Gforce23

Lunch? What time zone are you in? Australia? Wait, that's a continent, not a time zone. I'm getting my P.J's on and getting ready to watch Jon Stewart!
Something tells me it's also warm and tropical where you are...I'm green with envy. Actually, I'm white and pasty with lack of sunshine, however, there may be a green tinge to my pallor if I don't get some sunshine soon.

Have a nice lunch! Wait, don't tell me--Indonesian curry? Gato Gato? Breadfruit and freshly caught fish...? Personally I could seriously go for some "authentic" Thai.

I'll laugh if you say "tuna sandwich..."

Dee74

LOL chicken wings. Tuna pasta was last night

I live in Australia but it's suburbia, not the Outback LOL.

I've read this thread - I think I've actually become *less *fearless in sobriety...which might sound like a bad thing - but I think a lot of my old drunken fearlessness was actually a thinly disguised lack of self esteem and/or a not so very subtle disregard for my(and sometimes others) welfare and well being.

so I'm actually a lot less likely to take risks now...but I'm ok with that - so I'm not Bill Hicks - I think the point of BH is that noone else was BH

All that being said I think I am a lot more true to who I really am, sober...

I avoided conflict a lot before - and while I don't seek trouble out, I'll definitely say something if it needs to be said now.

I think that's a great step forward for me...it gets me a lot closer to the person I want to be, and I consider it a gift of recovery

D

Gforce23

So no barbecued crocodile? O.k...I'll comment on the rest of your post, but right now I have to hand over the computer to my husband.

Enjoy your afternoon!

Steppenwolf

I saw Hicks after a soccer game while I was living in Fife, AL years ago. Don't remember the show, but the club had the best boiled pizza I've ever had

soberlicious

I have geeked out on this stuff since childhood when Dr. Suess' Horton Hears a Who blew my mind...the concept of the entire planet of Whoville beeing just a mere speck of dust in Horton's world...well, even my 7 year old mind was like "Wait...Whaaaaaa??"

THAT...is the definition of fearlessness. As I said before, when I speak of fearlessness, I mean more of a conquering of my own mind, not an ability to intimidate others with aggression. A badass can be soft-spoken, introverted...it's not about outward appearance or brazen actions always. It's way deeper than that. Yes, jumping from a plane or getting on stage is more on the brazen end of the spectrum, but not succumbing to pressure by putting down the drink and drugs, being responsible, looking honestly at oneself...those things are equally, if not more, fearless.

G...to clarify I am never offended by differing opinions. I'm rarely offened even when I'm supposed to be haha! We don't have to agree about the level of awareness of indigenous peoples of the world or the virtues, or lack thereof, of hallucinogenic plants.
xo

Cleopatra1

haha soberlicious,,i love dr suess too,,,how amazing the mind on that guy/gal/thing??xx lol
i love also roald dahl,,,ever read any of his stuff???

bfg,,the twits,,ect i could go on,,maybe not quite as far out as the ole suessy,,,but v v cool if yr a kid,,,or me,,39 going on 7 lol

i loved this thread,,, v v cool and v v interesting replies,,wot a clever bunch u all are xx
lv cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

soberlicious

Ahhhh yes. I'm a teacher and if you ask me (I'm aware no one did lol) some of the best and deepest literary works fall under the genre of children's literature. Surprisingly there are some groovy and twisted minds that write for young minds. Thank goodness.

Received

The core, of being true to myself was putting down alcohol, permanently. Period.

I'm going to be jumping out of a plane (although it's been delayed until spring) and though some may define it as brazen, I don't. Now jumping out of a plane drunk, that would be not only brazen but stupid.

Riding a horse, until my rear end nearly fell off was not brazen. It was not a bold or shameless act, it was simply facing a fear, head on, for me. I certainly didn't do it for anyone else.

