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The NV

Old 10-25-2014, 08:58 AM
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The NV

How do I get rid of the negative voice in my head? (the NV as I call it) It's good friends with the AV and they often like to have conversations. For example, I'm back on day two again today and while I feel better for not drinking, I have been plagued with the NV reminding me of what I said and did the last time I drank and letting me know I'm a terrible person. While I have made what amends I could to those I hurt, the NV prevents me from forgiving myself. I'm sure once some more time passes it will become easier, but what can I do in the interim?
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Old 10-25-2014, 09:09 AM
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I'm not sure if this would help But it helped me.

When I heard that "voice" telling me it was alright to drink. I turn on the radio and let my inner voice start conversing with the tunes. He/she/it usually just blends right in and finally is overcome

I have a lot of weird things that work for me lol Just one of many.

Keep sober!
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Old 10-25-2014, 09:27 AM
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Write a list of positive enforcements in your life ?
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Old 10-25-2014, 10:02 AM
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You want to be a good person? Do good things. That voice you're hearing will then tell you that you're only doing these things because you want to be a better person, and not because you're a good person. This is the twisted logic with which we are all too familiar and that offers us a distorted sense of comfort. Yet I can't think of a better reason to do good things than having a desire to become a better person.

Small things at first..."Please." "Thank you." "You're welcome." Hold a door open for someone. Treat yourself to a new tooth brush. (Many of us suck at making major changes; start with the little ones.) Say "good morning" to or smile at a passing stranger. Clean up your room. Do something that's seemingly trivial to improve yourself or your life. Give your seat on the bus or subway to someone who looks like they need a break. Be sympathetic when speaking to someone from "customer support." (Okay, that's a big thing, but you get the idea.) Instead of using a calculator just through an extra buck or two at your server. Perhaps most helpful, Slow Down. A hurried life is often an empty life. Take time to appreciate the value of life itself, the awesome reality of existence, and all the sometimes terrifying, sometimes invigorating possibilities within. Remember, the tortoise won the race.

When we're able to pay attention to life, to our own lives, we discover that there are countless ways to make the world a little bit better.
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Old 10-25-2014, 10:11 AM
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Check this out of you have some quiet time.
The Self-Acceptance Project

It's a series of video/audio lectures and discussions on the topic of self-acceptance with practical tips etc. It's free, you just need to type in a name and email address to log in but no need to sign up to anything.
"Session 1: Compassion for the Self-Critic" deals with what you are asking.

Some of the other sessions are very good, too.
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Old 10-25-2014, 04:19 PM
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These 4 tips are a good start too

4 Ways to Quiet the Negative Voice Inside You

D
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Old 10-25-2014, 04:24 PM
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It took me a bit of sober time before the NV quieted down. I had to get back to normal before I felt positive about my life. It takes time, that's all. Time, and like EndGame said, do nice things. Tell someone you appreciate them. A little gratitude goes a long way toward happiness.

The better you treat others, the more you'll learn to treat yourself better too.
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Old 10-25-2014, 04:30 PM
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Focus on the next chapter in your life, we can't rewrite the past, but we get to write the future!!

The more we create the life we want, carve out a new lifestyle for ourselves, our old life will be pushed further and further into the past.

You're new life is written with each passing day, new happier memories, you can do this!!
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Old 10-25-2014, 04:32 PM
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Positive Affirmations helped me a lot. They feel a bit awkward, but I think that it makes a difference.
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Old 10-26-2014, 03:55 PM
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An Attitude of Gratitude has done a lot for me!

The One Habit You Need to Succeed Above All Else | Jennifer Covington
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Old 10-26-2014, 04:19 PM
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Consider that the NV is actually really the AV. Sneaky AV will find very creative ways to get you to drink, including perseverating on past poor behavior or drinking episodes. That way you continue to feel poorly and set yourself up for future drinking.

You can end it. Whatever you want to call or label it doesn't matter. Decide to separate from any thought...any thought that in any way could suggest or support future drinking.

That's what you can do in the interim...recognize, separate, dismiss.
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Old 10-26-2014, 04:34 PM
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For me, I often find HALT works.

If I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired, the negative thinking starts for me.

Sometimes just responding to one of them - going to bed earlier, phoning someone or eating for example - makes the thoughts go away. Ot at least become less intense.

I wish you the best xx
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Old 10-26-2014, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by dcrr View Post
How do I get rid of the negative voice in my head?
That's your AV in disguise.
Starve it.

You can do this.
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Old 10-26-2014, 05:38 PM
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I use prayer and meditation - this works well for me
Maybe give it a try!

✌️✌️
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Old 10-26-2014, 05:58 PM
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I found that the obsessiveness that drove my alcoholism didn't shut up just because I quit drinking. Meditation is helpful for quieting my mind, as is doing my Step work in AA. Others mentioned gratitude, and I have to agree - finding things to be thankful for, even challenging things, is such a helpful practice for combating negativity.
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