Raider

Please allow me to apologize for my sad sack post last night. That was the "drinking" me. I'm sorry. I feel like I know a great bunch of you. So it pains me to let you guys down, and let myself down. It's like, if you guys were my "sponsors", you would have moved on a long time ago to an addict that would stick with the program. Since my Sister Debbie passed, I have lost my mind. Every thing is so different, my world, my family, myself. I don't care about the same things anymore. Three months and two weeks. I don't want to go to grief counseling. I don't want to. Apparently I'd rather just sit here and cry.

Some day I'm going to have to pull my head out of my ass. And get my **** together. Seems so daunting ... Monumental...

Maybe today, I won't have that drink that I so desperately want.

Thanks for hanging with me. I know I'm not easy...

doggonecarl

Grief should be about grieving...not drinking.

I hope you figure out this recovery thing before you're the object of your loved ones grief.

Jupiters

so sorry to hear that you are struggling so badly Raider.
You know you never need to apologize here.

SoberLeigh

We love you, Raider. We won't go away. You are stuck with us.

PurpleKnight

It all starts with a Day 1 Pam, 24hrs not to drink is all any of us have, but we all had to start somewhere!!

SR is in your corner!!

Soberwolf

Raider

Me too Doggonecarl.

Anna

Raider, I know you are in a lot of pain. And, of course you know the drinking won't help and will eventually make things worse.

We're here for you.

Lovesunrises

(((Raider))) Don't be sorry, you are in a lot of pain. I understand. I lost my mom, who was my best friend, in a car accident 28 years ago and I still have my "hard days" after all of these years. It is hard when one is hit with such a tragic loss with no warning. I hope you decide to get some grief counseling. I sure wish I would have.

hayley86

I'm very sorry that you're in so much pain. I'm glad you're back with us, you are cared for and appreciated here.

Carlotta

So moving on and moving forward..what's next for you Raider? Do you have an action plan?
Right now you remind me of someone who was itching badly and decided to take a mud bath in quicksand. How long before it completely swallows you?

tomsteve

Why don't ya want to go to counseling?
Answer honestly,please.
It's more than wanting to sit and cry.

Jsbodhi

You feel bad about that post? That was nothing
Your should see my drunk and on the internet!!!

And sorry to hear you're down xoxo

Alphabet

We are here for you no matter what.

I know I'm not giving up on you. Please don't give up on yourself.

Straightshoot

Raider I have been worried about you, and I bet many more people. Don't give up on yourself and those who care about you. You have been missed.

Lenina

((((Raider)))). I did not want to go to grief counseling either. Drinking was so much easier and I could do that alone and wallow. In a moment of clarity I realized I was hurting others as much as I was hurting myself.

Please go, you deserve better. your family and friends deserve better and they need you too.

Love from Lenina

Thepatman

With you no matter what Pam. Glad you are keeping an open lifeline on SR.

becoming

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I have a sister whom I am very close with and I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose her. Don't be sorry, we all falter once in a while. I can relate to the TEMPORARY relief drinking can sometimes provide from grief. I lost a child in my family whom I was extremely close to cancer and felt very much entitled to drink after that and did for a while. It most certainly made my depression worse and it clearly did not bring him back. I know you know this. I honestly am so sorry about your loss and don't want you to cause yourself any additional pain and suffering from drinking. I see a grief counselor and have found it to be helpful. Nothing is going to ever make a huge loss like yours okay. It just becomes a new normal. Again, I'm sorry and here for you.

Wastinglife

Raider, dealing with a lost loved one is one the hardest things to deal with in life. No one here is going to judge you for anything. No need to apologize.

SoberComposer

Hi Raider, I can promise life is so much better when you quit, I promise!

Gotta go, at work. You can do this!!!!