Going Homeless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Going Homeless.
My mother is a nutter. I can't live with someone who tells me I have been drinking when I haven't. I'm at the end of days, ready to jump off the local bridge. Every day I don't drink is a blessing, the sober times are bliss. I cant live with a person that tells me I have been drinking when I haven't. Drink or change man, I'm gonna do this.. I'm gonna change. There's been a couple mates past away on here man. I'm not going out like that, drink or change. This is change.
She lives in misery and I don't want part of it. I'm, out man. I gotta sleep rough tonight so be it. Don't worry though I still have connections to this outpatient rehab. I'm gonna visit them in the morning and tell 'em I'm homeless. I hear from lotsa them how they they live in residential, if this is what it's gonna take to get me in, So be it. I'm ******* sick, I'm ready to do away with myself and I'm tired of being nice. I need help and I'm sick of people assuming that i'm ok because I have a decent education an' all. I wan some help, I'm desperate and I want the same help that other desperate people get. I can't help myself, I need help. Because if I don't get it I'm gonna top myself.
I'm sick of myself man. I'm upset as hell, I live in hell. there were some people that have passed here on SR, it makes it more real. I'm not gonna be one of them man. I've promised you all i'm here for the long run, I'm not going away. I'm gonna be here telling you all i'm doing great.
I'm packed man.. and im going. I need this change. Yeh, it might not be wise but it's different and I can't live the way I'm living. Like I say, I'm ready to top myself if I don't do this.
Plan is tomorrow go to outpatient tell 'em I don't have anywhere to live hopefully I will finally get the same **** as the other people.
Well, this is my final message as I pack my laptop and socks into my bag I got my under armour on.. wooilies.
forward!
I'm gonna need this place more than ever.
She lives in misery and I don't want part of it. I'm, out man. I gotta sleep rough tonight so be it. Don't worry though I still have connections to this outpatient rehab. I'm gonna visit them in the morning and tell 'em I'm homeless. I hear from lotsa them how they they live in residential, if this is what it's gonna take to get me in, So be it. I'm ******* sick, I'm ready to do away with myself and I'm tired of being nice. I need help and I'm sick of people assuming that i'm ok because I have a decent education an' all. I wan some help, I'm desperate and I want the same help that other desperate people get. I can't help myself, I need help. Because if I don't get it I'm gonna top myself.
I'm sick of myself man. I'm upset as hell, I live in hell. there were some people that have passed here on SR, it makes it more real. I'm not gonna be one of them man. I've promised you all i'm here for the long run, I'm not going away. I'm gonna be here telling you all i'm doing great.
I'm packed man.. and im going. I need this change. Yeh, it might not be wise but it's different and I can't live the way I'm living. Like I say, I'm ready to top myself if I don't do this.
Plan is tomorrow go to outpatient tell 'em I don't have anywhere to live hopefully I will finally get the same **** as the other people.
Well, this is my final message as I pack my laptop and socks into my bag I got my under armour on.. wooilies.
forward!
I'm gonna need this place more than ever.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I think going to see the outpatient people tomorrow is a great idea Jim.
As far as the "going homeless' idea you've run that by us at least a couple of times. Do you really think you are going to fix one problem by creating another? Why not just go talk to the outpatient people first and see what they have to say.
As far as the "going homeless' idea you've run that by us at least a couple of times. Do you really think you are going to fix one problem by creating another? Why not just go talk to the outpatient people first and see what they have to say.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by JimJim 
nah, I'm out this time. I don't like your inverted commas one bit mate. I'm going out balls deep.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Change in recovery is good. Even if it
means staying away from people, places
or things that would keep us in or connected
to our illness.
Once I learned about my addiction and
began to use a recovery program in all
areas of my life, other members didn't
understand the change in me or in my
life.
I realized that I couldn't change those
family members who didnt understand
addiction or my recovery no matter how
hard I tried. All that was left for me to
do was to accept them for just the way
they are.
Accept them and then place them into
the Hands of a Power greater than I.
In doing so, that took a huge strain off
of me and was able to continue on my
journey to remain healthy, happy and honest
for a many one days at a time sober.
Take care of you, listen, learn, absorb
then apply the knowledge of addiction
and recovery so you too can heal and
be happy.
means staying away from people, places
or things that would keep us in or connected
to our illness.
Once I learned about my addiction and
began to use a recovery program in all
areas of my life, other members didn't
understand the change in me or in my
life.
