OnMyOwn23

Ok, so this is new to me... Long story short, my sports career was cut short due to a lot of injuries... To name a few - compound fracture of the femur which required multiple surgeries, and also being ejected from the pickup truck of a vehicle that flipped into the woods at 50mph where I broke multiple bones in my left leg, blew out the left knee, broke ribs, ruptured discs in my back and neck, broken hand, broken arm, etc... Also, had my appendix rupture, and broke my wrist playing football as well to name a few... Anyway, I have always had access to pain meds through my doctor with a script. I didn't quite abuse them but rather pushed my body to the limit at times (ex: triathlons, mma, basketball, etc) and sometimes would have flare ups... However, I did start to like the euphoric feeling as well... About 1.5 years ago I lost not only my best friend, but my next door neighbor growing up, my roommate throughout college, and the closest thing I have ever had to a brother (I am only child). Shortly after I began to abuse pain meds because I was also happening to be dealing with a recent knee surgery right before he passed away and I felt like the pills numbed me out as well as I was a mess (and on the verge of suicidal)... It throw me for a curveball, but I ended up getting my act together soon after. From there I met a great girlfriend... But partway through our relationship, another one of my friends committed suicide and I relapsed. I might have shut myself off from my ex-gf at that time... I felt trapped in my situation and it grew worse and it seemed that I was living a double life with my girlfriend... I wanted to get clean, but I didnt want to miss work (I work for a family business and have it lined up for me to own the business in the future so I do not want to mess that up), or disappoint within the relationship ... Now that the relationship is long gone and I have plenty of regrets that I do not know whether or not I will ever come to terms with or be able to explain to my ex-gf... I decided to get my **** together once and for all. This time I feel like I am doing it for all the right reasons and I am mentally stronger than ever before... Just have had enough, had a great job and promising life. I quit cold turkey and now I am on day 9. I just am still struggling hardcore.... Today I started to see double vision with lights in my eye sight... I pounded some water bottles and it slowly went away (perhaps has to do with Neurons firing and needing to stay hydrated)... Anyway, I have been reading up online A LOT and it helps. I have not disconnected myself from everybody, but I have had the power to say no and tell them to **** off (I am not the type of guy that ppl mess with when I am serious). Anyway, I think I am past the acute symptoms (almost), and I am curious to know what the difference between the acute and PAWS really are... Looking forward to see what I can plan to expect in the future... I feel like having a plan and some friends here will help me to succeed... My sleeping schedule has suuuucked so bad and wake up with hot & cold flashes... Would greatly appreciate any input... This time I know that I am doing it all for the right reasons. I have NO DESIRE to relapse (and scared to since I understand that if I were to relapse then the next withdrawal detox will be even worse). Whenever I get a thought I push it out and do something productive. I take the negative energy/feelings and try not to dwell on them and instead use them for good... I have taken L-Tyrosine and a mulit-vitamin. I have read the Thomas Recipe too (for what it is worth). It has been hard to eat with my stomach going through crazy inside/out feelings. My stomach is the worst in the morning... I understand that there are receptors in the GI tract and that it will take time because they have been damaged by the opiates and synthetic chemicals... I have been shoving down vegetables and fruit and healthy food... Any suggestions would greatly help. Thank you and much love! This means sooooo much to me and I am putting my heart on my sleeve here.

sugarbear1

Glad you found us.

What did you detox from and when is your sober date?

Dee74

Hi OnMyOwn
welcome aboard

This is the best PAWs link I know of
PAWS « Digital Dharma

If you're having problems like double vision tho, I think it's time to call in and see a medical professional?

D

Hevyn

It's great to have you here. Please continue to post and let us know how you're doing. You're never alone - there are people here from all over who understand what you're going through and want to help.

artsoul

Welcome OnMyOwn!

Sounds like you're off to a great start. My addiction was to alcohol as opposed to pills, but to a certain extent I think we all go through a lot of the same things.

From what I've read (and experienced), you can still see improvements for a year or two after withdrawal. It doesn't always go in a straight line, though (hence the experience of PAWS)...... more like a few steps forward and one back.

Taking it one day at a time (and the support here) really helped me get through those "one step back" days. Glad you're here!

OnMyOwn23

Wow. Thank you so much everybody. This means so much to me to have so much support and love.

Anna

Welcome, and we do understand how hard this is.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

OnMyOwn23

Roxi... Was on for about 6-8 months then off for like 3-4 months then back on for at least 1 year or so... Then started to cut back slowly, now just stopped had enough.

