Open Mouth. Inset Foot - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

dogmamma · 11-14-2012, 03:12 PM

So I came back to check in and to admit I was wrong. This never happens (the me being wrong part I meant

)

When I first started on this board, I was adamant about 2 things: my job was far too important to walk off and get treatment for alcoholism and that AA was not for me. Wrong and wrong.

I ended having a relapse that should get some kind award for. It was spectacular in its destructiveness. I had to have people fly in to help me and my daughter. All I did morning, noon, and night was sit on my living room floor and drink while everyone else bore the brunt of my responsibilities at work and at home. I finally decided to check myself into a facility.

The facility had a good reputation, but it was a filthy hole. Never mind that part though. While I was there and attended an AA meeting. It brought me to tears to have everyone's words echo every sentiment I've had about drinking. Also, the true compassion and support from those who have to fight along side of you stunned me. It made me want to band together so that alcohol would never have the power to hurt us again.

When treatment was over, I called my boss and he said he would find a way for us to PR our way out. As I was looking for flights back to TN (my new "home") from CA (my actual home), it hit me that that seeming glamorous and high paying job was going to cost me my life eventually. I would relapse again in again if I didn't stay in CA where I have a support system and where I can focus on recovering.

So now, I have accepted a simpler life. I had all the things. It won't save you. Support will. Commitment will. I can't explain how good it feels to be home where I can hug a person and not a bottle. Find support, people. It doesn't have to be AA, but someone needs to have your back to win this fight.

Sorry so long winded

***Hevyn*** · 11-14-2012, 03:16 PM

I remember you dogmama.

I'm so thankful you found help and are reclaiming your life. Good of you to let us know, too - it will be inspiring for others to read. So happy for you.

CaiHong · 11-14-2012, 03:22 PM

Dogmama,
So glad you made it back. You sound well on the way to recovery. AA has been a big part of my recovery and nearly 18 months sober I am still discovering what a really great program it is.
Love
CaiHong

**Impurrfect** · 11-14-2012, 03:22 PM

((dogmama)) - Good for YOU!! I had some pretty strong beliefs about what I couldn't do, too, but nothing like hitting another bottom to make me think differently.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

stairs · 11-14-2012, 03:26 PM

You are so right on, dogmamma! "Stuff" doesn't mean much. I loved reading your post. Thank you.

Delilah1 · 11-14-2012, 04:35 PM

Sounds like you have made a step (flight) in the right direction. I am sure it was difficult to give up your life in CA, but good for you for making a positive choice for you and your daughter.

***Anna*** · 11-14-2012, 04:52 PM

I also found that early recovery involved some really tough decisions for me. It's the time when you have to be deeply honest with yourself in order to save your life. Good for you!

Windancer · 11-14-2012, 05:10 PM

Thanks so much for that

. My recent relapse should have gotten an award too. Im lucky I didnt end up in jail or the nuttery. Your story is inspiring!

Pondlady · 11-14-2012, 05:20 PM

Thank you for such a positive and genuine post

Sounds like you have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.

nonblondechef · 11-14-2012, 05:35 PM

So happy for you. Congratulations!

11-14-2012, 03:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
dogmamma Guest Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 115	Open Mouth. Inset Foot So I came back to check in and to admit I was wrong. This never happens (the me being wrong part I meant ) When I first started on this board, I was adamant about 2 things: my job was far too important to walk off and get treatment for alcoholism and that AA was not for me. Wrong and wrong. I ended having a relapse that should get some kind award for. It was spectacular in its destructiveness. I had to have people fly in to help me and my daughter. All I did morning, noon, and night was sit on my living room floor and drink while everyone else bore the brunt of my responsibilities at work and at home. I finally decided to check myself into a facility. The facility had a good reputation, but it was a filthy hole. Never mind that part though. While I was there and attended an AA meeting. It brought me to tears to have everyone's words echo every sentiment I've had about drinking. Also, the true compassion and support from those who have to fight along side of you stunned me. It made me want to band together so that alcohol would never have the power to hurt us again. When treatment was over, I called my boss and he said he would find a way for us to PR our way out. As I was looking for flights back to TN (my new "home") from CA (my actual home), it hit me that that seeming glamorous and high paying job was going to cost me my life eventually. I would relapse again in again if I didn't stay in CA where I have a support system and where I can focus on recovering. So now, I have accepted a simpler life. I had all the things. It won't save you. Support will. Commitment will. I can't explain how good it feels to be home where I can hug a person and not a bottle. Find support, people. It doesn't have to be AA, but someone needs to have your back to win this fight. Sorry so long winded

11-14-2012, 03:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
*Hevyn* Learning to live again Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 11,103	I remember you dogmama. I'm so thankful you found help and are reclaiming your life. Good of you to let us know, too - it will be inspiring for others to read. So happy for you. __________________ You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. - Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson

11-14-2012, 03:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Impurrfect Social Network Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 25,193	((dogmama)) - Good for YOU!! I had some pretty strong beliefs about what I couldn't do, too, but nothing like hitting another bottom to make me think differently. Hugs and prayers, Amy __________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer "You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain (Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches and Mots - Mouth Of The South)

11-14-2012, 03:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
stairs Peace Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1,137 Blog Entries: 72	You are so right on, dogmamma! "Stuff" doesn't mean much. I loved reading your post. Thank you. __________________ Clean Date 08~20~12

11-14-2012, 04:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
Delilah1 Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: San Diego Posts: 1,700	Sounds like you have made a step (flight) in the right direction. I am sure it was difficult to give up your life in CA, but good for you for making a positive choice for you and your daughter. __________________ Delilah “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” ― Ernest Hemingway

11-14-2012, 03:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
CaiHong Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,741	Dogmama, So glad you made it back. You sound well on the way to recovery. AA has been a big part of my recovery and nearly 18 months sober I am still discovering what a really great program it is. Love CaiHong

11-14-2012, 04:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 27,813	I also found that early recovery involved some really tough decisions for me. It's the time when you have to be deeply honest with yourself in order to save your life. Good for you! __________________ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Marianne Willianson

11-14-2012, 05:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
Windancer Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern Ontario, Canada Posts: 760	Thanks so much for that . My recent relapse should have gotten an award too. Im lucky I didnt end up in jail or the nuttery. Your story is inspiring! __________________ The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

11-14-2012, 05:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
Pondlady Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,331	Thank you for such a positive and genuine post Sounds like you have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. __________________

11-14-2012, 05:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
nonblondechef Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Home - there's no place like Home Posts: 974	So happy for you. Congratulations! __________________ "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." - Jeff Hanna and Matraca Berg

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