tiredofme

Day 6 I just counted been so many day 1,2 etc I kinda given up.

My emotions have been all over the shop this week tears for no reason one minute laughing the next. Today though I just feel calm more clear headed than I have in a long time and a little bit in control.

This is where my problem lies how dare I start to feel good, time for the self destruct button to be pressed. This month only drank 3 times (3 times too much) so feeling better than I have in years. This never lasts it's like I just can't let myself be happy, achieve things, like myself a little it scares me I just don't think I am good enough.

When drinking it's a false happiness, false confidence that I can deal with but real? Not so much. Oh and the hangovers the tiredness the feeling crappy all the time yeap that's me that's when I feel comfortable.

This weekend will be a challenge thinking of lots of things to do so I don't get bored.

Happy Halloween everyone let's have a great sober time.

At least there's lots of candy about to tuck into :-D

venuscat

Oh my gosh tiredofme...that's me too. In a nutshell.
Probably quite a few of us.

But you are good enough...you are wonderful. Right now. Just as you are.

I'm going to start a list of "things to do so you will never be bored".
I have a thousand ideas.
We can have fun.

Love V xx

tiredofme

Thanks Venus

Think it's going to be a long weekend but hopefully a good sober one.

phoebe64

Venus, I am glad to read that you are feeling better.

Happy Halloween all. Tough night for me, I will not lie. I always enjoy a few drinks with husband after we turn of the lights and the kid-centered part of the evening is finished. Maybe we even begin a bit before that, depending how late gremlins ring our bell.

I came very close to having a beer last night but played it through. Loads to do today and decided to not have any. I prefer wine anyway, and really want to lose weight.

First day 3 in awhile. Sad to say, but better than nothing.

venuscat

Day 3 is awesome phoebe!

So glad you beat those demons last night.
One night at a time, and we will rack up the sober days.

Heading to bed soon.

My dad is still in hospital recovering from pneumonia (the recovering part is excellent, he is 93), and I need to be there early to help him with breakfast.

So love and goodnight and good morning to you all. ♥

V xx

Sparkos

Good morning from rainy Ireland. Although we call it a soft rain over here. Any day when the rain is falling vertically is considered good weather!
Glad to see so many of you doing well, coping with your urges and making alternative plans to avert the beast.
Welcome Forabetterlife. Good name it'll remind you every time you look at it why we're all doing this.
It's strange, I thought the class was fairly quiet, then I get up in the morning and there are pages to read through! I think I'll adjust my life to live in your timezones
Halloween isn't as big for me over here (strange as that is, 'cos it came from hare apparently), but for those of you where it is, I think that making a plan is essential. In my experience, relapse occurs way before the first drink hits the lips, there are many signs that it is going to happen if we keep minful of our thinking. So, whatever stick you're using to keep the beast at bay , make plans to make that stick even longer!
Saying that, I have no real plans for the day :.I suppose I'll, take my dog for another long walk in the fallen leaves. He's delighted with himself; doesn't know what's got over me.
I'll keep popping back through the day.
See ya later.

choosingsober

Good morning and happy Halloween, Day 19. Slept good, feel good and flying to Florida for the weekend with Kim. It's going to be fun. Hope you all have a great weekend as well, Be strong stay sober , it's a better high then booze, and the only hangover symptoms are you wake up and can enjoy the day.

Sparkos

Just saw a great quote and had to share:

Between a stimulus and a response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~ Viktor E. Frankl

From what I said earlier, the longer our "fend off the beast stick" is, the more time we have to sure up our our resolve between the stimulus our response. In other words, notice the stimulus earlier, and push our negative reponses away until we can make the appropriate positive response of not drinking. If that makes sense?

Arbor

I like that quote. Got my inspiration for the day. Thanks Sparkos!

Sparkos

No problem Arbor8. It's going into my toolbox too.

BTW I'd love to have your job. I met an Arborist (also in recovery) during my time in a residential recovery facility in the middle of a woodland retreat. He took us on a tour of the woodland and gave a talk on the trees, planting, conservarvation and maintenance requirements. It was almost as if he could "read" the forest. it was fascinating!

Popeye2014

Day 5 for me. feeling good. no withdrawals. no urges.

Popeye2014

Day 5 feels like I have quit drinking for a year.

CaseyW

Day five starting now. Nothing to report on yesterday. Work, meeting, reading, television, eating, sleeping--not necessarily in that order. Easy day. No thoughts of drinking at all yesterday. In fact, I haven't had any huge cravings yet at all, just a couple of passing thoughts during times of the day/activities that I normally associated with drinking.

Halloween has never been a big deal for me in my drinking years. In fact, I'd usually actively avoid the bars on Halloween--much like New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day I thought there were too many "amateur" drinkers out there crowding up my favorite bars on those days (getting in the way of my "professional" drinking, I guess.) I used to look down on those "amateur" drinkers who only went out a few times a year. Now I'm envious of them.

I think I might treat myself to a big juicy steak when I get off work today.

exitingstrategy

Day 5 for me as well. I'm doing ok no real struggles for me yet besides a couple thoughts of memories of the stupid **** I've done while on my binges. Depresses a guy that's for sure. I know I'll be in the clear untill about day 30 and then it all goes to hell then my inner voice keeps telling me that (it ok, one more time won't hurt it will be fun) ugh I'm not looking forward to that part cause it always wins. But this time I have here to write about it and talk/chat it out as I am not one who likes going to a specific timed meeting as it usually doesn't work with my work / family life. Stay strong people

dontlookbacchus

Next day in my journey also. Good luck to everyone else today also.
Feeling stronger.

forabetterlife

Thanks for the warm welcome guys, I'm already glad I joined. Day 13 so the fog has certainly lifted. It feels good and scary at the same time, I hate not trusting myself. I'm not worried about drinking tonight.. Trick or treating with my daughter and friends and then early to bed for a 5k tomorrow (no, I doubt I'll run it all, but I will try. ). Last time I did a 5k, I rewarded myself by drinking and wrecking a solid stretch of sobriety. That is NOT going to happen tomorrow!!
Have a Good Friday everyone, let's finish this month off strong ..

strongandsober

Ugh! I just had to spend two hours in a very small room with two people I severely dislike. I really want a drink...or several.

Sparkos

You're out of the room and free!!!
Treat yourself to something. having a drink now is definitely NOT a reward!

Dee74

Never too late to start a chapter two Josh - just because it's 'always happened before' doesn't mean it needs to happen again - you can be ready for it

D

venuscat

But you didn't right?

And Sparkos is just so right....drinking is NOT a reward.
It certainly isn't for me, anyway.
It is punishment.

Awesome new name Popeye!!!!

Day 6. And....wait for it....I actually applied my lip liner this morning with ease....no shaking hands. Oh that was a good moment.

Love to all the Octsobers,

V xx