notquitedone

Why I'm considering sobriety (again.):

--I'm sick of waking up the next day not remembering anything and having to turn off the PC altogether to avoid uncomfortable situations with my kids about what I might have been seeing on the internet or looking at the previous night.
--I hate gaining weight from the drinking and subsequent eating, esp. due to my age making it hard to lose weight anymore.
--I hate being dull-witted and not being able to do anything with a clear head, including many things I once loved to do. This one probably should have been number 1.
--Despite having bipolar disorder and feeling sometimes like life is hard and largely devoid of joy anymore, I do actually want to live (I have NEVER been suicidal). I've seen what severe alcohol addiction can do to someone's body. I really, really don't want that to happen to me...and the rate I'm going, it totally will. Just a matter of time.

Why I hesitate to do so:
--Drinking is so, so, so comfortable and reliable. It makes me feel !@##% GREAT when I'm doing it. Like now! D
--It is a VERY long-standing habit. Like, over 25 years' duration. Those are hard to break.
--Being drunk makes it way easier to type things like this on the internet. Otherwise, what friends would I have? /drum riff
--I know that when I stop, I will feel resentful, angry, jealous, and tearful towards anyone who can still have a drink. Bitter and angry. I can't imagine my life without another drink, ever. I could NOT exist that way. How can anyone possibly???????

I never would have thought that I could attempt longterm sobriety until I found this site. I might fail, BIG time. But I'm considering trying again. Hi, everybody!

Dee74

The trouble with drinking making us feel great is you can, and will, lose that if you keep going...along with a lot of other things you treasure and value.

There's no lonelier or more desolate point in existence, IMO.

Noone can make you be ready notquitedone, but if you decide you want to be, this is a great place to start

D

Goat

I like the friends I have now, like Dee, much more than the friends I had when I was drinking all the time.

And I have finally lost that resentment towards people who can drink.

I really hope you choose not to drink tomorrow. Life is better without it, though it is hard to imagine from where you are right now.

rainyengland

I'm with you not quite done - your post echos with me

I would imagine if you really sat down and listed pros and cons then the pros would be hell of lot longer list !-

fantail

Don't think about forever! I've been at it for two months and "forever" still freaks me out. It's the other F-bomb.

Just think about today. Staying sober Today was really hard for the first week or so, but it's been getting easier and easier. And you can't get to Forever without getting through Today first, so no point in getting ahead of yourself! You can do it, step by step.

least

I used to wonder what I'd do with my time if I didn't drink. I found that I could do anything, and do it better. If you decide to stop drinking for good, this is a good place for support.

visch1

Hi and welcome. After a period sobriety will allow more clear choices in general. Some say try it for 90 days and if you don't like it your misery if refundable. BE WELL

instant

In retrospect i realised how alcohol had distorted my emotions. It took me at least six months to get on dome sort of even keel, and for normal reacts to happen.

In a way the feelings i was having when i first quit weren,t really mine. My system had been corrupted for so long.

Now i am truely sober. Life is easier and i feel better.