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tA=HANK TOU FOR THE SUPPOR IN THE PAS]

Old 07-09-2013, 08:59 PM
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tA=HANK TOU FOR THE SUPPOR IN THE PAS]

Thanks guyw for the shpport in the pat. I eont5 ef=er think i am gong to get sober. I fll off the wagon for the 3 tim3 qnevi fqnt w33 m6tw3lr tt3oiint gqfk on i, i log4 my bett to mufh . Nthqnkew for th4 wupoort in the past ut im done thqnkw qtqin qqll .N IMB A DRUNK AND WILL AWLAY BE IBUESS
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:02 PM
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Hope you are OK bdnb. If you are drinking now, maybe try and stop for the night and get some rest. Everything will make more sense tomorrow. Be safe.
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:06 PM
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Originally Posted by scottfromwi View Post
hope you are ok bdnb. If you are drinking now, maybe try and stop for the night and get some rest. Everything will make more sense tomorrow. Be safe.
thanks your winsdome but om come the tioe reasona; that ot w;; kill ,e ill tried severa tomes an it end upt he same
i get drup
no mater how mcyh 9 want to qhyire ir gete me every time
im just ged up
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:07 PM
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\nx got to work int he morninging my life if s fuclig up
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:13 PM
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I SONR KNO RHr iM GIHNG TO DO

O KNOQ I NWAQSHEPL BUT I CNT I QWINKIN RGW MEDICAL FEILD WHWEW DI U GI IM LOST]

O WORL ON THE MECDICAL FE;D WHERE DO I GO
IM STUCK
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:19 PM
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please, try and get some sleep. look at your posts again in a few hours and know that you need help with this. working in the ER must be very stressful but if you carry on lke this you won't have a job to worry about.

please, please take care.
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Old 07-10-2013, 12:42 AM
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bdnb ,

Change is possible , 2 years ago i could have wrote that . What support do you have ? can you krank it up ?

Hope your head and health is ok in the morning ,

take care , m
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Old 07-10-2013, 05:38 AM
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sorry for writing just gibberish last night I guess that is what 12 beer and sleeping pill will do. I don't really have a support system and I don't quite know how to get one. I don't think the AA thing is for me as I am not a people person and get anxious around people I don't know. So today I will start day one again for the 3rd time and try and stay stronger fighting the urges.
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Old 07-10-2013, 05:45 AM
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Originally Posted by bdnb74 View Post
sorry for writing just gibberish last night I guess that is what 12 beer and sleeping pill will do. I don't really have a support system and I don't quite know how to get one.
Sober Recovery IS a support system, and the only one I use (I have friends and family who are supportIVE, but SR is my one and only real means of sobriety support).

But you really do have to want it. I admit to sometimes wanting it more and other times not wanting it all that much, but I try to stay honest with myself about it and keep reading and posting here, which has been INCREDIBLY helpful to me. I am coming up on 100 days sober early next week.

If I were you, I would print out my incoherent posts from last night -- maybe several copies of them -- and stick them up in prominent places. Not to humiliate or punish yourself, but as a stark reminder of the reality and severity of your problem.

We are pulling for you!
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Old 07-10-2013, 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by bdnb74 View Post
I don't really have a support system and I don't quite know how to get one. I don't think the AA thing is for me as I am not a people person and get anxious around people I don't know.
As MeSoSober said, SR is a support system. Hope you take advantage of it. And there are other ways to get sober besides AA. But it confounds me when someone blames their drinking on a lack of support, then turns around and dismisses one of the most accessible support systems around...AA.

Good luck.
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Old 07-10-2013, 06:16 AM
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You don't have to be a people-person to have a support system. I'm not a people-person at all, yet I'm getting a lot out of SR and AA. But as Carl says, they're other ways of getting sober apart from AA.
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Old 07-10-2013, 06:34 AM
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Hi bdnb,
I was fluent in that language too so I understand your earlier posts. I've been there. Unfortunately they were usually text messages to friends and heaven forbid a couple times emails to coworkers. Ugh.

Don't give up. It ain't easy but it can be done. It is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But continuing what I was doing wasn't easy either. It was a worse kind of hard.
It was a wasting my life. Hard staying sober is just hard work. It's not a waste. I'm actually doing something.

I had to keep an open mind at first and just tell myself I have no other alternative than to just suck it up and go to any means necessary to stop the madness. In reality, all the difficulties I dealt with at first felt at the time almost unbearable but in retrospect it wasn't even close to the hell I was living if I'm honest with myself.

