hokey

ok ... so almost 4 months sober and what have I learned?

Ummmm ... life is better without hangovers ...
Life is manageable ...
Life is boring ....
Life is "not communicating"....
Life is "harder to talk about when you don't have a lil'lubrication'"
Life is still "****"
Life just is ... can I deal with it??? THAT, my friends, is the question ...

hokey

I just don't care anymore

Chillly

Seems about right to me

Conquest

True talk. I appreciate the boring moments more now. My brain enjoys doing nothing every once in awhile. Congrats on nearly 4 months!

hokey

May you all find peace and happiness wherever you rest your weary heads .... love to you all ...

SoberLeigh

Hokey, your post on 12-07-2014 was so upbeat.

What happened; do you want to talk?

hokey

Soberleigh ... I have been beat down .... I don't even have enough ground to grasp ...

SoberLeigh

Oh honey; I am so sorry.

Is it life in general or something or someone specific?

hokey

It's my son ... it's so hard .... I love him so much. And I think he hates me ...

hokey

and I can't blame him .... after all I put him thru

hokey

my sober heart is aching right now

SoberLeigh

Our relationships with our children can be so complicated. Our children can be our greatest sources of joy, and the source of our greatest concern and sometimes even pain. How old is your son; does he still live with you?

hokey

and it makes me think "whats the f6543ng point???

hokey

he is 20 and in and out of my house ... per work demands

Dee74

Hi Hokey

I know it's rough rebuilding relationships - sometimes other peoples timetables for things like forgiveness run at different times to ours.

Hevyn has a sig that says we are so much more than the worst thing we did.

I really do believe tho that truth always out - you're clearly a wonderfully warm and caring person and you clearly love your son - whatever issues he's working through from past behaviour, the real you will shine through, eventually.

Sometimes, it takes a little time. 2O year olds are closer to children than they are adults, I think - they're still working out the grown up thing.

The point? this is the real you, living an authentic life. Even with the bad days, it's better than drinking - drinking would only make stuff like this a million times worse.

D

SoberLeigh

Hokey, don't ever give up hope that your relationship with your son can improve. Does he still live with you?

hokey

I make it all about me ... always ... I just realized now that I was making it all about me ... thank you Soberleigh ... I needed that!

hokey

thank you Dee <3

hokey

thank you Leigh ...

hokey