Hi Angelap! Welcome to SR - we all understand how you feel!
Holding on for dear life - I sure remember that feeling. Thankfully, you never have to feel this way again. 4 days is wonderful - and you should start feeling much better soon. It's great to be free of it...you're on your way.
Expect the dawn of a new beginning in the dark nights of your life.
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
Never run back to what broke you.