tA=HANK TOU FOR THE SUPPOR IN THE PAS]
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 65
tA=HANK TOU FOR THE SUPPOR IN THE PAS]
Thanks guyw for the shpport in the pat. I eont5 ef=er think i am gong to get sober. I fll off the wagon for the 3 tim3 qnevi fqnt w33 m6tw3lr tt3oiint gqfk on i, i log4 my bett to mufh . Nthqnkew for th4 wupoort in the past ut im done thqnkw qtqin qqll .N IMB A DRUNK AND WILL AWLAY BE IBUESS
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 65
i get drup
no mater how mcyh 9 want to qhyire ir gete me every time
im just ged up
please, try and get some sleep. look at your posts again in a few hours and know that you need help with this. working in the ER must be very stressful but if you carry on lke this you won't have a job to worry about.
please, please take care.
please, please take care.
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Join Date: May 2013
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Posts: 65
sorry for writing just gibberish last night I guess that is what 12 beer and sleeping pill will do. I don't really have a support system and I don't quite know how to get one. I don't think the AA thing is for me as I am not a people person and get anxious around people I don't know. So today I will start day one again for the 3rd time and try and stay stronger fighting the urges.
But you really do have to want it. I admit to sometimes wanting it more and other times not wanting it all that much, but I try to stay honest with myself about it and keep reading and posting here, which has been INCREDIBLY helpful to me. I am coming up on 100 days sober early next week.
If I were you, I would print out my incoherent posts from last night -- maybe several copies of them -- and stick them up in prominent places. Not to humiliate or punish yourself, but as a stark reminder of the reality and severity of your problem.
We are pulling for you!
Good luck.
You don't have to be a people-person to have a support system. I'm not a people-person at all, yet I'm getting a lot out of SR and AA. But as Carl says, they're other ways of getting sober apart from AA.
Hi bdnb,
I was fluent in that language too so I understand your earlier posts. I've been there. Unfortunately they were usually text messages to friends and heaven forbid a couple times emails to coworkers. Ugh.
Don't give up. It ain't easy but it can be done. It is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But continuing what I was doing wasn't easy either. It was a worse kind of hard.
It was a wasting my life. Hard staying sober is just hard work. It's not a waste. I'm actually doing something.
I had to keep an open mind at first and just tell myself I have no other alternative than to just suck it up and go to any means necessary to stop the madness. In reality, all the difficulties I dealt with at first felt at the time almost unbearable but in retrospect it wasn't even close to the hell I was living if I'm honest with myself.
Somewhere inside there was just a little of me left that I felt was worth the fight of my life to save. I hung on to that for dear life at first.
Then it got better.
I hope you find your way.
((Hug))
I was fluent in that language too so I understand your earlier posts. I've been there. Unfortunately they were usually text messages to friends and heaven forbid a couple times emails to coworkers. Ugh.
Don't give up. It ain't easy but it can be done. It is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But continuing what I was doing wasn't easy either. It was a worse kind of hard.
It was a wasting my life. Hard staying sober is just hard work. It's not a waste. I'm actually doing something.
I had to keep an open mind at first and just tell myself I have no other alternative than to just suck it up and go to any means necessary to stop the madness. In reality, all the difficulties I dealt with at first felt at the time almost unbearable but in retrospect it wasn't even close to the hell I was living if I'm honest with myself.
Somewhere inside there was just a little of me left that I felt was worth the fight of my life to save. I hung on to that for dear life at first.
Then it got better.
I hope you find your way.
((Hug))
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
As MeSoSober said, SR is a support system. Hope you take advantage of it. And there are other ways to get sober besides AA. But it confounds me when someone blames their drinking on a lack of support, then turns around and dismisses one of the most accessible support systems around...AA.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Best of Luck!!!
Thanks guyw for the shpport in the pat. I eont5 ef=er think i am gong to get sober. I fll off the wagon for the 3 tim3 qnevi fqnt w33 m6tw3lr tt3oiint gqfk on i, i log4 my bett to mufh . Nthqnkew for th4 wupoort in the past ut im done thqnkw qtqin qqll .N IMB A DRUNK AND WILL AWLAY BE IBUESS
Yes, AA could be the thing for you. Please don't rule anything out that you haven't tried or did try but half-assed. Change is hard but is necessary.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 226
I didn't think I was an AA person either - what's that I think Groucho Marx quote, "I don't want to be a part of a club that will have me" I didn't want to go for a whole host of reasons, some of which you mentioned. In addition to the support, I go to meetings to work on my anxiety and social skills. Awkward, in a bad mood, feeling out of sorts? Fine. They'll still take me, they know. And it allows me to practice being a human being in a non professional setting even when I would rather crawl into a hole or, worse yet, a bottle.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 65
maybe I will give it a try. All I know is with each "fall off the wagon" my drinking and my life and getting more out of control. I have never driven drunk before, but did last week, thankfully I didn't kill anyone. I think I banged into a light pole. This site is great and when I was sober I looked forward to ready peoples encouragement and stories, but my AV took over and it was over. So back on the wagon I go and perhaps take in an AA meeting.
Take care of yoyrself bdnb and stick around here. I am only on day two myself but I do strongly believe that continuing drinking will only lead to more loss of control. Ask yourself, is that something you want more than sobriety? Is drinking worth losing everything?
If youre anything like me thats the choice in front of me. Two roads - one towards life and happiness, the other towards ruin. The choice is there now but wont always be.
If youre anything like me thats the choice in front of me. Two roads - one towards life and happiness, the other towards ruin. The choice is there now but wont always be.
Glad you are making another effort bdnb, and glad that you are safe after last evening.
Going to an AA meeting sounds like a great idea. If you are serious about AA (or any other sobriety method) though, "perhaps" is not the way you need to approach it. You need to make concrete plans to commit 100% to whatever plan you choose.
I wish you the best of luck, and please stay around here too if you need help.
Going to an AA meeting sounds like a great idea. If you are serious about AA (or any other sobriety method) though, "perhaps" is not the way you need to approach it. You need to make concrete plans to commit 100% to whatever plan you choose.
I wish you the best of luck, and please stay around here too if you need help.
maybe I will give it a try. All I know is with each "fall off the wagon" my drinking and my life and getting more out of control. I have never driven drunk before, but did last week, thankfully I didn't kill anyone. I think I banged into a light pole. This site is great and when I was sober I looked forward to ready peoples encouragement and stories, but my AV took over and it was over. So back on the wagon I go and perhaps take in an AA meeting.
I like spending time alone but I now know I never have to be lonely again.
you may find yourself more of a "people person" than you think in an AA meeting.
a room full of people telling stories that sound really familiar & battling a common foe really drew me in & helped me get over my fear of others.
Good luck, keep coming back here!
a room full of people telling stories that sound really familiar & battling a common foe really drew me in & helped me get over my fear of others.
Good luck, keep coming back here!
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