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-   -   Playing my Addiction Game (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/281354-playing-my-addiction-game.html)

escapist 01-18-2013 08:29 AM

Playing my Addiction Game
 
The rules are: Procrastinate. Exhaust all "painless" solutions. Avoid suffering at all costs.
Thats me.
I am on my second round of antibiotics for lung infection.
I have been given an inhaler for COPD.
I have a "starter pack" of Chantix. $200.00 btw
I am smoking right now.

I read some stories about using Chantix. One guy went on a drinking binge while taking it. That TERRIFIED me for obvious reasons.

When I attempted to quit drinking I went to the same Dr I see now. She is fully aware of my alcoholism. I asked if taking this drug would cause problems for me. She asserted NO.

This is how I tried to quit drinking. Went to the Dr. asked for help. First Campral. Then Antabuse. Sedatives. AA meetings. Therapists. I did all of this over the course of two years. I did everything but quit. This is why I am calling it a game.
In the end when I finally quit drinking it was me , a bathrobe, and this place.
So I look at my nicotine addiction and it looks like I have a pattern here.

I am curious if anyone here has tried Chantix? I have had the box on my table for 3 days now. I am scared of it. I am scared of suffering too.
But the truth is that I am not going to get better if I keep up my addiction. I imagine dying from this.

Cowards game.

Weasel1966 01-18-2013 10:06 AM

Escapist... It's the game of life huh?

I have done just about all the above. Camprel, rehab(s), therapists, drs threats about my liver, bad iron due to liver issues.

While I understand your reference to a game my experience feels far from fun. I know you don't mean it that way at all but I just wanted to say that.

It is a game if we treat it like one. Meaning never get serious enough to make it work. Even through all the "actions" I did playing the victim and claiming to need help I never really committed to being sober until recently. Now I am for a few weeks.

My point is you can do this.

Chantx helped my friend who smoked a lot. It does come with warning to take seriously. Of course we don't endorse medical things here :)

I have so much faith in you!

My best to you!

Ken

escapist 01-18-2013 10:15 AM

Yes. it's the most depressing game out there. I play it so well. I am a master escapist. For awhile. I'm sure Houdini had his failures too.

Dee74 01-18-2013 01:58 PM

I have no experience with Chantix - I've heard the horror stories but I've heard success stories too.

Have you spoken with another Dr about your concerns? would that help?

D

TTBABP 01-18-2013 02:04 PM

I quit cold turkey escapist so I can't advise about CHantix. I must say though that I truly belive that NO ONE in the world loved smoking as much as me and it was not easy to quit but I am coming up on a year - so it can be done!

Give it your best shot - good luck.

TrixMixer 01-18-2013 02:16 PM

Hi escapist,

I don't know how long you have been sober, but I waited 2 years after I quit drinking before I even tackled that.

Now you have some complications from smoking and I am going to assume this is a must for you right now.
When I quit they did not have Chantrix--so can't help you there, but I was put on an antidepressant, I think low dosage prozac. I think that may have helped me, I smoked 3 packs a day and quit the first week and never went back.

You might want to check with your doc and see if that would be a better alternative.....and staying away from people--because I was very B-----, but not nearly as bad as I expected.Just a thought.

soberlicious 01-18-2013 02:52 PM

Oh Escapist...
I want you to know that I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also want you to know that you are strong and you can do this. I quit six months ago, CT, and there were times I would have rather eaten my own arm from my body than have to ride out another craving. But I rode them hard. That intensity only lasted through the first week, then it just got progressively easier. The cravings are now few and far between, and fleeting when they do come.

I used to say "well, I'm going to die from something, might as well be smoking", but you know...it's a horrible horrible way to die and horrible for your loved ones to watch.

I have faith in you, too. You have already proven to yourself that you are much stronger and more capable than when I first "met" you here.

xo

Anna 01-18-2013 02:55 PM

I have no experience with Chantix but I sure understand your concerns about using it. I hope you make the right choice for yourself.

mecanix 01-18-2013 03:15 PM

I gave up smoking before i gave up drinking , 7 years ago now before my mums illness .

My mum has emphysemia i'm her full time carer , she can only walk 10m or one flight of stairs before getting puffed out . It really is awful to see her gasping for air after relatively mild exertion, like a fish on the sand .

I read all i could about how bad it was and reminded myself of it every day , I threw the tobacco into the fire and just stopped it .

I hope you stop

Bestwishes, M

escapist 01-18-2013 04:42 PM

What is wrong with me and addiction? I am so hooked on stuff that alters me. Thank God I never tried heroin. I know I will be grateful if I quit. I know everything good about freedom from addiction. I am living it. Addictions and logic are not compatible partners. AV , moral weakness, abnormal cells in my brain , I dont know. It's all me.

I just realized something. All of this crap I am going through? I have not thought about drinking once.

vegibean 01-18-2013 04:53 PM

I don't recommend it because of all of the "bad" stories I've heard of. When I quit smoking two years ago, I did it using what I knew from quitting alcohol. I bought the patches that helped me drop my nicotine levels, and I did NOT do foods as an exchange out, I did tea tree oil toothpicks and I just chewed on them.

Part of addiction is psychological so getting past the first 30 days is crucial, if you can do that, you're good.

Have you ever worked a 12 step program?

One of my sponsors wanted to quit smoking and she posted on Facebook "The doctor says I need to quit smoking, and I don't know how I'm going to do this..." I posted back to her, "Are you serious?"

You're quitting another addiction, and the patches help you wean yourself off slowly. Get some gum too, and stay busy, and flavored toothpicks of any kind I think would work.

Anyway, that's what worked for me, AND I had heard about Chantix, but after hearing the stories, not what I wanted to put myself through mentally.

***THAT IS JUST MY OPINION*** Do what you think will work for you. ;)

FreeFall 01-18-2013 08:50 PM

I've heard some scary stuff about Chantix so when I'm ready to slay the next dragon I don't think I'd want to try that. I've heard it works well for some people though so tough call. My friend just started using one of those electronic cigs and hasn't smoked in a couple of weeks.

Most of us smoke more when we drink, so you have probably already cut back without even thinking much about it. I think if you have it in you to stop drinking, you can use same tools and motivation to stop smoking too. Try not to think of yourself as addictive-it makes it all harder somehow.


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