I realized that I couldn't change those
family members who didnt understand
addiction or my recovery no matter how
hard I tried. All that was left for me to
do was to accept them for just the way
they are.
Accept them and then place them into
the Hands of a Power greater than I.
In doing so, that took a huge strain off
of me and was able to continue on my
journey to remain healthy, happy and honest
for a many one days at a time sober.
Take care of you, listen, learn, absorb
then apply the knowledge of addiction
and recovery so you too can heal and
be happy.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,171
Hi JimJim
On a break at work so I will need to make this quick.
Go out balls deep for recovery.
You have helped many people in the March 2013 class, now please help yourself. I'm not familiar with what services are available in the UK, but there must be a crisis line that can offer a listening ear and help you identify options.
Maybe you have tried one before and been frustrated, but I encourage you to give it another try, buddy.
Outpatient plan is good, but I'm concerned about what can happen when you are without shelter.
On a break at work so I will need to make this quick.
Go out balls deep for recovery.
You have helped many people in the March 2013 class, now please help yourself. I'm not familiar with what services are available in the UK, but there must be a crisis line that can offer a listening ear and help you identify options.
Maybe you have tried one before and been frustrated, but I encourage you to give it another try, buddy.
Outpatient plan is good, but I'm concerned about what can happen when you are without shelter.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
What's the plan if your outpatient cannot get you in?
Are you planning to rough sleep?
Depending on where you are in England, I might be able to hook you up with some people if you are looking for shelter. Feel free to shoot me a pm.
I would really suggest though that you would make sounder plans. Yes it sounds like you need to leave but picking up with no plans sounds very impulsive and like you are doing it in direct reaction to a recent fight. I have been homeless myself (this is when I relapsed after becoming homeless). I have also worked with homeless people for year as a shelter worker,as an organizer and even helped start a Tent City.
I can tell you that while it is absolutely possible for you to achieve and maintain sobriety on the streets or in a shelter, it is also extremely difficult.
The general environment is not really conducive to sobriety. You will also find yourself spending a lot of frustrating time looking for resources, trying to secure a bed, a shower (not all shelters have showers) etc.
Being homeless is simply exhausting and if you think your mom is toxic, some of the guys and gals out there are way beyond that.
Why not breathe deeply and instead look at your options. Set yourself a deadline like: in one month I will be out of here rather than just pick up and leave.
I m not talking out of my butt and I am not lecturing. I am just suggesting you slow down a bit before you act.
Good luck whatever course of action you chose.
Are you planning to rough sleep?
Depending on where you are in England, I might be able to hook you up with some people if you are looking for shelter. Feel free to shoot me a pm.
I would really suggest though that you would make sounder plans. Yes it sounds like you need to leave but picking up with no plans sounds very impulsive and like you are doing it in direct reaction to a recent fight. I have been homeless myself (this is when I relapsed after becoming homeless). I have also worked with homeless people for year as a shelter worker,as an organizer and even helped start a Tent City.
I can tell you that while it is absolutely possible for you to achieve and maintain sobriety on the streets or in a shelter, it is also extremely difficult.
The general environment is not really conducive to sobriety. You will also find yourself spending a lot of frustrating time looking for resources, trying to secure a bed, a shower (not all shelters have showers) etc.
Being homeless is simply exhausting and if you think your mom is toxic, some of the guys and gals out there are way beyond that.
Why not breathe deeply and instead look at your options. Set yourself a deadline like: in one month I will be out of here rather than just pick up and leave.
I m not talking out of my butt and I am not lecturing. I am just suggesting you slow down a bit before you act.
Good luck whatever course of action you chose.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Good stuff Jim.
I see someone willing to break eggs to make an omelette. Go for it man, let nothing or anyone stand between you and sobriety. Hope the outpatient can help you get a place to crash at.
I see someone willing to break eggs to make an omelette. Go for it man, let nothing or anyone stand between you and sobriety. Hope the outpatient can help you get a place to crash at.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Hey there Jim. Strangely I can relate to this. I took a similar approach the year before last. My life had imploded and I was staying with a relative. I was sober but smoking some weed, with the aim of getting some sober time under my belt and thinking long and hard about my life (break up of a ten year relationship, conned out of my savings by my mother, nowhere to go and on the sauce as a result). Anyhoo apparently this was not enough, there was a constant bombardment of demand and requirements, messages from down the pipe- a lot of BS having nothing to do with what I was trying to achieve (sober time).
