Suffering badly...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Please delete.
Posts: 14
Hi bronkonagurski, I am sorry you are feeling so down and unsupported. I know how that feels and it is miserable.
What I am about to say comes from a place of compassion and is not intended as a criticism at all.
I noticed your posts where you attempt to reach out for help are pretty vague and the attempts to draw you out are met with silence.
There are definitely times where we all need help and that is all we know. We don't know what to ask for or how to ask for it. But you are putting a lot of weight on others here to just assume what you need and provide it without you participating in this process very much.
How about trying a different way of engaging? Maybe you could be a little more specific even if you don't completely understand what you are feeling and are having a hard time articulating that.
Something like "I'm feeling so frustrated and alone and don't know what to do about it" gives us more information than "no one cares, over it"
Do you see what I mean? There are a lot of people here who want to help but you have got to participate too. Answer the questions people have asked you, even if your response is "I don't know" it shows an effort to engage. In short, help us help you.
If you don't feel comfortable posting out in the open (completely understandable by the way) you could find someone to whom you relate and send them a private message.
We are here when you are ready.
What I am about to say comes from a place of compassion and is not intended as a criticism at all.
I noticed your posts where you attempt to reach out for help are pretty vague and the attempts to draw you out are met with silence.
There are definitely times where we all need help and that is all we know. We don't know what to ask for or how to ask for it. But you are putting a lot of weight on others here to just assume what you need and provide it without you participating in this process very much.
How about trying a different way of engaging? Maybe you could be a little more specific even if you don't completely understand what you are feeling and are having a hard time articulating that.
Something like "I'm feeling so frustrated and alone and don't know what to do about it" gives us more information than "no one cares, over it"
Do you see what I mean? There are a lot of people here who want to help but you have got to participate too. Answer the questions people have asked you, even if your response is "I don't know" it shows an effort to engage. In short, help us help you.
If you don't feel comfortable posting out in the open (completely understandable by the way) you could find someone to whom you relate and send them a private message.
We are here when you are ready.
And you are correct I don't want to post my life story in the open here. I do want somebody to confide in privately. That would be the most helpful thing for me right now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Please delete.
Posts: 14
I wish I could find someone to trust. In the past I've trusted and confided in doctors (before things got really bad) and they just blew off my concerns, oh you aren't an alcoholic. They would feed me pills. That never helped. I want somebody that I can really trust and talk to about these things. I've had such awful experiences with just about everyone that I don't have much trust. I don't know where to turn.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Please delete.
Posts: 14
Also apparently I don't get any kind of notifications when anyone responds in here so I really do appreciate the number of people who responded to my original post in this topic and I do appreciate each of those responses. I know I come off as a needy ******* with no regard for anything, sorry. I am pathetic.
Hi Bronko
Many people hate notifications
Notifications aren't automatic - here the default is to have them switched off.
If you want notifications from this thread(or any other) simply go to 'thread tools' at the to of the thread here and click subscribe to this thread in the drop down menu.
As for PMs, I'd wager than any of us here who posted would welcome a PM if, for whatever reason, you prefer to do it that way.
D
Many people hate notifications
Notifications aren't automatic - here the default is to have them switched off.
If you want notifications from this thread(or any other) simply go to 'thread tools' at the to of the thread here and click subscribe to this thread in the drop down menu.
As for PMs, I'd wager than any of us here who posted would welcome a PM if, for whatever reason, you prefer to do it that way.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Please delete.
Posts: 14
Hi Bronko
Many people hate notifications
Notifications aren't automatic - here the default is to have them switched off.
If you want notifications from this thread(or any other) simply go to 'thread tools' at the to of the thread here and click subscribe to this thread in the drop down menu.
As for PMs, I'd wager than any of us here who posted would welcome a PM if, for whatever reason, you prefer to do it that way.
D
Many people hate notifications
Notifications aren't automatic - here the default is to have them switched off.
If you want notifications from this thread(or any other) simply go to 'thread tools' at the to of the thread here and click subscribe to this thread in the drop down menu.
As for PMs, I'd wager than any of us here who posted would welcome a PM if, for whatever reason, you prefer to do it that way.
D
As Dee said, I am sure any of us here would welcome a PM. Just conversing with someone who understands can really take a load off. I would also encourage you to seek out a psychologist. Now, wait, hear me out. YOu said that you have had bad experiences with doctors (I am assuming psychologists as well) but I hate to say it, that is kind of normal. Finding a psychologist is a deeply personal thing. It takes work on your end to find the right person. I had to go through a number of well meaning doctors before I found one I clicked with and that I though was taking me seriously and could provide me help. It was worth all of my effort to find her.
