StillDay

The idea of sobriety scares me more than the idea that I'm slowly killing myself. I'm terrified of my inevitable failure, of having to admit my addiction to others, and that without alcohol I'll have to be in my own head listening to my own b.s. with no escape. Boredom and depression and insomnia. And the idea that I won't ever get to touch so much as a drop again (assuming I don't fail). I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it. How do all you sober people do it??

Dee74

One day at a time
Do it for one day, then 2, then 3...

you're not alone here - check out our Class of April support thread too, if you want:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-5.html



I honestly drank to the point where drinking more was the scarier option -you so don't want to go there Stillday,

I had to make a lot of changes to my life - but I don't regret it.
I let a lot of people down when I was drinking, not least of all myself

I know now I was meant to be sober

This is a great community - welcome aboard

D

FeelingGreat

Hi stillday, it IS a bit scary but so is the damage you'll do to your body and mind if you keep going. Some people aren't scared enough, and drink themselves to death.

Before I quit I spent a lot of time online looking up the effects of alcohol on the body. Now that's scary. Google the 'stages of alcoholism' if you want a picture of your future.

I suggest you talk to your doctor, or if you don't have a doctor who knows you, ask your medical association for the name of one that specialises in addiction. A good doctor can help you deal with the worst of withdrawal symptoms. Some additional support like AA would also be a huge help.

Put the thoughts of never drinking again on hold, because your addicted mind just can't handle that idea. Instead give yourself short term goals like a week, 6 weeks, 6 months and so on. Once you've been sober for a good long stretch you won't want to go back.

seeks

Welcome, it gets better...

doggonecarl

I imagine sobriety is scary...to your addiction! But to those in recovery, it is a change for better. Welcome.

instant

There is only now. Thats all there ever is. The future is just a now that has not arrived yet.

I felt DREAD when I thought of a night without drinking, the future looked bleak with or without alcohol.

In time I came to see that my emotional system had been completely highjacked by alcohol.

Life has been fuller and far more enjoyable. I am free of the torment and stuggle. I would not have believed it if someone had told me when I was drinking

DoubleDragons

In the beginning, I told myself I was giving sobriety a fair try. I had given 27 years to drinking, so a fair try of sobriety had to be more than a few weeks. If sobriety sucked, I could always go back to drinking. By four months sober, I felt like I had been let in on the best secret in the world. I LOVE sobriety! Make yourself do this "experiment." You won't regret it, but work it hard, write down all the plusses and minuses of being a drinker and all of the plusses and minuses of being sober and really study it. I think you will be thrilled to know the best secret, too!

Mountainmanbob

I think that some drunks get to a point in time
where they simply have a desire to stop drinking
for most it is not easy
but
each day sober sure beats the days spent with the liquid devil

MM

ontherightpath

Hey still, I can completely relate to this post.
In active alcohol addiction, I felt the same way. But then the pain that I was enduring, emotionally, the chaos is my head, the physical aspects of anxiety, depression and complete fog out weighed my fears. I simply couldn't deal with it anymore. The pain was too much. I wanted to drink,like a normie, and not have ill side effects.

I was so afraid of dealing with reality and everything I had caused, but it had to change. Drinking more didn't make it better, although the little voices in my head promised it would.

I found bottom when I stopped digging.

Turn that phrase around: the idea that I WONT HAVE TO touch so much as another drop again.

Best wishes

Aellyce

I view it as a 2-choice game.
1. Get/stay sober and live, find answers and solutions to my problems
2. Drink, destroy everything and eventually, die early

There is no in between for me.

StillDay

Thanks guys. I'm not great at keeping in touch on forums, I'm more of a lurker. But this place has got me through three days and two nights, your strength and encouragement are helping me heal my body and hopefully my mind will follow!!

LBrain

Terrified of being sober? I'm terrified of going back!

Dee, you crack me up. Did Aunt Clara make that bunny suit for you?

justinJustQuit

I too deal with being terrified of quitting. I usually find that that feeling goes away.
Realize too that depending on your level of alcoholism, you could easily spend four to five hours a night blackout drunk sitting on the couch. That's a waste of life. That, and my child were some of the reasons I quit, but the biggest one was realizing I was worth more.

I am worth more now that I'm sober. I'm SOOO much more intelligent and successful in my career. If you quit drinking for ONE WEEK, then go to your bathroom and look in your mirror, you can already see physical changes (well I did anyway).

1newcreation

There's only one constant in someone's life: change! Know it's terrifying as you put it & I know but give the body a chance to heal. It won't die coz you're trying to get better & improve it but the opposite will happen if cont down this same road

wackybunny

My addiction was weed and not alcohol but I honesty had the same questions. I wondered what the heck sober people did all day. I was terrified to be sober as I had never in my adult life lived without altering my state of mind with (I'm 38) so how was I to cope? It was very scary at first but now that I got over the withdrawal I feel fantastic. I see that I haven't changed any of the good part of me. I see that I never needed to alter my state of being. I'm sad that I believed that for so long and wasted all that time.

Notmyrealname

That all sounds really scary, sure, but it's not that bad when you're first in sobriety and it gets a lot better after that. I was scared too but my drinking was really bad for me, my life and my family, and that really just could not continue.

You can find a thousand reasons to keep drinking if you're looking. Doesn't mean any of them hold water. It's like Darth Vader said, let your hatred consume y--wait, that's the wrong quote ..

If you're here already, you probably know in your heart of hearts that you'd be better off making a change for the soberer. To paraphrase an old joke, if you're here, the decision's already been made as to what needs to be done -- now we're just negotiating a start date.

Amazingglazier

StillDay Welcome to SR, Hope you are Well! It does get better! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

StillDay

Fourth morning sober, third without a hangover. Gotta say, you guys give me strength at night but the mornings walking up clear and not in pain are strength themselves! Thank you all so much for your support and good examples!!

Nonsensical

When fear of sobriety is greater in your mind than fear of drinking yourself to death you have to stop and wonder - what is causing me to think this way?

Alcohol Addiction - it creates the problem and then masquerades as the solution.

Congrats on morning four! Don't believe the lies your own mind will conjure. You can live happily without alcohol.

Best of luck on your journey!

Deckard

Congratulations on morning #4!!

A few things jumped out at me in your OP. Just to shift perspective a little...

There are many who succeed, including lots on this board. Failure simply is not inevitable. Having a specific plan helps.


You do not need to do this if you don't want to. If questioned, simply say you are not drinking for health reasons. This would be true.


Actually, it was when I was drinking that I was trapped in my own head listening to my own B.S. (AV).

What could be more boring that compulsively pouring liquid into your stomach?

Alcohol worsens both.

Do you really want to touch just a drop again? Only? Is that an option that would satisfy you, or would the drop be the beginning of a river? Seems to me that "a drop" is not really the question at hand.

Alcohol made me a lot more sick to my stomach than thinking ever has!

Keep going, StillDay -- you're on the right track!