness, etc.) it really gives me a minute to stop and figure out what I'm actually feeling and why
Eliasson- I think figuring out coping skills, real ones, not drinking, is going to be so difficult. It's like I stopped growing emotionally when I started drinking, and now I have some SERIOUS catching up to do! Even just recognizing what emotion I'm feeling has been hard, but it's getting easier every time! You might want to look into mindfulness/mediation. I only do it for a few minutes at a time, but when I start getting overwhelmed emotionally (Anger, fear, sadness, etc.) it really gives me a minute to stop and figure out what I'm actually feeling and why
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Thank you so much to all of you. I'm so happy I didn't buy the wine, that was huge for me, and I'm so grateful to have somewhere to go with all of this. And yes, when my son gets home I will be sober and able to be fully present with him. And I'll remember our conversation tomorrow. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: STL
Posts: 388
I have had so so so many conversations with my daughter that I don't remember. I feel so bad for it. It means a lot to me that I am present and listening to her and I remember it the next day.
I think about that every day and it helps me stay sober. I just don't want to put her through that anymore. She is old enough now that she recognizes it. I don't want her to grow up and remember me that way.
I think about that every day and it helps me stay sober. I just don't want to put her through that anymore. She is old enough now that she recognizes it. I don't want her to grow up and remember me that way.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 884
Originally Posted by site1Q84 
Copper- I love that you change your plan, just like that. We all really have to be fluid in what's working at that exact moment for us, and always have to have a plan B. So I love that you already have that figured out! That part took me a few tries haha
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Doing the same. It's been a nice, calm day here at La Casa de Casey. Going to put on a movie and try to wind down. Thank you everyone who posted today. You've helped keep me on the right path one more day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 200
Day 16: Nutinfancy
I skipped posting yesterday because I was busy, not because I broke. Survived day 15.
Gonna start the day with a 5 mile local race, continue on to the pool with the kids, maybe do some target shooting later on.
Have a nice weekend.
Good luck to all.
4
I skipped posting yesterday because I was busy, not because I broke. Survived day 15.
Gonna start the day with a 5 mile local race, continue on to the pool with the kids, maybe do some target shooting later on.
Have a nice weekend.
Good luck to all.
4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,446
A beautiful sober Saturday morning! Off to the hardware store and garden center to beat the crowd after I have some coffee.
Had some AV thoughts yesterday. They started as "what ifs?", like what if someone hands me a beer without asking? I had myself visualize those words coming from someone else, and ending it pretty quickly.
Had some AV thoughts yesterday. They started as "what ifs?", like what if someone hands me a beer without asking? I had myself visualize those words coming from someone else, and ending it pretty quickly.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
I can see the sky starting to lighten up for another morning. The neighbors have organized a big grilling event for the day. Should be fun, but I am sure the alcohol will be flowing. Luckily, not all the neighbors drink and my house will be right there if I need to escape. I hope everyone has a great and sober Saturday.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 94
Hi, guys. I'm back and on day #2 after a tough week that included a battle against my irrational Monday anxiety, a visit to my therapist, an emotionally draining inner child therapy session and the use of it all as an excuse to drink. Yada, yada.
Three weeks ago when I started my sobriety, it was like a pep rally. You can do it, I can beat this, things like that. This morning I feel a strange sense of calm, like I'm sober and that's where I belong. I hope that feeling lasts.
Three weeks ago when I started my sobriety, it was like a pep rally. You can do it, I can beat this, things like that. This morning I feel a strange sense of calm, like I'm sober and that's where I belong. I hope that feeling lasts.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 94
I've been reading Hijacking The Brain, by Louis Teresi, M.D., a Harvard neuro-scientist and also a recovering alcoholic.
The book is really boring, but it was so helpful for me to hear about the biological analysis of alcoholism, so I could understand what is happening to me and be ready for it.
Let me boil it all down to a couple of paragraphs here, and maybe it will help some of the other Maybellines, too.
The essence of the book is that "drugs of abuse hijack the brain’s core reward pathway to promote continued use."
What that means in English is that before you drank alcohol, your brain told you what you enjoyed, like playing with your kids, hitting golf balls, reading a scary novel, whatever.
As you begin to drink alcohol, your brain is damaged so that it begins to tell you that you like the alcohol more and more, until it eventually tells you that you like the alcohol more than you like most or all of the other good things in you life. Sound familiar?
When you quit, your brain needs some time to heal and work it's way back to telling you what you really enjoy. Until that happens over time, your brain is still going to lie to you that alcohol is what you really want. That's why you don't want to give up the wine club or get jealous when your friends are drinking in front of you.
Also, the healing process of the brain has it's side effects, too. As it shifts its desire from alcohol back to the things it used to like, it still puts you through bouts of anxiety, depression and whatever else it can come up with to try to end the painful process of healing and keep alcohol as its main reward.
The good news is that the brain should eventually heal as long as the alcohol is not distorting the "reward pathway", the things we really like instead of the alcohol.
One of the ways you can help your brain get back to normal is to start sending it more signals of the things you really do like, so it can get used to them again, and value them more than the damaging alcohol signals. Play with your kids, read that book, hit those golf balls.
Dr. Teresi thinks that one of the reasons that group therapy and forums like this one help is that we like interaction with others, and that sends the good messages to the brain. Every time Casey gives you an attaboy for another day sober, he's helping you rewire your brain by setting off some good signals for it to use.
It seems so obvious, and makes so much sense to me once I see the big picture is out there. My irrational Monday anxiety may be some inner child stuff, but it's mostly my brain putting up a fuss about my sobriety.
Here to a sober weekend and progress to getting our "reward pathways" back.
The book is really boring, but it was so helpful for me to hear about the biological analysis of alcoholism, so I could understand what is happening to me and be ready for it.
Let me boil it all down to a couple of paragraphs here, and maybe it will help some of the other Maybellines, too.
The essence of the book is that "drugs of abuse hijack the brain’s core reward pathway to promote continued use."
What that means in English is that before you drank alcohol, your brain told you what you enjoyed, like playing with your kids, hitting golf balls, reading a scary novel, whatever.
As you begin to drink alcohol, your brain is damaged so that it begins to tell you that you like the alcohol more and more, until it eventually tells you that you like the alcohol more than you like most or all of the other good things in you life. Sound familiar?
When you quit, your brain needs some time to heal and work it's way back to telling you what you really enjoy. Until that happens over time, your brain is still going to lie to you that alcohol is what you really want. That's why you don't want to give up the wine club or get jealous when your friends are drinking in front of you.
Also, the healing process of the brain has it's side effects, too. As it shifts its desire from alcohol back to the things it used to like, it still puts you through bouts of anxiety, depression and whatever else it can come up with to try to end the painful process of healing and keep alcohol as its main reward.
The good news is that the brain should eventually heal as long as the alcohol is not distorting the "reward pathway", the things we really like instead of the alcohol.
One of the ways you can help your brain get back to normal is to start sending it more signals of the things you really do like, so it can get used to them again, and value them more than the damaging alcohol signals. Play with your kids, read that book, hit those golf balls.
Dr. Teresi thinks that one of the reasons that group therapy and forums like this one help is that we like interaction with others, and that sends the good messages to the brain. Every time Casey gives you an attaboy for another day sober, he's helping you rewire your brain by setting off some good signals for it to use.
It seems so obvious, and makes so much sense to me once I see the big picture is out there. My irrational Monday anxiety may be some inner child stuff, but it's mostly my brain putting up a fuss about my sobriety.
Here to a sober weekend and progress to getting our "reward pathways" back.
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