I have been doing a lot of reading about how the brain works in relation to the opiates and how my brain will have to level out over time.

OnMyOwn23

Wish I could get a good nights sleep.

Any suggestions to deal with this? Multi-vitamins? L-Tyrosine? Adderall to get through work without being a zombie? Caffeine?

Dee74

we can share our experience in a general way, but we have a no medical advice rule here OnMyOwn.

I was an alcoholic, I didn't take anything to help (apart from a multi vit) and the sleep thing levelled out for me after a week or two

D

OnMyOwn23

True. I understand... Not looking for an MD on here... Thought it might help to connect with ppl who have been through similar scenarios and have overcome... Looking for support and any idea I can get about what is going on... I feel like having a plan will make it better for me...

Also, if I am kicking opiates, is it bad (from a personal or inherited opinion and not a medical opinion) for me to go out with friends on the wkend and drink? Do you think that may hinder my recovery?

Delilah1

Welcome to SR!!!

ruserius247

Onmyown- I had a lot of stomach problems when I sobered up. Gatorade, water, fruit juice, and brothy soups helped me. I was told to stay away from milk, dairy products, and heavy meals until I felt better.

As far as, sleep goes. It took a couple of weeks to get settled down and get a good sleep regimen back. During that time benadryl capsules helped me to fall asleep. My sister, an RN, suggested that to me as a sleep aid, if tylenol or aspirin were not working.

Dee74

I've never been addicted to opiates so I can't give you any kind of specific answer.

Cross addiction (stopping our drug of choice and then getting addicted to something else) is a real risk tho - I went from marijuana to booze that way.

From your story, it looks like you have a history of addiction beyond opiates, so personally? I'd be very very careful of the behaviours I indulged in now.

D

OnMyOwn23

No haven't ever had any issue with addiction before in my life. I don't like to drink that often as a matter of fact but I'm 27 and if I want to go out on the wkend and drink just wondering if that would be bad...

P.S. I slept for maybe 1-2 hours and now I can't sleep... My lower back is killing me so bad. I know I have ruptured discs in my back and haven't been hitting the gym to do strengthening exercises and ab work but wow this pain is killer. Almost feel like my mind is playing tricks w me...

ruserius247

p.s. drinking will not help your stomach issues

You are still a young guy, but I can tell you from experience that in the next few years your body is not going to heal as quickly. I was in great shape through my twenties and at thirty-five, I still look young.
However, when I hit thirty-one or so, I noticed a huge difference in my metabolism and overall energy. I think everything just slowed down inside of me. Also, drinking really started to affect me negatively. Would take days, instead of hours to get past a hangover.

Not saying this will happen to you like that. But it might be a good idea to be thinking about that. Take advantage of your awesome immune system while you can, it gets a LOT harder to get past things like withdrawals the older you are.

OnMyOwn23

Ruserius247 - thank you! I appreciate your input and will definitely be buying up some Gatorade and coconut water tomorrow plus the Tylenol PM isn't really knocking me out enough to sleep so maybe ill try some Benadryl... I can't wait to get a good nights sleep and feel fresh in the morning. I seriously long for that day.

shartattack

First, you seem *determined* and already at day 9 , so you are going to beat this. You don't need the optimal plan, and even the best will only be sugarcoated misery.

Personally I'd try to avoid the risk of drinking on the weekends with your friends this early. I feel it'd be easy to slip and convince myself for a moment to use again. Physically I have no clue if alcohol messes with opiate withdrawal or anything. And adderall might not be a great idea (it's addicting too).

I tend to have poor and disruptive sleep in general and worse when withdrawing. It tends to slowly settle over a few weeks, but really sucks at first. I've used melatonin (look it up) and think it was subtly helpful in getting to sleep at a decent time. Still you have to ride it out in withdrawal. I don't think tyrosine is what you meant -- maybe tryptophan like the seinfeld turkey episode Keeping with regular exercise has helped my sleep too.

I cannot imagine rehabbing a back injury like that. Have you considered swimming? I've shifted toward swimming in the past when injuries arose. It might put less pressure on the discs? Maybe worth asking your doc?

Dee74

Be careful of benadryl - it's not actually a sleep aid...and while it may work for some others here @ SR have found themselves addicted to it.

That's one of the reasons why we have a no medical advice rule here, and I'd ask people to remember that.

I think it's far better to see your Dr if you think you need medication to help sleep.

D

Dee74

welcome to SR sharkattack - good to have you join us too

D