I do not like loud, in my face type of people. To me, it's an attempt to intimidate. I especially don't like it when it's considered "just a joke" or comedic. I see no value in such behavior however it's clear many people do.

soberlicious

.
Exactly. I do not think fearlessness is defined by the act itself (riding a horse, performing, skydiving) but rather by a pushing through to the other side. Coming upon an obstacle and surmounting it. It's all relative really. My son who has autism had a real fear/aversion to touch. The first time he allowed a cashier to put change in his hand was huge for him....I was all "That's right, baby, you're a badass" lol

Each of us have different things that we may perceive as holding us back in some way. It doesn't need to be defined for others, compared to others, or even understood by others.

ClearLight

Yeah - that entire live fast / die young thing is waaaaay over rated.

Good song on that subject by Springsteen.

The Maverics - All That Heaven Will Allow. - YouTube

Gforce23

Wow, good morning everyone.

I was surprised to see all these great comments to respond to so early in the morning! Well, at least for me it's morning in my patch of the globe.

Dee, I think I should define what "I" mean be fearlessness: not being afraid to be the real you.
If the real you is more introverted, or conflict adverse, or softer and less edgy than the drinking you, than by all means--be that you! Fearlessness to me is being the realest you.

However, as far as risk taking goes, there are different kinds of risks we all take in our life--physical risks, emotional risks, psychological risks, etc, etc. I don't really advocate jumping out of a plane or b.a.s.e jumping off El Cap or climbing K2 as some essential thing that one has to do to conquer their fears. While some people may choose to do that (and I think those people are crrrraaaazzzzy) there are a lot of subtler ways to take risks. Phoning a long lost friend who you had a falling out with, asking someone out, being honest with your partner/husband/wife about your feelings, taking a class that everyone else thinks is a waste of time, ditching a job you hate, etc, etc, etc.

As far as Bill. H, is concerned, yes, he is BILL HICKS, and he became the best Bill Hicks he could be in sobriety. Why that concerns me, is that I want to be the best GFORCE (not my real name, of course!) that I can be, and dammit, I want to get on stage and be able to share my talent with people instead of fantasizing that I am doing it because I am to scared! He may be Bill Hicks, But I am G******n Freakin' G******n, and I've got some sh*t to do and to say in this world! I don't want to be on my deathbed sayin' "woulda coulda shoulda." I think I've got more to do in life than be a North American housewife!

BTW, that rant wasn't directed at anyone, except perhaps myself.
Wooh. Deep breath. Also, aside from all that, think it's great to find people you greatly admire, who may have at one time been crazy party rock n' rollers, who cleaned up and went on to do great things and be amazing. It gives me hope that it can be done, and that I don't have to have this identity crisis forever. And, by "be amazing" I don't mean that you have to take what that person has done in their lives and literally apply it to yours. Being "amazing" is being exactly the person you want to be, and taking risks to do it, however that manifests itself.

Gforce23

Oh yeah, I love Dr. Seuss and Roald Dahl. James and the Giant Peach is one of my all time favorite childhood books. I am also very much into fantasy (Tolkien, Lewis, etc) and Sci-Fi. (Asimov, Herbert, Philip K, etc) If you really want to have your literary mind twisted, read William S. Burroughs--esp. the Place of Dead Roads trilogy because it's accessible and readable while still being a non-linear head trip.

Also, to touch again on this notion of fearlessness, let me reiterate, it isn't about doing something physically scary--necessarily. I've done lot's of physically scary things. I was an equestrian since the time I was 7, and by the time I was 10, I had an Arab/thouroghbred cross who was partially crazy. I've been bucked off, scraped off, kicked, and bitten and stepped on. But damn did I ever learn to RIDE a horse. I worked with a trainer in level 1-2 dressage and Hunter/Jumper, which was my main love, because it's thrilling.
I've been rock climbing, and while not multi-pitch lead climbs, it was scary enough for me. I've sea kayaked across Resurection Bay in Alaska, and fished in a tiny fishing boat up about 3/4 of the coast of Alaska, and believe me, that can get hairy. I've also been a mountain biker for 17 years, and I've plummeted down some pretty hairy trails.

