I'm all right.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
I'm all right.
Got in contact with a couple old friends from Uni made me envious, big mistake. Doing their masters.. emigrating to Aus etc.
How am I? vomit, drink vomit drink. vomit Drink. This is the mother of all binges. I didn't drink for that pitiful reason there's stuff, there's always been that stuff! I called my sister last night, I think I was gonna end myself it and wanted to tell someone, anyone. Told her I was gonna kill myself. I feel so bad for that alone, she's got her own stuff. I uspet her bastard. Before I worry anyone here, I'm safe I don't feel like that today, but I've had a skin full I'm drinking more and more and there's never enough,you know.
Why do I post? You have heard this all from me in the past, lend me an ear, If you can hear it then it makes it reality.please Only people here understand this self induced torture and have been there. It would be better to not exist than to live like this.
I have re arranged my induction for rehab on Monday I missed it last week '.Yes, You're God damn right i'm going
How am I? vomit, drink vomit drink. vomit Drink. This is the mother of all binges. I didn't drink for that pitiful reason there's stuff, there's always been that stuff! I called my sister last night, I think I was gonna end myself it and wanted to tell someone, anyone. Told her I was gonna kill myself. I feel so bad for that alone, she's got her own stuff. I uspet her bastard. Before I worry anyone here, I'm safe I don't feel like that today, but I've had a skin full I'm drinking more and more and there's never enough,you know.
Why do I post? You have heard this all from me in the past, lend me an ear, If you can hear it then it makes it reality.please Only people here understand this self induced torture and have been there. It would be better to not exist than to live like this.
I have re arranged my induction for rehab on Monday I missed it last week '.Yes, You're God damn right i'm going
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
I'm not even making sense, I have no answer for myself. That's what scares the hell out of me. There's no control. I think I am beyond help, I'm screwed as hell mates!
What can I do to not be like this? That's what I immediately ask myself, well put the drink down and go on Monday, That's what I'm gonna do
What can I do to not be like this? That's what I immediately ask myself, well put the drink down and go on Monday, That's what I'm gonna do
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
Putting the drink down sounds like a good first step. Second step, don't pick it back up. Gee! I have figured it all out
if only it was as simple as that....but , really...it is.
Rehab on Monday will be so good for you, and believe it or not, the sober-er you are going there the better. You just may not make it till then if you keep drinking.
if only it was as simple as that....but , really...it is. Rehab on Monday will be so good for you, and believe it or not, the sober-er you are going there the better. You just may not make it till then if you keep drinking.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Can you go to rehab today Jim? You already backed out once on Monday, who's to say you won't do the same again next Monday? I planned to quit tomorrow for years and tomorrow never came. Only when I decided that today was the day did I get started.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
That is awesome your going in on Monday JimJim. Try to stop thinking now and just relax and recover the rest of the weekend. Get yourself a good meal and drink lots of water. Your going to be just fine
You made the first and hardest move!
Your right, there is no good reason to put yourself through this endless torment. Be free
You made the first and hardest move!
Your right, there is no good reason to put yourself through this endless torment. Be free
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 46
Don't back out . . . please be sure to go. You can do it.
I can't offer any advice about how helpful rehab will be as I'm just starting down the path of sobriety myself.
That being said, I do know that our current path isn't helpful, and we're not going to get better without trying. You just have to have faith that rehab will help, even if that doesn't seem possible.
I can't offer any advice about how helpful rehab will be as I'm just starting down the path of sobriety myself.
That being said, I do know that our current path isn't helpful, and we're not going to get better without trying. You just have to have faith that rehab will help, even if that doesn't seem possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Can you go to rehab today Jim? You already backed out once on Monday, who's to say you won't do the same again next Monday?
Yes, that's it man what's to say this Monday won't be like last? You want recovery or you don't. My head spins thinking of the probability i'll turn up based on my current thinking. I can only say that I'm gonna go. That's why I guess I delete. I'm sick of what I have to say, it's fluff and puff. so I'm going Monday
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
Monday is still a few days away as we
are just on Thursday. Anything can happen
between now and then.
You, like many of us are NOT BAD People.
Your not a bad person. Your not bad, you
are sick like many of us here in SR.
Sick does not mean we are bad.
We are sick. Sick with an addiction illness.
Addiction to poison, alcohol, drug, ALL
that affects our mind, body and soul.
As long as we have this poison in our
bodies we will continue to be sick. Feeling
bad, nauseus, vomiting, headaches,
bodyaches, our minds cant focus, it
affects our vision to see straight or clear.
You take away the poison, you allow the
poison to leave our bodies, then we begin
to heal, feel better, become healthy, happier.
I couldn't get away from the alcohol
by myself and needed help like many
do. I needed help. We need help. You
need help.
That is why we have people take care
of us when we are sick. Or people want
to help us when we cant help ourselves.
Allow the kindness of others in recovery
to take care of you so you can get well.
We want, I want jimjim to be healthy,
happy, sober for many more yrs to come.
are just on Thursday. Anything can happen
between now and then.
You, like many of us are NOT BAD People.
Your not a bad person. Your not bad, you
are sick like many of us here in SR.
Sick does not mean we are bad.
We are sick. Sick with an addiction illness.
Addiction to poison, alcohol, drug, ALL
that affects our mind, body and soul.
As long as we have this poison in our
bodies we will continue to be sick. Feeling
bad, nauseus, vomiting, headaches,
bodyaches, our minds cant focus, it
affects our vision to see straight or clear.
You take away the poison, you allow the
poison to leave our bodies, then we begin
to heal, feel better, become healthy, happier.
I couldn't get away from the alcohol
by myself and needed help like many
do. I needed help. We need help. You
need help.
That is why we have people take care
of us when we are sick. Or people want
to help us when we cant help ourselves.
Allow the kindness of others in recovery
to take care of you so you can get well.
We want, I want jimjim to be healthy,
happy, sober for many more yrs to come.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I am the same type of drinker as you JimJim so I am not going to be offering any harsh judgement. Sounds like you have been on a week-long binge. That will mess with your mind. My binges only ended 3 ways: I run out of money, I wake-up in a jail cell, or a trip the ER.
You are not thinking rationally now but you need to start thinking about how this binge you're on is going to end. You probably will push back your appointment again. You're not going to go when you are actively on a binge. You know that and we know that.
How is this going to end? What can you do to stop the binge, sober up, and then get help?
You are not thinking rationally now but you need to start thinking about how this binge you're on is going to end. You probably will push back your appointment again. You're not going to go when you are actively on a binge. You know that and we know that.
How is this going to end? What can you do to stop the binge, sober up, and then get help?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Maybe try not to think about what you're going to do, and that you can't do it. Just go to rehab as soon as you can, and try to take it hour by hour or 15 min by 15, just get sober and then sort out a game plan. That's what I'm doing, I'm too confused about everything to think about never drinking again, my long term plan etc. I'm just getting some sober time under my belt and then I'll go from there after I calm down and can think clearly again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Don't worry about your thinking right now, Jim. My thinking was very seriously messed up when I was drinking or during hangovers, that's what it does to us. Just make sure you keep the appointment no matter what, even if you are drinking that day. You don't need to think any further, they will help you sort out everything and you really need that help so make it your absolute priority.
Stay here and keep posting in the meantime or anytime you want but don't use this as a substitute or escape from rehab!
Stay here and keep posting in the meantime or anytime you want but don't use this as a substitute or escape from rehab!
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