Class of April 2014 Part 2
Glad you got a laugh out of my post/av combination, topspin (from last thread).
Well, I spent today cleaning and setting up a workbench in the basement again. Been years since I had a space to do anything down there. Feels nice.
I hope everyone had a good day!
Well, I spent today cleaning and setting up a workbench in the basement again. Been years since I had a space to do anything down there. Feels nice.
I hope everyone had a good day!
Well, well, well, we got ourselves a new thread. To celebrate that accomplishment, I went back and read the entirety of thread 1... and that was JUST what I needed to do. Today was my most difficult day so far. No real reason for it that I can figure, just a constant AV nagging that nearly wore me down. My last planned thing for the day was a rally. While I was there I was fine but soon as I got in my car to come home the craving hit HARD and my evil AV was coming up with every way to convince me to stop for a six-pack on the way home. The little insert-profane-noun-here nearly had me, but I white-knuckled it home and hopped on SR.
About halfway through reading through our last thread, I realized it was nine eastern and that a meeting was happenin' in the SR chat room. I jumped in there and was so glad I did. That's the second one I've participated in and I found them both very helpful. Then I read the rest of thread one and now I'm here. Sober. Whew.
I truly feel that one of the big reasons I'm sober right now is because I've had 10 prior days of practicing the elements of my plan on days that weren't as difficult. Exercising those sober muscles that Dee introduced me to. And because I'd done that, I was strong enough to get through today without picking up. Only barely, but barely is enough.
Thanks, y'all, for being here. I count on you so much, your support is priceless. Hope all is well and may your weekend be happy.
About halfway through reading through our last thread, I realized it was nine eastern and that a meeting was happenin' in the SR chat room. I jumped in there and was so glad I did. That's the second one I've participated in and I found them both very helpful. Then I read the rest of thread one and now I'm here. Sober. Whew.
I truly feel that one of the big reasons I'm sober right now is because I've had 10 prior days of practicing the elements of my plan on days that weren't as difficult. Exercising those sober muscles that Dee introduced me to. And because I'd done that, I was strong enough to get through today without picking up. Only barely, but barely is enough.
Thanks, y'all, for being here. I count on you so much, your support is priceless. Hope all is well and may your weekend be happy.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
I've been getting this feeling in the early evenings that's like extreme anxiety, but just the physical components of it, there's no loop of unhappy, angry, anxious or any other of the kinds of thoughts associated with anxiety running through my head, it's just very uncomfortable. I have a few ways of riding it out, but they weren't doing it tonight. I finally called one of my oldest friends, the guy I moved to the west coast with almost 30 years ago, one of the people I love best, who also has almost 10 years clean from alcohol. I was shaking so hard when I started talking, and felt totally mortified, but I told him all about my opiate addiction, and about being off them for 10 days, and we talked about it for a long time. It was really good for me to come clean to someone who knows me as well as he does, both for the support, and also to remind myself that the people I care about are not going to love me any less because of how badly I f***ed up.
I have a lot of friends who've been in my position before, from a full range of substances, almost all of them have achieved long term sobriety and would be as happy to help me as this one is, but I still feel too afraid to tell most of them. I can't figure out why.
I hope you all have a good night, or day, depending on your locale. See you tomorrow.
I have a lot of friends who've been in my position before, from a full range of substances, almost all of them have achieved long term sobriety and would be as happy to help me as this one is, but I still feel too afraid to tell most of them. I can't figure out why.
I hope you all have a good night, or day, depending on your locale. See you tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Oh Adna , ((( hugs )))
I'm so glad you called him tonight. I think you're very courageous going through what you have this last month. You go easy on yourself, k ?
I had nothing to do tonight, so went down to a speaker meeting , .....the best part was running into a dear friend (my old drug counselor, from 88 ) and another old buddy after the meeting. Usually , I would be spending Fri nights with my , now exgf of 3 months, lo.
Dee has said many times about "his picker" wasn't very good when he was drinking .
I had the same problem !?! .....my dumbass got really lonely about 6 months sober in 2010, and went right back to the same dysfunctional relationship.
;;;...slow learner . I got it this time .
Mariah , ....how are doing ?
Kittenme, I had the very same question ? You can't tease us with talk of a workbench like that .
Okra , ...really proud of the effort you put into your journey , ;;;every day . You are so right . Barely gettin' thru is 100% success. Damn AV is ruthless some times.
Today, since I cut my cable , I checked on a few small investments in my 3 year old IRA. The pros recommend starting thirty years earlier . lo ....anyway , everything has been going ok, but a few things seemed to blow up this past week . It's no real problem , ....but my AV was barking loud ! " look , see you need just a little teenie bit a booze , to make good investment decisions " omg , just seeing that written is absurd !!!?!
Nothing like a drunk to make good choices with money . I think it's called Blind Luck at best.
Okra , Glad you jumped in that meeting here at SR tonight
I wish I could do the chat room . My anxiety goes through the roof ! Besides being the world's slowest typist , I think I may be dyslexic , or possibly too many concussions,
,,...or both !? The few times I've tried it , once here, I can't seem to attach the names properly with the comments ; , and get instantly overwhelmed.
