Just in from smoking what I fully intend to be my last cigarette. Yeah I've said that before. It's to the point, however, that I cannot progress until that addictive habit is stopped. I'm a hypocrite to keep smoking and be in recovery, because I know cigarettes are just a sorry substitute for smoking pot. So long as I allow myself to keep indulging it keeps the addictive thinking and all that mindset alive. It prevents progress.
While on the walk I kept thinking that I wish there were some clear path, some sign or something, someone I could turn to, or who could help guide me. Something! Came in and brewed a cup of tea. On the tea bag is the sign. It simply says "be heard." So long as I remain isolated in my own head, there is no insight to be had, as I can talk my way out of and around everything. Including taking action. So I'm here, making myself heard. Which, yeah, I've done before as well. Still trying, though.