Somewhere inside there was just a little of me left that I felt was worth the fight of my life to save. I hung on to that for dear life at first.

Then it got better.

I hope you find your way.
((Hug))
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Old 07-10-2013, 06:43 AM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
As MeSoSober said, SR is a support system. Hope you take advantage of it. And there are other ways to get sober besides AA. But it confounds me when someone blames their drinking on a lack of support, then turns around and dismisses one of the most accessible support systems around...AA.

Good luck.
Im not much of a people person either. But I gave AA a shot as after treatment I was willing to do anything to stay/ keep sober. Believe me I really did not want to go, disliked the first few times but just stuck with it. We are all there for the same reason, but I am not an AA pusher, there are other ways to attain support. SR is good. I bounce back on during my breaks from work.

Best of Luck!!!
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Old 07-10-2013, 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted by bdnb74 View Post
Thanks guyw for the shpport in the pat. I eont5 ef=er think i am gong to get sober. I fll off the wagon for the 3 tim3 qnevi fqnt w33 m6tw3lr tt3oiint gqfk on i, i log4 my bett to mufh . Nthqnkew for th4 wupoort in the past ut im done thqnkw qtqin qqll .N IMB A DRUNK AND WILL AWLAY BE IBUESS

Yes, AA could be the thing for you. Please don't rule anything out that you haven't tried or did try but half-assed. Change is hard but is necessary.
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Old 07-10-2013, 08:19 AM
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I didn't think I was an AA person either - what's that I think Groucho Marx quote, "I don't want to be a part of a club that will have me" I didn't want to go for a whole host of reasons, some of which you mentioned. In addition to the support, I go to meetings to work on my anxiety and social skills. Awkward, in a bad mood, feeling out of sorts? Fine. They'll still take me, they know. And it allows me to practice being a human being in a non professional setting even when I would rather crawl into a hole or, worse yet, a bottle.
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Old 07-10-2013, 09:50 AM
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maybe I will give it a try. All I know is with each "fall off the wagon" my drinking and my life and getting more out of control. I have never driven drunk before, but did last week, thankfully I didn't kill anyone. I think I banged into a light pole. This site is great and when I was sober I looked forward to ready peoples encouragement and stories, but my AV took over and it was over. So back on the wagon I go and perhaps take in an AA meeting.
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Old 07-10-2013, 10:59 AM
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Take care of yoyrself bdnb and stick around here. I am only on day two myself but I do strongly believe that continuing drinking will only lead to more loss of control. Ask yourself, is that something you want more than sobriety? Is drinking worth losing everything?

If youre anything like me thats the choice in front of me. Two roads - one towards life and happiness, the other towards ruin. The choice is there now but wont always be.
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Old 07-10-2013, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by bdnb74 View Post
So back on the wagon I go and perhaps take in an AA meeting.
Glad you are making another effort bdnb, and glad that you are safe after last evening.

Going to an AA meeting sounds like a great idea. If you are serious about AA (or any other sobriety method) though, "perhaps" is not the way you need to approach it. You need to make concrete plans to commit 100% to whatever plan you choose.

I wish you the best of luck, and please stay around here too if you need help.
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Old 07-11-2013, 01:15 AM
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Originally Posted by bdnb74 View Post
maybe I will give it a try. All I know is with each "fall off the wagon" my drinking and my life and getting more out of control. I have never driven drunk before, but did last week, thankfully I didn't kill anyone. I think I banged into a light pole. This site is great and when I was sober I looked forward to ready peoples encouragement and stories, but my AV took over and it was over. So back on the wagon I go and perhaps take in an AA meeting.
Yeah, it's the same for me - each time is worse. I'm back on day 4 and finally starting to realise that it's true about alcoholism being a progressive disease. This time I will go to any lengths to stay sober. Going to an AA meeting sounds like a great idea. It all starts with just going to that first meeting. What's the worse that can happen? I'm extremely socially anxious but when I walked into my first meeting, not only did my head not explode but I found a bunch of people I could relate to.

I like spending time alone but I now know I never have to be lonely again.
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Old 07-11-2013, 01:30 AM
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you may find yourself more of a "people person" than you think in an AA meeting.

a room full of people telling stories that sound really familiar & battling a common foe really drew me in & helped me get over my fear of others.

Good luck, keep coming back here!
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