anxiety and shame won't seem to leave
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
anxiety and shame won't seem to leave
2 hours from 2 days it is so Painful .. Between my real physical pain; and the pain I like to call "my choice" Since I chose to drink earlier this week; it is getting difficult .. My back is feeling so bad, I can barely muster the strength motivation to get up and get some water .. But staying focused the best I can .. It's funny when the pain gets this bad I hope I was smart enough to hide some pills while drunk; since I never mixed them .. Then I search frantically don't find any & check my wallet then bank account and USUALLY start my long walk to the store 
But seeing as I have made that walk already this AM for smokes; and I know I can't for the sake of sanity get Beers .. Even just a "40" cause I have done that before; but usually the 22 ounce Sammy Adams or something like that :p Then as I swig off the last one I get panicked that there is "no beer" left .. As if to say to myself Well time to get dressed again ... But nope not this time Sammy; your on your Own 
But seeing as I have made that walk already this AM for smokes; and I know I can't for the sake of sanity get Beers .. Even just a "40" cause I have done that before; but usually the 22 ounce Sammy Adams or something like that :p Then as I swig off the last one I get panicked that there is "no beer" left .. As if to say to myself Well time to get dressed again ... But nope not this time Sammy; your on your Own 
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
All in all; no .. I think I am good .. Albeit not feeling that good .. But it wasn't a hardcore Binge; least nothing like I have done in the past .. But it was enough (6-8 beers a day for 4-5 days) to get my body accustomed to the alcohol just enough to where I am now .. At least I am hoping that is all .. I know w\ all your Posts and the things I have read; You have seen so many of us state; that Detox or outside help is not an option .. Well right now; until I see my Doctor in 2 weeks; that is where I am at ..
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Thanx; Wish I could sleep :p although slept like a rock last night for about 6 hours which is good ... water might be a slight problem lol I have gone through almost a gallon and I won't drink Tap water :p But again that is a long 2 mile hike I am not ready to take again .. I do have vitamin water in the house if it comes down to it though :p Thanx Again .. just reading & posting to keep my thoughts away from the store ...
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