Hi, BabyJane. Sorry to hear you are going through hard times now.
I think that we are either happy in our relationships, or not. SObriety has little to do with it, just when we drink we prefer to "hide head in the sand". Or in a bottle. My situation wasn't exactly like yours, but I can relate. Anyway, I regained my own self only when started to live alone again. Maybe, consider sharing some place with other girl so you could split expenses? Not an advice, just a thought.
And, please, do not reach for a drink as a stress-reliever. You know, it will only make it worse.
My best wishes to you.
I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real.
"Normal" is not something to aspire to. It's something to get away from.
The first step to success is getting out of your own way. Never explain, never complain