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Old 03-21-2013, 10:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Self concious and judgemental

I can't shake this problem. It is a problem. I had gone on vacation with the boyfriend to visit his parents and where he grew up. This is my first time on a vacation since I have stopped drinking. It was hard having one on one time with the parents, I was so afraid of making a good impression, I ended up fumbling over my words and sweating a lot... Literally. The hardest part was meeting his friends. In our relationship, we have made our friends, and everything is familiar to me... Stepping into his past, and where he came from was not familiar, and uncomfortable. I found upon the 2nd meeting of his friends was better for the most part. It's easy for me to automatically look at everything that I do not possess and how great everyone else is. Anyone
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Old 03-21-2013, 10:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Anyways to work through these situations or exercises that may be helpful?
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Old 03-21-2013, 10:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I don't know. I suppose don't look for perfection and be aware of your breathing. Take a stroll around the place. Have a few light nibbles like some nuts and raisins to hand and keep being there because it gets easier?
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Old 03-21-2013, 10:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Karissaleigh, I'm not sure what you're asking...

If you didn't drink before, during, or after these difficult situations, that's considered a major success around here!
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Old 03-22-2013, 12:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Working on accepting experiences unconditionally with an open heart takes time. Don't be to hard on yourself. I am trying to train myself to focus on the positives and understand my fears
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Old 03-22-2013, 01:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karissaleigh View Post
I can't shake this problem. It is a problem. I had gone on vacation with the boyfriend to visit his parents and where he grew up. This is my first time on a vacation since I have stopped drinking. It was hard having one on one time with the parents, I was so afraid of making a good impression, I ended up fumbling over my words and sweating a lot... Literally. The hardest part was meeting his friends. In our relationship, we have made our friends, and everything is familiar to me... Stepping into his past, and where he came from was not familiar, and uncomfortable. I found upon the 2nd meeting of his friends was better for the most part. It's easy for me to automatically look at everything that I do not possess and how great everyone else is.
To be fair I think that many people have difficulty in this kind of situation, meeting the family and friends acquired before your relationship with a loved one, but deeps breaths, smile and just be yourself. There's no need to be concerned about such a natural emotion as mild anxiety/will they like me?
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Old 03-22-2013, 05:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
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It sounds like you truly experienced a situation....feeling nervous and uncomfortable. It happens, it's part of life. It's also a reason many of us drank....to take the edge off. Kudos to you for getting through it without drinking. I think it just takes practice....sounds like you did great
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Old 03-22-2013, 05:50 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Yeah, I think it's so good that you got through that experience that was uncomfortable for you, and would have been for many of us. Before I began recovery, I used to judge other women. It was almost an automatic reaction born out of insecurity. So, it was hard for me to connect with women. Thankfully, that changed in recovery and it's so nice to be able to see other people's good points without feeling insecure.
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:20 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I think ultimately there is just a lot of comfort in knowing that I am not the only one that has felt these thing, and that it is ok to have these feelings, as long as I agnowledge that I will need to work on my own self peception and work on the things I can I am so greatful that there is a place to put these emotions out there. Thank you all for listening and giving advice and support.
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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