SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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texasgal43 01-29-2013 08:28 PM

New to this
 
I came across this site while searching on the net. Hard to believe I'm here - anyway. Long story short...I progressively started drinking more and more as the years have passed. I'm 41, two kids & wonderful husband. I am surrounded by people who overindulge regularly which is why I think I never took a good look at my own habits. Thankfully, my husband pointed out in a loving way that I was really overdoing it. I didn't think so...got defensive.

Then I really considered the facts: Past 4 years literally drinking every single night. Starting at 4pm until bedtime at least 5 beers a night and/or bottle of wine. Every evening. Weekends even more. Then hiding the bottles in the trash. Sometimes drinking a glass of wine at 11 in the morning. Yeah...everything added up & I came to the realization that I may have a problem. I don't know how I got to enjoying alcohol occasionally to drinking alcohol to get drunk but that's where I'm at.

I set some goals for myself to be healthy. It's been two weeks tonight without one drink. It's in the house - my husband has a beer occasionally & it's okay for me. It's not an overwhelming sense of want although I'm sure it would be better to clear it out. I guess I'm glad I found this site. I am not the type of person to make a declaration to anyone I know that "I have quit drinking." It's just not me. I haven't even said anything to my husband although I'm certain he notices I'm much more coherent...kind of an unspoken thing. I think I should reach out to him perhaps - tell him of my personal goals & about setting a better example for the kids and everything.

It sure feels better to talk on this forum than not discuss it at all. I guess it's hard for someone like me to admit a problem but I think I do have one. I'm a perfectionist & having a "drinking problem" soooo does not go along with that!

I'm thankful for this site - glad I found it. I think it will help through those rough patches that I'm sure are headed my way....

yukonm 01-29-2013 08:37 PM

Welcome to our community. I am glad that you found us. We are here to support and encourage you. There is tons of information here and lots of good people. I am grateful to be on this journey and happy to share it with you.
I have been in recovery since Aug 21, 2007.

Redviper 01-29-2013 08:42 PM

You have made it through some of the hardest times. Good job. I haven't felt the need to discuss my sobriety with everyone. I have only told a few. I found coming here everyday really helped me in the first weeks. I'm at four months now and it's just now getting easier. Just post and read as much as you can.

MadameX 01-29-2013 08:59 PM

yukonm, It took me a while to admit to myself I had a problem to. In my mind I felt so dissapointed in myself, I didnt want to believe it, thinking how could I let this happen to me. BUT youve made the first step which is admitting it to yourself and thats awesome. I think its a good idea to ask the hubby not to drink around you. At least from now until you are stronger willed. If you do your part it will only get better from here :-) Best wishes to you.

MurphysMistress 01-29-2013 10:10 PM

Hi Texasgal....welcome. I'm new here too. Alot of good people and support, you (and I) seem to have found the right place!

Good luck :)

llastchance8 01-29-2013 10:13 PM

Texasgal, Welcome to SR. Congratulation on 2 weeks ..We all are here to support each other. Keep posting and visiting SR.

MadameX 01-29-2013 10:18 PM

OOOppps Meant texasgal, excuse the typo

terrazinaa 01-30-2013 12:08 AM

Welcome texasgal!
When you gradually slide into addiction it always feels so normal, like you just doing the same thing you always did, just one glass more every day.
And admitting the problem is way more "perfect" than having the problem and denying it.
It's a great idea to stop! You made it through 2 weeks, you can definitely keep going!
It's nice to have you with us, thank you for joining.:tyou

least 01-30-2013 12:28 AM

:welcome to the family! Glad you've decided to quit drinking. Congrats on your two weeks sober!:) It gets better!

Nonsensical 01-30-2013 02:18 AM

Awesome on your 2 weeks.

Obviously I only know as much of the whole story as you've posted, but I vote you discuss your goal(s) with your husband. If he told you he thought you drank too much there is no way your sobriety has gone unnoticed, even if it has gone unmentioned.

texasgal43 02-07-2013 08:24 AM

Wow...what great encouraging words. I have spoken with hubby...he's very supportive. Felt badly about mentioning something to me - didn't want that to be the reason I've decided to stop. Assured him it's not...just made me aware which is good! Surprisingly, a few friends I mentioned it to just casually have really toted the "everything in moderation" excuse and telling me that if I find I'm drinking too much just cut back...I really probably don't have an actual problem. It's funny how that creeps in the mind & makes me second guess my decision?? But then again...EVERYONE I know drinks heavily so that makes sense! Just going to keep trying to avoid avoid avoid...Super Bowl was a bit difficult but did it. Kept to my sparkling water & cranberry. I'll admit I had a few beers the other night after I allowed the "voices" of my friends convince me...I can just have a beer or two once in awhile. Well, I don't really think I can or should. Feel stupid & weak but I'm sure that's all part of this crazy process! I think I'll check on here everyday - it's really enlightening & encouraging and I'm thankful for this outlet for my thoughts!

AlisonW 02-07-2013 08:47 AM

Welcome texasgal! I think a lot of us have a very specific picture of what an alcoholic is, and when we don't fit into that extreme mold, we use it as a reason to deny our problem. One thing that's helping me so far is the mantra of "One day at a time." When I start looking ahead too far into the future and thinking about all the opportunities to drink that I won't be a part of, it starts to feel overwhelming. But not drinking today, I can handle that!
Best wishes, Alison

artsoul 02-07-2013 09:23 AM

Hi texasgal!

It's pretty tough to stay strong when people around us are drinking, especially in the beginning. I had to avoid those situations for a while when I first got sober.

Glad you're here..... Being able to come here and read/post keeps me motivated to stay sober. It's like a reality check. I've had times in the past when I thought "maybe you're not an alcoholic..... it wasn't really THAT bad," and I know where that thinking leads. A glass of wine here and there eventually turns into a bottle.

Good for you for getting through the SuperBowl! Stay strong and be good to yourself!

Dee74 02-07-2013 01:24 PM

Welcome texasgal :)

D


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