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Old 02-07-2014, 05:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Am I alone in this?

Have you ever been afraid to enjoy sobriety because the thought of ever losing it again is terrifying? That is how I feel. I never, ever want to go back to that hell but I am afraid the fear of it might drive me to it.

Maybe this makes no sense.
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Old 02-07-2014, 05:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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No I feel the same as you. Although it's early. I am loving the mornings, the extra time, anxiety is better... I never wanna get back on the drinking bus from hell!
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Old 02-07-2014, 05:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Give it sometime guys - you'll grow comfortable with your sobriety - and you'll learn it can never be taken from you, not if you don't want it to be.

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Old 02-07-2014, 06:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Smile

Funny how many of us think the same way about love. I guess living in the moment is how I cope with those types of feelings. My thought is that, if I'm enjoying a really good meal, for instance, I try not to let thinking about what I might or might not have for dinner tomorrow spoil it.
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Old 02-07-2014, 07:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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That's exactly how I feel. I know I love getting up in the mornings feeling refreshed, being able to concentrate during the day, coming home in the evening feeling like I had a successful day and not that I fought through the day for the sole purpose of drinking when I got home... But falling back into that scares me. I'm afraid that if I let my guard down in the slightest I'll end up right back where I was.
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Old 02-07-2014, 08:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi 2bhappier, I never forget I am an addict. It's a bit like locking your door when you get home.

You wouldn't leave it unlocked all night, would you. 9 times out of 10 no one would try to get in but just that one time, someone may break in.

That's what I do with my addiction. It is slowly not taking over my life but I do remember to lock my door.
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Old 02-08-2014, 12:19 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm not afraid of relapsing- not at all. I've made my Big Plan and I ain't gonna go back to the old way. Could I stumble and fail? Sure. But what point is there dwelling on that? It's a fine line between giving yourself permission to fail and planning to fail.
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I realized I could probably go on drinking like this for maybe two or three more years, or live for another two or three decades...but not both. Suddenly the choice became crystal clear.
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