YOu know what, you DO come across as needy. But definitely not pathetic. It is perfectly ok to feel needy and need comfort, attention, help, etc. It is ok. I don't know when that became wrong. This does't mean that a healthy lifetime goal is to be coddled and hand held, but sometimes we ALL need help and attention. Don't worry about that- you've got enough to worry about!
I apologize if this was covered earlier in the thread, I can't go back that far while responding, but what about AA? YOu are allowed to feel sorry for your self and want help as much as you want, but you also have to take an active role in this as well. Get to a meeting. Those people care, guaranteed.
Lastly, this is your life bronkonagurski, in the end, you are in charge of it. I totally get how others can negatively affect how we are, but blaming others and outside influences is not going to improve things. It is perfectly fine to feel down seriously, I am a big fan of really wallowing in the sorrow and feeling sorry for oneself, but at some point, if you want something better YOU have to move for change. It sucks that things happened in your life, but they did. Now what are you going to do about it. Blame gets you absolutely nowhere. Start making small, positive steps for a better life. You can do this. But YOU have to do this.
I'll help you out, as suggestions, why not do the following today:
-take a shower
-go to the shop and buy something to make for dinner, including something green like salad or broccoli
-take a short walk, moving as quickly as you can
-look up aa meetings, you don't need to go to one today, but plan to by the end of the week
-look up the number for your insurance and CALL about getting an appointment with a psychologist
-make dinner and eat it
6 things. Some of them easier than others. You can do this.
YOu know what, you DO come across as needy. But definitely not pathetic. It is perfectly ok to feel needy and need comfort, attention, help, etc. It is ok. I don't know when that became wrong. This does't mean that a healthy lifetime goal is to be coddled and hand held, but sometimes we ALL need help and attention. Don't worry about that- you've got enough to worry about!
I apologize if this was covered earlier in the thread, I can't go back that far while responding, but what about AA? YOu are allowed to feel sorry for your self and want help as much as you want, but you also have to take an active role in this as well. Get to a meeting. Those people care, guaranteed.
Lastly, this is your life bronkonagurski, in the end, you are in charge of it. I totally get how others can negatively affect how we are, but blaming others and outside influences is not going to improve things. It is perfectly fine to feel down seriously, I am a big fan of really wallowing in the sorrow and feeling sorry for oneself, but at some point, if you want something better YOU have to move for change. It sucks that things happened in your life, but they did. Now what are you going to do about it. Blame gets you absolutely nowhere. Start making small, positive steps for a better life. You can do this. But YOU have to do this.
I'll help you out, as suggestions, why not do the following today:
-take a shower
-go to the shop and buy something to make for dinner, including something green like salad or broccoli
-take a short walk, moving as quickly as you can
-look up aa meetings, you don't need to go to one today, but plan to by the end of the week
-look up the number for your insurance and CALL about getting an appointment with a psychologist
-make dinner and eat it
6 things. Some of them easier than others. You can do this.
hi Broko if you need help i really heavily suggest speaking with either D or Anna they helped me a lot when i first joined (they still do)
i have also sent a useful link to another of D's post
Good luck Bronko youl find so much support here whether its a private msg or here on the forum
i have also sent a useful link to another of D's post
Good luck Bronko youl find so much support here whether its a private msg or here on the forum
Hi bronko, the marvellous thing about SR is that you can chat away in a post, express your feelings and get input from so many people. You are never ever alone at SR, you can PM (private message) people or talk here in the open forum and know that -- unless you reveal private details -- you remain anonymous.
I would be happy to talk with you either way, you are among friends.
I would be happy to talk with you either way, you are among friends.
Posting in a monthly support class is another great way to connect with people on SR. Here's the link for the October group...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4970821
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4970821
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Key Largo, Florida
Posts: 48
Hey Bronco, Its good to have you here, For years I went along thinking no one cared and the bottle was the answer. I Could not talk to anyone about my drinking problem and others did not know how to approach me about it. They figured that I have done many great things and always succeeded at any thing I did and my drinking would be the same. Well they were right I drank very well . If quantity consumed was the measurement of success I won. Actually I lost. I did quit many times with out help. It did not work, This time I have found SR and can talk freely in my posts and read the other posts which are amazing and some hurt when you see your self in them. Your not alone here. I have since sat down with my wife and opened up the communication and emptied the guilty vault . Thought she did not care, She does care just did not know what to do. We don't come with instructions and it creeps up on everyone. Reach out people are there to help you. Im on a good road to recovery this time because of SR, Come on along theres plenty of room and plenty of caring people to help you along.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)