I gave in already!

[needtostopthis]

Well after 3 days sober, which is how i drink anyway because i binge and always wait 3 days between drinking, i gave in and drank ALREADY! So in other words i did not do any better then usual. Why can't i just stop this. I was so stupid because i knew i had a doctor appointment the next day and i was supposed to meet my mom after the appoinment to shop for a dress. Well that did not happen because i had a massive headache and was worried i smelled like booze so i cancelled my doc app and then lied to my mom about why i wouldn't be able to meet her. That is so sad. If this isnt my rock bottom i don't know what is? I am starting to lie to people to cover my drunken tracks.
So now i am at 2 days again.

[LadyinBC]

Congrats on day 2! Yes, I got out of many family obligations with my drinking. I would say I was sick or just not answer my phone. Let my daughter down many many times.

Are doing this on your own?

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by needtostopthis

Well after 3 days sober, which is how i drink anyway because i binge and always wait 3 days between drinking, i gave in and drank ALREADY! So in other words i did not do any better then usual. Why can't i just stop this. I was so stupid because i knew i had a doctor appointment the next day and i was supposed to meet my mom after the appoinment to shop for a dress. Well that did not happen because i had a massive headache and was worried i smelled like booze so i cancelled my doc app and then lied to my mom about why i wouldn't be able to meet her. That is so sad. If this isnt my rock bottom i don't know what is? I am starting to lie to people to cover my drunken tracks.
So now i am at 2 days again.

Are you trying to do this alone or are you attending AA meetings? I feel your pain... I have felt your pain.

All the best to you in your upcoming recovery choices.

Bob R

[MIRecovery]

Will power while important is seldom enough. AA taught me another way.

[needtostopthis]

Alone as of now, but i do plan on attending an AA meeting the next time i even feel the urge. The thing is i said that last time and i made excuses, like im to tired to go to an AA meeting or i don't feel like leaving the house etc etc. There is always an excuse.

[MIRecovery]

Originally Posted by needtostopthis

Alone as of now, but i do plan on attending an AA meeting the next time i even feel the urge. The thing is i said that last time and i made excuses, like im to tired to go to an AA meeting or i don't feel like leaving the house etc etc. There is always an excuse.

When you feel the urge you are already too late. Kind of like taking you heart medication when you are having a heart attack. If we do not change we stay the way we are.

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by needtostopthis

Alone as of now, but i do plan on attending an AA meeting the next time i even feel the urge. The thing is i said that last time and i made excuses, like im to tired to go to an AA meeting or i don't feel like leaving the house etc etc. There is always an excuse.

Meet up with another newcomer and go to meetings together. Be accountable to one-another.

I go to the meetings regularly so I don't get the urge.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

[2granddaughters]

MIR and I are both "barking" at you. I will let him respond to you and I'll bow out.

Let me know if I can help you in any way.

I do wish you the best.

Bob

[needtostopthis]

Originally Posted by 2granddaughters

MIR and I are both "barking" at you. I will let him respond to you and I'll bow out.

Let me know if I can help you in any way.

I do wish you the best.

Bob

Aww don't worry about it. I will take all they advice and help i can get. Guess i need to get my butt to an AA meeting. No excuses.

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by needtostopthis

Aww don't worry about it. I will take all they advice and help i can get. Guess i need to get my butt to an AA meeting. No excuses.

It was just the ticket for me 23 yrs ago. Give it an honest go, might do the trick for you as well.

Do you know where the meetings are in your area? AA will be right in the phone book... good folks there.

Bob R

[MIRecovery]

arf arf arf arf bow wow bow wow. Go to a meeting, what can it hurt?

[Tamerua]

Since you are open to meetings, I would say go online, find the meetings for your area and look for a woman's meeting to attend. I have been going to meetings for about a month and in retrospect I wish I had done that.

At first, I was scared to death to go! I felt beat up and ashamed, like a hot mess. Now, I actually look forward to going to a meeting and see that it isn't a punishment to go. Good luck!

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by Tamerua

Since you are open to meetings, I would say go online, find the meetings for your area and look for a woman's meeting to attend. I have been going to meetings for about a month and in retrospect I wish I had done that.

At first, I was scared to death to go! I felt beat up and ashamed, like a hot mess. Now, I actually look forward to going to a meeting and see that it isn't a punishment to go. Good luck!

Right on!

Shortly down the line the 12 Steps change from being a penalty to an opportunity. The Steps didn't change.... we do.

All the best..

Bob R

[hamabi]

Great plan, hope you'll post about the experience of attending your first AA meeting to help allay the apprehensions that may be preventing other new people from getting sober.

[Delilah1]

Glad you are here, tomorrow can be your day three.

[TrixMixer]

Hi Needtostopthis,

Here is a thought find where the Ameeting is in your area today and make a date to attend tomorrow---since that will be day three, and that day is important to get by. If you already plan and go to an AA meeting tomorrow you may get through day 3, and then who knows???????????

You have to pre-plan this though--it has to be a NO-Brainer, K?

Trix

[FreeFall]

Welcome NeedToStopThis! Your pattern is a lot like mine was. Drink heavily one night, then recover and stop for a day or two, then feel great and drink again. It was a never ending cycle that caused me a lot of stress, worry, and I know health issues would have been next. I was constantly feeling guilty about drinking, frustrated that I couldn't moderate it, and miserable because deep down I knew I had a problem and was avoiding it.

Try to really examine the reasons you want to stop. They will become the tools to help you talk yourself out of drinking the next time the urge hits. AA sounds like a good option for you as well if you're open to that method. I find AVRT very helpful in keeping me sober, also reading and posting here on SR.

Initially I had to approach it with the words "not today maybe tomorrow" because the idea of never drinking again was too overwhelming. It still is in some ways, but now it seems like a possible concept. You can do this! Read about all the success stories here

[Bigndfan175]

Three things have kept me sober for 58 days ( after 25 years of doing just what u described)
1. I go to meetings even when I don't "feel" like it
2. I got a sponsor who holds me accountable for working the steps
3. I do 12 step work at least once a week

I have a successful career a wonderful wife and two healthy and well behaving teenagers ( yes it's possible)

I've given in on a daily basis for 25 years always Bc I wanted to serve my own desires. I am learning that I can be the person god created me to be if i remain sober