......I read the chat boards in the Occupy Movement, online at work ;;;;.....it was plenty fun to read along , but for the life of me , I never knew who said what...
....maybe it's a learned skill.
omgosh ...I just noticed this is novella length ! Sorry y'all
Sweet dreams , ....I'm really grateful for everyone , ...also
I'm so glad you called him tonight. I think you're very courageous going through what you have this last month. You go easy on yourself, k ?
I had nothing to do tonight, so went down to a speaker meeting , .....the best part was running into a dear friend (my old drug counselor, from 88 ) and another old buddy after the meeting. Usually , I would be spending Fri nights with my , now exgf of 3 months, lo.
Dee has said many times about "his picker" wasn't very good when he was drinking .
I had the same problem !?! .....my dumbass got really lonely about 6 months sober in 2010, and went right back to the same dysfunctional relationship.
;;;...slow learner . I got it this time .
Mariah , ....how are doing ?
Kittenme, I had the very same question ? You can't tease us with talk of a workbench like that .
Okra , ...really proud of the effort you put into your journey , ;;;every day . You are so right . Barely gettin' thru is 100% success. Damn AV is ruthless some times.
Today, since I cut my cable , I checked on a few small investments in my 3 year old IRA. The pros recommend starting thirty years earlier . lo ....anyway , everything has been going ok, but a few things seemed to blow up this past week . It's no real problem , ....but my AV was barking loud ! " look , see you need just a little teenie bit a booze , to make good investment decisions " omg , just seeing that written is absurd !!!?!
Nothing like a drunk to make good choices with money . I think it's called Blind Luck at best.
Okra , Glad you jumped in that meeting here at SR tonight
I wish I could do the chat room . My anxiety goes through the roof ! Besides being the world's slowest typist , I think I may be dyslexic , or possibly too many concussions,
,,...or both !? The few times I've tried it , once here, I can't seem to attach the names properly with the comments ; , and get instantly overwhelmed.
......I read the chat boards in the Occupy Movement, online at work ;;;;.....it was plenty fun to read along , but for the life of me , I never knew who said what...
....maybe it's a learned skill.
omgosh ...I just noticed this is novella length ! Sorry y'all
Sweet dreams , ....I'm really grateful for everyone , ...also
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Thank you Topspin, that's very sweet of you. I'm glad I made that call, too.
The chat room concept completely overwhelms me, so I haven't even looked at it. I type pretty slowly too, and spend way too much time obsessing on spelling.
Glad you got to connect with old friends. That always feels so good.
It's late in SC. I hope you get some sleep.
The chat room concept completely overwhelms me, so I haven't even looked at it. I type pretty slowly too, and spend way too much time obsessing on spelling.
Glad you got to connect with old friends. That always feels so good.
It's late in SC. I hope you get some sleep.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
lo , I've given in to these vampire hours ,
Getting up later is ok since Sunday I work from 5pm till 2 am. Some Sundays I've gotten up at 6 am , ...it can be brutal at 2am.
I forgot to mention some positive things today , ;;;;made a killer meatloaf this morning , ....having a little with some steamed cabbage right now ! ..yum
Getting up later is ok since Sunday I work from 5pm till 2 am. Some Sundays I've gotten up at 6 am , ...it can be brutal at 2am.
I forgot to mention some positive things today , ;;;;made a killer meatloaf this morning , ....having a little with some steamed cabbage right now ! ..yum
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Adna , ...it took me over 1500 posts before I just realized something cool. If I hit "go advanced" and once you're on that screen , you can scroll down and see all the previous posts in reverse, ......
The other night I must've inadvertently done it by mistake . I have to "go advanced" to preview , otherwise I misspeak some . Like that post about "lions " ....it looked like a case of terets (sp?) I meant lionhearted, but forgot to preview !?!
The other night I must've inadvertently done it by mistake . I have to "go advanced" to preview , otherwise I misspeak some . Like that post about "lions " ....it looked like a case of terets (sp?) I meant lionhearted, but forgot to preview !?!
Adna, top, that workbench is for setting up a press to put together ammo so I can go knock around some pop cans. An old hobby I enjoyed very much many moons ago. Thinking it might be good to occupy my mind with an engaging activity for a while instead of just sitting around inside my head.
Day 2! Didn't sleep great, but I didn't expect to either.
Day 2! Didn't sleep great, but I didn't expect to either.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 377
Hey guys, haven't checked into this thread for a couple of days, been looking after my little ones for the easter break.
I'm doing ok, struggling quite a bit, as it seems a lot of us are at the moment.
Lovemesome and Adnamaeel, sounds like you're fighting through the cravings and I'm really proud of you.
I guess we have a long way to go, and sometimes the thought of being in the PAWS stage for months is too daunting, but I guess there'll be GOOD AND bad days, it's not all going to be a struggle. Just got to keep extra vigilant with that AV...
