JustEric

Im going to try going to meetings again this week but there's one big problem that keeps coming up.... God is in EVERYTHING about them. First you have to go to a church for the meetings then they mention God over and over again just within the first few minuets of a meeting. As some who's not religious in any way and wants no part of religion that's a big hurdle for me. I know people say its not about religion but then both groups say you have to give up power to God. I have no problems with people who that helps but religion is not for me.

Can yall give me some tips on how to work the programs without religion? Any help would be appreciated. Im willing to give them another chance because the programs obviously help A LOT of people and I really could use all the help I can get. At this point of my life im willing to try anything to get what those people have other then religion because as Spock says "that's highly illogical" to me.

Thanks!

PurpleKnight

Hey Eric, when I looked into AA, a "higher power" is the terminology used these days, that doesn't have to mean "God", it simply can be something outside of ourselves!!

There are many secular groups that practice the 12 steps without a mention of "God"!!

Don't forget that Sobriety is the goal!!

biminiblue

There really aren't any Rules in AA.

What you will find is a variety of people with a variety of opinions on How To Do You & Your Sobriety.

Just go in with a strong sense of self and know that you are free to take what you like and leave the rest. Many people in AA and in the rest of life want to tell us how to do stuff. It is our decision on how much of that we choose to do.

Many people in AA do not believe in a god in the sky. Doesn't mean there isn't a use for the fellowship of other recovering alcoholics.

Disclaimer - I stopped going to meetings, but I do have a belief that there is more to life than what we can see or what any of us can know in one lifetime. There is something more powerful than my little teeny brain.

LadyinBC

There is more to the program that just this. I asked myself this when I started out: if I had to go to the church for the meeting and listen to the god thing in order to get my liquor, would I have gone? And the answer was yes, I would have. So I had to turn it around.

When going to these meetings I take what I need from them and leave the rest. It doesn't hurt to hear what brings other comfort and peace even thought I might not believe in it. I am by no means powerless, however, I am powerless over alcohol once I start drinking it. That is how I make it work for me .

Even if you can find one small positive thing in the program, go with that, that is what I do. I go to these meetings mostly just to be around others who are the same as me and just to listen. I try not to make it complicated. There is no law saying I have to do it the way they are .

JustEric

Thanks. I really want the sobriety and positive out look that people have in the meetings. I always just get too caught up in the G word being thrown out non stop. And like LadyinBC said im not powerless. It was me who brought myself into this situation and it will be me who rights the ship. Im going to try to go to both groups this week and see how things work out. Although the last NA meeting that I was actually forced to go to gave me a panic attack and I almost got sent to the ER because of it.

FreeOwl

I'm not religious. In fact I mostly loathe religion and all that it stands for. The only redeeming quality about religion is the architecture. Churches are generally quite remarkable structures.

So, I had to overcome some hurdles to AA, but I have valued it greatly.

No matter how many times they might say "God" or "Lord" or "Him" or whatever.... you don't have to believe any of that.

All that AA asks is a willingness to hold faith in a power greater than yourself.

Myself... I can stand at the edge of the sea or a lake or a field and experience the sunrise and I can FEEL there is something greater than myself. When I caught my children in my hands at their birth and felt their warmth and weight and looked into their eyes - I could sense powerfully there was a power greater than myself. When rains pour down or winter storms blow... when I am held down by a three wave set while surfing until I am nearly ready to pass out - I know beyond any question there is a power greater than myself.

I don't call the power "god". I don't put faith in the bible. I don't think praising Jesus' name will get you any further in sobriety or life in general than simply being willing to hold positive thoughts. And so, when I go to meetings I just let go. I let go of the resistance that wants to fight and defend. I realize that it really doesn't matter whether anyone in that room believes what I do. It really doesnt matter if my higher power is "God" or my love for my children or a general faith that somehow we are all connected by energy and that we have the ability to interact consciously with that connectedness. All that matters is that I am willing to show up, to step outside my own Self interests and be willing to seek help in honoring my choice of sobriety.

What I find is that the people in AA understand the struggles with alcohol that I've had. People in AA share stories of their own struggles and share energy and support simply by being there as a conscious presence. AA is a power greater than myself in that it has been around longer than me, helping people since before I was born, before my struggles with addiction in this life were a thing.

The Big Book has taught me a lot. Stories in the rooms have taught me a lot. They've given me strength and reminders of why I choose sobriety.

My tips - since you ask and you say you're willing to try anything - are these;

1 - Let go. Let go of the preconceptions and just let others believe as they will.

2 - Know that even IF someone insists you have to 'believe in God' - they are not speaking for the program, they are speaking for themselves.

3 - Consider looking at what churches and religion offer from a different angle... not to believe, but simply to appreciate; at little or no charge, they provide a space for this program that saves people's lives. They offer a haven to many who - without it - may be entirely lost. While we may not agree with their doctrine or their discipline or their approaches or the behaviors of some of their proponents - there is goodness they do bring and we can appreciate that.

4 - Just go to meetings. Just read the Big Book. Wherever the "God" concept makes you uncomfortable, remind yourself that is but one perspective, you don't have to buy into it. And if you don't that doesnt make you lesser or a failure. It's not some secret campaign to eventually convert you. This program is here for one reason; to help those who suffer find peace and freedom from struggles with alcohol.

5 - Give it some time. You have nothing to lose, and your life to gain.

FreeOwl

as for the "powerless" thing.... what it means to me is that when I allow alcohol into my life, I give it my power and become powerless over IT.

