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|11-14-2012, 03:12 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Open Mouth. Inset Foot
So I came back to check in and to admit I was wrong. This never happens (the me being wrong part I meant )
When I first started on this board, I was adamant about 2 things: my job was far too important to walk off and get treatment for alcoholism and that AA was not for me. Wrong and wrong.
I ended having a relapse that should get some kind award for. It was spectacular in its destructiveness. I had to have people fly in to help me and my daughter. All I did morning, noon, and night was sit on my living room floor and drink while everyone else bore the brunt of my responsibilities at work and at home. I finally decided to check myself into a facility.
The facility had a good reputation, but it was a filthy hole. Never mind that part though. While I was there and attended an AA meeting. It brought me to tears to have everyone's words echo every sentiment I've had about drinking. Also, the true compassion and support from those who have to fight along side of you stunned me. It made me want to band together so that alcohol would never have the power to hurt us again.
When treatment was over, I called my boss and he said he would find a way for us to PR our way out. As I was looking for flights back to TN (my new "home") from CA (my actual home), it hit me that that seeming glamorous and high paying job was going to cost me my life eventually. I would relapse again in again if I didn't stay in CA where I have a support system and where I can focus on recovering.
So now, I have accepted a simpler life. I had all the things. It won't save you. Support will. Commitment will. I can't explain how good it feels to be home where I can hug a person and not a bottle. Find support, people. It doesn't have to be AA, but someone needs to have your back to win this fight.
Sorry so long winded
|The Following 25 Users Say Thank You to dogmamma For This Useful Post:|| |
artsoul (11-14-2012), aussieblue (11-14-2012), CaiHong (11-14-2012), ChooChooTrain (11-14-2012), Delilah1 (11-14-2012), DNVR (11-14-2012), elihoping (11-14-2012), foodie1 (11-15-2012), freeatlast1313 (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), FreeFall (11-14-2012), Hevyn (11-14-2012), Impurrfect (11-14-2012), jennikate (11-14-2012), Mark75 (11-14-2012), MycoolFitz (11-14-2012), nonblondechef (11-14-2012), Pondlady (11-14-2012), Quinne (11-14-2012), Sasha4 (11-14-2012), sissy07 (11-14-2012), solstice3 (11-14-2012), sugarbear1 (11-14-2012), topspin (11-14-2012), Windancer (11-14-2012)
|11-14-2012, 03:16 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Learning to live again
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
I remember you dogmama. I'm so thankful you found help and are reclaiming your life. Good of you to let us know, too - it will be inspiring for others to read. So happy for you.
You are so much more than the worst thing you've
ever done. - Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries
Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
|11-14-2012, 03:22 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2011
So glad you made it back. You sound well on the way to recovery. AA has been a big part of my recovery and nearly 18 months sober I am still discovering what a really great program it is.
|The Following User Says Thank You to CaiHong For This Useful Post:|
|11-14-2012, 03:22 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Social Network Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2007
((dogmama)) - Good for YOU!! I had some pretty strong beliefs about what I couldn't do, too, but nothing like hitting another bottom to make me think differently.
Hugs and prayers,
"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer
"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain
(Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches [RIP] and Mots - Mouth Of The South)
|The Following User Says Thank You to Impurrfect For This Useful Post:|
|11-14-2012, 03:26 PM||#5 (permalink)|
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Blog Entries: 72
You are so right on, dogmamma! "Stuff" doesn't mean much. I loved reading your post. Thank you.
Clean Date 08~20~12
|The Following User Says Thank You to stairs For This Useful Post:|
|11-14-2012, 04:35 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: San Diego
Sounds like you have made a step (flight) in the right direction. I am sure it was difficult to give up your life in CA, but good for you for making a positive choice for you and your daughter.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway
|The Following User Says Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:|
|11-14-2012, 04:52 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
I also found that early recovery involved some really tough decisions for me. It's the time when you have to be deeply honest with yourself in order to save your life. Good for you!
|The Following User Says Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:|
|11-14-2012, 05:10 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Thanks so much for that . My recent relapse should have gotten an award too. Im lucky I didnt end up in jail or the nuttery. Your story is inspiring!
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
|The Following User Says Thank You to Windancer For This Useful Post:|
|11-14-2012, 05:20 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Thank you for such a positive and genuine post Sounds like you have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.
|11-14-2012, 05:35 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
So happy for you. Congratulations!
"God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." - Jeff Hanna and Matraca Berg
|The Following User Says Thank You to nonblondechef For This Useful Post:|
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