A whole person
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
A whole person
Every kid thinks they know more ... or ... at best think they know different.
When the adult is a drunk ... the kid does know best.
Kids of drunks know what we are not getting but are seldom able to ask for it.
Every Easter I think back... When I was little one... I mean real little... Like 5... My mom took me to an Easter egg hunt... I went with all the other little boys and girls to find hidden eggs. Plastic as they were ... They were the treasure we hunted.
All the other kids seemed to get what we needed to find.... Except me.
Every Easter I feel an emotion deep inside of that day. A disconnect. I looked around and I never found an egg. As I cried at my mothers side a gentle man placed an egg in the basket my mom now held. I will never forget the feeling of that moment.
Why we remember the very earliest of events I don't know... But I remember this...
I never got that I was supposed to find eggs. So in the simplest of things I thought I failed. Yet I had no real reason to know why.
Today I look around and feel similar disconnects. Others are searching for treasure and I just passively watch. I have no reason to go hunt.
Will someone put something in my basket in an effort to sooth me?
Probably not.
But now knowing what being a drug addict is like. What a drunk is like. I know there is nothing in my basket because all those years I never hunted for treasure. I passively took part in life.
That's not sad. That what addiction is.
Addiction is passively giving every moment I have away with nothing in return.
There are no golden eggs in the basket of an addict.
But there is hope.
Don't cry today. Don't look to others to place a prize at your feet. Sober up. Stand tall even if alone.
That feeling of not finding the treasure can't measure up to the feeling of a sober morning. Or better yet a sober evening.
Happy Easter my sober friends!
Ken
When the adult is a drunk ... the kid does know best.
Kids of drunks know what we are not getting but are seldom able to ask for it.
Every Easter I think back... When I was little one... I mean real little... Like 5... My mom took me to an Easter egg hunt... I went with all the other little boys and girls to find hidden eggs. Plastic as they were ... They were the treasure we hunted.
All the other kids seemed to get what we needed to find.... Except me.
Every Easter I feel an emotion deep inside of that day. A disconnect. I looked around and I never found an egg. As I cried at my mothers side a gentle man placed an egg in the basket my mom now held. I will never forget the feeling of that moment.
Why we remember the very earliest of events I don't know... But I remember this...
I never got that I was supposed to find eggs. So in the simplest of things I thought I failed. Yet I had no real reason to know why.
Today I look around and feel similar disconnects. Others are searching for treasure and I just passively watch. I have no reason to go hunt.
Will someone put something in my basket in an effort to sooth me?
Probably not.
But now knowing what being a drug addict is like. What a drunk is like. I know there is nothing in my basket because all those years I never hunted for treasure. I passively took part in life.
That's not sad. That what addiction is.
Addiction is passively giving every moment I have away with nothing in return.
There are no golden eggs in the basket of an addict.
But there is hope.
Don't cry today. Don't look to others to place a prize at your feet. Sober up. Stand tall even if alone.
That feeling of not finding the treasure can't measure up to the feeling of a sober morning. Or better yet a sober evening.
Happy Easter my sober friends!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
There may not have been any eggs in your basket back then Ken, but Sobriety gives us all the chance to fill our baskets with whatever we want and fulfil our potential as human beings.
We were hindered and restricted by our addictions, but not anymore, we are free to be who we want to be, to fill our baskets to the brim with whatever we want in life, the choice is now ours, we're not slaves to anything anymore!!
A fantastic post!!
We were hindered and restricted by our addictions, but not anymore, we are free to be who we want to be, to fill our baskets to the brim with whatever we want in life, the choice is now ours, we're not slaves to anything anymore!!
A fantastic post!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Well said, Ken. There are lots of emotions on the rollercoaster ride that starts with that first day sober. Things get rough but then immediately better, and we all talk about the Pink Cloud effect that we get to ride for a time. Now a year and a half in a new "sobering" realization has hit me like a ton of bricks; I'm starting to see the true cost of a lifetime spent drinking. I too never wasted any time searching for eggs. I rarely failed because I long since quit trying. Looking back I see a black hole twenty five years wide and all I can do is shake my head. That and look to what's still ahead of me. But those shadows are getting longer and I know there's a lot more years behind me that ahead.
Happy Easter! Now that you're sober I think you have a better chance of finding your egg. Hopefully I will too.
Happy Easter! Now that you're sober I think you have a better chance of finding your egg. Hopefully I will too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Happy Easter Ken. I am so glad you are here, sober, and living a life where you can pick up all the eggs you want.
Your post touched my heart, and I send a hug with a wish I could make the painful memory of that Easter hunt a bit smaller. Thank God for a kind soul who knew that you mattered, and gave you an egg. He was an example for you-those who show kindness to a 'needy' child (i was one too), are angels in this world.
hugs
chicory
Your post touched my heart, and I send a hug with a wish I could make the painful memory of that Easter hunt a bit smaller. Thank God for a kind soul who knew that you mattered, and gave you an egg. He was an example for you-those who show kindness to a 'needy' child (i was one too), are angels in this world.
hugs
chicory
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
What a beautiful, beautiful thread! Thanks to Weasel for starting this and to everyone else who has contributed. It's made me feel very emotional - and privileged to be a part of SR xxx
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Awwwww... The kindness you all show is beyond words. Even for me.
I certainly never intended to make anyone sad. But every Easter this same thought come and goes. That moment back then set a tone in my heart. It's unexplainable how those things happen.
Thank you and happy Easter to everyone!
Ken
I certainly never intended to make anyone sad. But every Easter this same thought come and goes. That moment back then set a tone in my heart. It's unexplainable how those things happen.
Thank you and happy Easter to everyone!
Ken
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