I don't seem to have worked out what the chat room is? But I guess being on UK time, it wouldn't be much good for me anyway?
Hope you're all doing ok.
I'm doing ok, struggling quite a bit, as it seems a lot of us are at the moment.
Lovemesome and Adnamaeel, sounds like you're fighting through the cravings and I'm really proud of you.
I guess we have a long way to go, and sometimes the thought of being in the PAWS stage for months is too daunting, but I guess there'll be GOOD AND bad days, it's not all going to be a struggle. Just got to keep extra vigilant with that AV...
I don't seem to have worked out what the chat room is? But I guess being on UK time, it wouldn't be much good for me anyway?
Hope you're all doing ok.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 272
Messed up on a Friday. AGAIN. I refuse to be miserable and beat myself up about it, can't change it now. I've learned that I cannot, under any circumstances, be alone on a weekend night. I woke up this morning and immediately made plans for the next two weekends, in the evening. I have no problem staying sober around others. I just can't do it alone.
I was so excited about day 7. I feel like a damn fool now. But, it was the longest stretch since I've been trying to quit, so trying to focus on the positive. Trying.
I was so excited about day 7. I feel like a damn fool now. But, it was the longest stretch since I've been trying to quit, so trying to focus on the positive. Trying.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
DancingDiva, you figured out where you went wrong, and planned around it for the future, so obviously you learned from this. What more can we ask of ourselves? I'm glad you're not beating yourself up about it.
Chasingthedream, i think there will be plenty of good days, too. At least I hope so. We haven't been doing this very long yet. I haven't checked out the chat thing at all, but there is a link at the top of the page. It seems like there are a lot of people on here from the UK.
Areyoukittenme, that is something I don't know anything about. Do you melt lead and pour it into molds? I know I am always happiest when I am making stuff, I hope you have fun with it, and I hope day 2 goes well.
Good morning DesertOwl, I hope you got some sleep.
Chasingthedream, i think there will be plenty of good days, too. At least I hope so. We haven't been doing this very long yet. I haven't checked out the chat thing at all, but there is a link at the top of the page. It seems like there are a lot of people on here from the UK.
Areyoukittenme, that is something I don't know anything about. Do you melt lead and pour it into molds? I know I am always happiest when I am making stuff, I hope you have fun with it, and I hope day 2 goes well.
Good morning DesertOwl, I hope you got some sleep.
Want to join you in sobriety
Hi everyone! I joined SR in February but relapsed over last few weeks.headbange
I really want to stay sober. I need to be sober, it is getting risky with the blackouts.
My sober date is now 4.11.14.
Grateful to be sober and safe today.:
I really want to stay sober. I need to be sober, it is getting risky with the blackouts.
My sober date is now 4.11.14.
Grateful to be sober and safe today.:
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Diva , Glad you're not beating yourself this am.
btw , I have a little griping to do !
Even though I have to literally force myself to go to a meeting, .....it really helps because it passes the time, and hopefully , just chatting with folks before , and after the meeting will be fruitful.
last night , some dude I initiated conversation with ; made a few comments to me that bordered on rude, ...it really started to bug me. I cut it short, but not even 30 minutes later , Iwas thinking about how I should have responded,... scenario wasn't pretty. hahahhehe
That's the kind of thing I can't think about drinking over though , ...it would be nuts , when I think of it. Like waking up , just looking for something that bugs me , ...I'll never be disappointed , cause I'll find the first thing in the speed of light !?! ,,,...and on and on
My biggest problem now is probably getting outside of myself , ...ie like my world isn't spinning so closely around me. How do I feel about this or that , how does this affect me , ? If it goes this way , what about me ?
,,,me , me , me ....wears me out without even knowing it !?!
Mariah , and Chasing have it made , with them precious little ones in tow. Talk about getting outside of yourself . I probably need to do what Dee does , volunteer.
Hope everyone is getting thru what's left of this weekend ,...
TS,, grrrr
btw , I have a little griping to do !
Even though I have to literally force myself to go to a meeting, .....it really helps because it passes the time, and hopefully , just chatting with folks before , and after the meeting will be fruitful.
last night , some dude I initiated conversation with ; made a few comments to me that bordered on rude, ...it really started to bug me. I cut it short, but not even 30 minutes later , Iwas thinking about how I should have responded,... scenario wasn't pretty. hahahhehe
That's the kind of thing I can't think about drinking over though , ...it would be nuts , when I think of it. Like waking up , just looking for something that bugs me , ...I'll never be disappointed , cause I'll find the first thing in the speed of light !?! ,,,...and on and on
My biggest problem now is probably getting outside of myself , ...ie like my world isn't spinning so closely around me. How do I feel about this or that , how does this affect me , ? If it goes this way , what about me ?
,,,me , me , me ....wears me out without even knowing it !?!
Mariah , and Chasing have it made , with them precious little ones in tow. Talk about getting outside of yourself . I probably need to do what Dee does , volunteer.
Hope everyone is getting thru what's left of this weekend ,...
TS,, grrrr
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