Anyhow I couldn't take it anymore and started drinking again. I needed out, and I needed help. I presented to the mental hospital, no luck (it would have been an ideal time to detox and work a program) but they refferred me to a homeless shelter fair enough… I spent 6 months there before they told me my time was complete, on paper they are supposed to help house folks and when I questioned them as to why or what was happening (I got on fine with all the staff) they said the report that I was back drinking was why nobody was willing to help me. They put me out on the street the week of xmas basically. I don't blame them, they said it to me straight it was an order from higher up. But I would not have made it through that xmas on the street believe you me… Be it from the weather or threat of danger, it's no place to be...
I was the same as you, I just wanted the same type of help that I see available for others or the help you see read and hear about- my life was in dire straights and I really needed it. I was battling mad demons inside myself, apart from that I was doing no harm to anyone. But like you said, you have an education or in my case 'a lot of potential' for some reason that seems to be the very thing that excludes us.
Whats my advice? Choose wisely man. I hope you get the help you feel you are entitled to but in my case and as an ordinary joe soap - I was surprised to find that it just doesn't work like that and is seemingly arbitrary for the most part. 'Just bad luck' as a member of staff told me. I thought it was bad luck that got me to there but things can always get worse as they say.
Hope you get sorted man. Be careful anyway. All the best dude...
Anyhow I couldn't take it anymore and started drinking again. I needed out, and I needed help. I presented to the mental hospital, no luck (it would have been an ideal time to detox and work a program) but they refferred me to a homeless shelter fair enough… I spent 6 months there before they told me my time was complete, on paper they are supposed to help house folks and when I questioned them as to why or what was happening (I got on fine with all the staff) they said the report that I was back drinking was why nobody was willing to help me. They put me out on the street the week of xmas basically. I don't blame them, they said it to me straight it was an order from higher up. But I would not have made it through that xmas on the street believe you me… Be it from the weather or threat of danger, it's no place to be...
I was the same as you, I just wanted the same type of help that I see available for others or the help you see read and hear about- my life was in dire straights and I really needed it. I was battling mad demons inside myself, apart from that I was doing no harm to anyone. But like you said, you have an education or in my case 'a lot of potential' for some reason that seems to be the very thing that excludes us.
Whats my advice? Choose wisely man. I hope you get the help you feel you are entitled to but in my case and as an ordinary joe soap - I was surprised to find that it just doesn't work like that and is seemingly arbitrary for the most part. 'Just bad luck' as a member of staff told me. I thought it was bad luck that got me to there but things can always get worse as they say.
Hope you get sorted man. Be careful anyway. All the best dude...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
There's got to be other options than sleeping rough Jim, especially at this time of year.
You might be sober right now - and that's great - but I can tell by your post that you're not yourself. I reallly hope you slow down and reconsider your options.
D
You might be sober right now - and that's great - but I can tell by your post that you're not yourself. I reallly hope you slow down and reconsider your options.
D
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Dee74
There's got to be other options than sleeping rough Jim, especially at this time of year.
I don't know how it works in the UK but here in WA, the waiting list for housing is horrendous and it takes years for people to get in.
If you decide to up and leave and decide to camp out, I can give you a couple of tips to stay warm and dry and set up your tent but I definitely do not recommend it.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Homelessness - Shelter England
Hey Jim ,
keep warm , keep sane , I can understand why you need to be homeless if you're to stand a chance to get some kinda social housing or hostel .
Find some shelter keep as warm as you can , wear a hat ..
Wouldn't it be better to be homeless in the morning ?
take care mate , m
Hey Jim ,
keep warm , keep sane , I can understand why you need to be homeless if you're to stand a chance to get some kinda social housing or hostel .
Find some shelter keep as warm as you can , wear a hat ..
Wouldn't it be better to be homeless in the morning ?
take care mate , m
Last edited by mecanix; 02-18-2015 at 01:53 PM. Reason: added a bit
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by Dee74
You might be sober right now - and that's great - but I can tell by your post that you're not yourself. I reallly hope you slow down and reconsider your options.
D
D
You could do all the things you want to do and simply sleep at home. You can register for help, you can go to inpatient or whatever is available, you could go and help out at a local shelter and simply go home to shower and sleep.
That J's death has given you motivation to beat this once and for all is a fantastic but please don't burn your bridges behind you.
A place to sleep -- for now -- gives you the chance to work your recovery. Not forever, just for now.
Please keep us posted Jim, we care.
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