No, I'm NOT powerless.... but my ability to choose and to think and act in alignment with my true self are compromised when I drink. I give away my power and become powerless when I choose to drink. The phrase is "we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable".

When I did a purposeful, honest step one workbook and went through the process of putting my honest history with drinking and drugs down on paper - it really became clear just how powerless and unmanageable life really was with substances in it. That statement isn't about being weak or incapbable, it is about acknowledging what happens to the quality of our lives and our ability to pilot our own ship on life's seas when we let drinking be a part of our journey.

GracieLou

I am not religious and I had none growing up either. I walked into AA with an empty slate.

I call my higher power God by default but I could call him Steve if I want to. It is just a simple belief that there is a power, somewhere, that is greater than myself that I look to for strength.

When I walked in to AA the only faith I had was in the program and the people. I just put my faith in them. That was all I had and that was all I needed.

JustEric

Great posts. Thank you. I will keep all that in mind when I go this week. At this point I might as well take in everything everyone with more time then me says because the stubbornness of my past hasn't lead to anything positive. Im actually looking forward to going to some meetings and seeing what will work for me because im finally ready for a change.

Mountainmanbob

Some attend AA meetings without ever
Believing in the One God

Some others say that they found God there

Not that God was ever lost

Mountainman

FatallyUncool

You are asking all the right questions. Like you, I'm uncomfortable with the word God and struggle to identify and find faith in a higher power.

If you like the group and are impressed with the folks there and what they are doing with their lives, keep going. You will have plenty of time to talk and write about this when you get a sponsor and work on the 2nd and 3rd steps.

Carlotta

Hi

Check out the secular 12 steps section of SR Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Also this site will probably be of interest to you
AA Agnostica

Fly N Buy

AA does indeed have good new for agnostics and atheists alike. It is a fellowship of the spirit - Tradition #2 - For our group purposes there is but ultimate authority - A loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience.

The theme is spirituality, not religion. I believe you'll find most SR members have a sense of spirituality regardless of a being religious or not - very different things.

Now, all that said founders of AA took steps from biblical roots - make no mistake about it.

Regardless, you are there to GET SOBER - look in people for similarities and not differences. If you do this there is a great opportunity to stop.

Peace!!

littlefish

Well, AA is a faith based program. It is very up front about that, there really is no effort to hide it or make it seem like something else.

But, I hope you notice some of the distinctions in the program that are easy to miss. AA is not tied to any religion, it is used by Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists and Muslims without any problem. It does not tell you what to believe, just to pick something YOU want to believe in, and go with it.

If you hear someone in a meeting telling you what faith to believe in, or what God, or if they mention Christ, or make any references to Christianity, they are not using the program correctly. And sure, lots of people do miss the point, because it's free, no one gets paid to "run" AA and there are no AA marshals sitting in the back of the room making sure the meeting is being run correctly.

I went into the program with huge resentments towards the Catholic church. I hated the church telling me exactly how to believe and how to interpret the bible. AA did just the opposite. It told me I could define my higher power anyway I wanted to define it- and nobody would ever question me about it.

But, if it is just not for you, there are non-faith based programs as well.

anattaboy

I'm a non-theist. I go to meetings occasionally. I have a sponsor and when we went through the steps I told him I could do it if I can substitute the g-word with "common sense"-- works for me to this day. I sometimes excuse myself from reading-meetings. I do not recite the lp but sometimes join hands. I know several others like myself (this is a small town) and they gave me the impetus to stay one day when I openly expressed my dislike of the word "creator". Also AA Agnostica is a cool site- check it out.

Mambamama

Maybe your higher power is your consciousness, your gut, that voice... I don't mean YOU and the desires of your brain and ego, but REisingwood mentioned the words "common sense" and that kind of gets at what I mean.

Many people who believe in God or a higher power or the "Universal Good" as I call it believe that a little bit of that connective energy exists within all of us. Maybe tapping into that energy--which I bet is the same thing that you feel when you held your newborn children-- would get at that feeling. It's that nagging voice that reminds you of what's right and true and good. Always there and usually the one that brings good when you follow it.

Just stream of consciousness but wanted to throw it out-- you don't have to believe that there's a puppetmaster pulling strings to believe that touching good energy will bring more good energy... I dunno. This is coming from someone who believes in what we can't see and doesn't believe the bible but does believe that good energy causes real good in my life.

LBrain

Hi eric I had to laugh at your post. Only because I just started watching season 1 of the original star trek. Netflix rules. No I'm not a trekky.
I read as far as what free owl posted and that was enough. Couldn't have said it better.

FatallyUncool

I've learned that I accomplish things with little tiny baby steps. In my early recovery, I went to a few NA meetings and saw that people there were working the program and changing their lives. I thought maybe I could, too. That is hope.

I did what they told me: kept coming back, got a sponsor and called him and did the homework he assigned me, even though I didn't like the sound of some of the steps and I didn't think it would work. That is faith.

I saw NA helping people change their lives and find some peace. I started to listen and learn some things from the basic text and other addicts. That is a power greater than myself.

Taking5

Try finding a meeting that is not held in a church.

Mambamama

Forgive me if someone already mentioned this but why not go to a meeting and bring it up as a topic? Then you'll get other people's perspectives on their "higher power"? I went to one yesterday and it was in a "church" per se, but it was a Unitarian Universalist church and as a matter of fact, "A Power Greater Than Ourselves" was one of the topics, brought up by someone who struggles with the concept. There were a couple self-proclaimed Atheists there, as well as some agnostics, some Christians, on Muslim woman (even in a hijab) and some funny new-age people who talk about the "Universal Good" (me!) and everyone got along famously and embraced one another.