Now, getting on stage, and singing and playing guitar? Far more frightening than any crazy downhill decent on my mountain bike. And yet, I want to do it because I love to sing. I love it, I have a big soul voice, and I know I could rock it up there on a stage if I wasn't so afraid.

That's what this is about. Being fearless doesn't mean conforming to someone else's idea of what scary is. It's deeply personal.

Also, this isn't as much about "Bill" as it is about what his story means, to me.
Everyone is free to find there own sober hero's. Heck, maybe they are not even famous. Maybe they're your mom or dad, or somebody you know from a meeting. Whatever! I'm just talking about mine, and why it means what it does, to me.

Gforce23

Yep, I agree with the first statement. However I have a few questions about the second--define "loud and in your face?" Does this mean you don't like comedians, or just loud people in general? If you watch interviews with Bill Hicks, in person, he was not "loud and in your face" at all, in fact he was way more quiet and reserved when not doing his thing on stage.

Then there's me. I am pretty loud. I'm not necessarily "in your face," what ever that means, but I do like to be funny or make people laugh... so maybe you wouldn't like me in person. I don't do it to "intimidate" people, I'm just true extrovert, it's just part of my larger than life personality.

Once again, this is actually less about BH than it is about what his story personally represents to me.

Coldfusion

Thanks for being an inspiration!

You're a horse woman! My first wife (deceased) was field master for a fox hunt and had three children who were all equestrian champions. And second wife was a back-country ranger who rode a horse and led a mule into the wilderness (she has a lot of injuries, and no longer rides).

You have a passion for things in life that I am seeking. Music, sports, "kick ass sobriety"--joie de vivre. Thanks again for being an inspiration!

Gforce23

I should say I was a horse woman. I mean, I could still pick it up again at any time, but yeah... Unfortunately I made choices long ago before I had any sense at all that led me away from that life. And now, I could hardly afford horses. If I could find a way to lease or be around them again... boy, I have so many other things on my plate I'm doing... it's a toughy.
I rode a friends feisty Morgan a few years back, and my freind said she couldn't tell at all that I'd spent any time away from riding, so yeah, that was a nice ego boost. I used to have to spend hours working on my seat and legs. Walk, trot, and canter with no stirrups, and even harder, all of the former in 2 point hunt position.

Anyway, yeah--I am definitely looking to capture something with my life, what ever that may be.
I'm not a person who wants to stay on the surface of things. I'm trying to capture something here that's somewhat undefinable, I guess. Or at least, personal.

I want to take a big breath, dive deep through murky waters, and come back up coughing and sputtering with a giant pearl in my hands.

Gforce23

Knock knock,

Anybody still around....? I made it to 30 days today!

Received

Congratulations, Gforce.

soberlicious

niiiice.....

DeltaBravo

I get a lot of inspiration from artist/musicians...! Big time from the ones who rose from addiction. Stevie Ray Vaughn, James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine, Alice Cooper, and a lot more. I'm in the midst of being on my 3rd day sober. I get really into the whole party lifestyle...man it just seems I'm the life of the party when I'm around a bunch of drunks and others..! I know that when I come down I don't feel that way. Anyways I'll be sure to check that out.

Gforce23

Hi there! Hmm, I never knew those guy's were sober.

Yeah, I have the same cycle. I'm the life of the party yuckin' it up with all the other party people, and then the next day two I'm the Mayor of Loserville. So yeah, a few hours of "fun" vs. several days of misery...hmm.
I've also been in and around various crazy music scenes in different places, and well, sounds like you know about that!

I want to compile a list a good list of performers (of any kind really) that are now sober.

I'll be back around here later. It's feedin' time at the O.K corral.

Cheers, and hang in there.