kadidee

Hi all. Just checking in. Day 3 today.

Been thinking a lot about my slip on Thursday and trying to visualize a different outcome next time. The trigger for me was just feeling generally awkward and useless and worthless at my job and as a human being in general. Rationally, I know that I am not worthless (and that years and years of drinking instead of processing feelings in the first place have only contributed to this type of stinkin' thinkin').

I'm trying to visualize myself feeling really uncomfortable and close to tears, like it felt on Thursday, and then just occupying my body in anyway possible until it passes. I don't think I want to call anyone to say 'feeling like drinking, blah blah blah,' but I could call someone just to chat about what's bothering me to get new thoughts in my head. Tuesday is d-day--that's when the ball will start rolling going back to work. I'm trying not to get too anxious about it.

Minnesota81713

Ok, I think I am here....thankfully I was sent a link for Aug 2013 class...

AugustWest11

Back to day 1 for me ... So ashamed of myself; but thought I should join a class now..

kadidee

Yay, Minnesota! Yes, you made it. So this is a message board, it's not chat. That means that people might not see your post immediately, but we certainly do keep up often.

kadidee

Hi August11! So glad you're here. Don't be ashamed. If it makes you feel better, I'm back at day 3. Don't think about yesterday--just focus on today.

kadidee

August11, do you want to tell us what happened and how you're feeling?

AugustWest11

I went on a 4 day binge; I thought I could "control" Feeling disgusted; scared and very shamed .

pr89

It makes us feel horrible, but sometimes we have to go out and try to "control" ourselves to keep getting proven that we're not able to. Without that proof we'd always wonder about it, with the proof we know what we're capable of and what we need to do. Glad you're here and sober today.

kadidee

AugustWest, I'm glad you're here and sober today too. I can feel your pain through your words. Is there anything you can do for yourself right now that would make you feel better, like a hot shower or a bubble bath? I woke up Friday morning also feeling disgusted and ashamed, but the more time that passes from my horrible Thursday drinking episode, the better I feel. We're all in this together and you are not alone.

AugustWest11

Not sure there is anything I can do .. Already showered but there is a lot in my head now.

kadidee

Well, look at this way. You're doing something proactive right now, even though you feel bad, by being on SR

agnostic66

AW, I am back on Day 1 too. I felt pretty crappy this morning about it but went for a run and it lifted my mood. The scary feeling I had in my stomach about going back to square 1 went away.

keen2bclean

Agnostic...tho admire your 'going for a run' on day one..I do wonder how bad you must've felt....I can barely lift my head in withdrawals, let alone go for a run the next day...I can barely motivate myself to brush my hair lol

TKS

Andrea, something I'm learning to do, thanks to a little trick of my mothers, is to view uncomfortable situations for being a limited inconvenience. Estimate how long your in-laws would stay, if it's four hours, then go into it saying to yourself "This is only four hours, and I will have my sanity back after these short hours pass". Just be nice, smile, and be aware that they will not be there forever, and treat the situation as a mild inconvenience that will end before you know it.

TKS

And goodmorning class.

Dee74

I think TKS idea is a good one Andrea - it's a finite period - you can do it...amd you'll be stronger and better prepared for next time

welcome agnostic and Minnesota

y'know I think a lot of us can almost get addicted to the post bender beating up as well AW?

You drank, it's done - learn your lessons and move on

That beating up energy is just fuelling the kinds of emotions that make you want to drink yeah?

how are you doing pamel?

how is everyone else doing?

D

cascademn

Hey Minnesota,
So glad you found the August thread and SR. Yay! :-) I'm from Minneapolis and just wanted to stop in to say howdy. Big congrats on your 2 days. As neferkamichael said, they are really tough. I've had trouble sleeping in recovery too. This is really common. I just recently had to see my Dr about this. Maybe that's an option for you? All the best to you as you take these first, important steps.

Cheers,
Cas

Vicki31

Hi,
I have just got through day 7 and its been a very very hard day - I would like to write about it and get some thoughts from others but I'm too tired now, hopefully by tomorrow morning I will have more enthusiasm.
Best wishes everyone

mayhan

[QUOTE=Pamel;4128920]Thanks mayhan. I do hate to keep admitting failure here. I get a few days and then boom! the obsession kicks in.[/

Do not beat yourself up. today I painted my living room and made chick pea curry, i drank herbal tea while I was cooking instead a glass of wine. I'm naturally tired now. the last time the living room was painted was 3 years ago. I'm taking baby steps and you can too. Just remember everyone slips, just dust yourself down and start again, the tables will start turning for you for the better soon.

Marcellina

hi all,
I got viciously sick last week on alcohol, alcohol poisoning. Have not drank since, on day 5. I thought I would die. I am starting to feel better and have more energy already. We can do this one day at a time. Trying to just concentrate on today, knowing that I do not know when to stop when drinking and next time I could die, don't want my life to be over, so sobriety is the answer.
Marcellina