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Old 11-14-2012, 04:12 PM   #1 (permalink)

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Red face Open Mouth. Inset Foot

So I came back to check in and to admit I was wrong. This never happens (the me being wrong part I meant )

When I first started on this board, I was adamant about 2 things: my job was far too important to walk off and get treatment for alcoholism and that AA was not for me. Wrong and wrong.

I ended having a relapse that should get some kind award for. It was spectacular in its destructiveness. I had to have people fly in to help me and my daughter. All I did morning, noon, and night was sit on my living room floor and drink while everyone else bore the brunt of my responsibilities at work and at home. I finally decided to check myself into a facility.

The facility had a good reputation, but it was a filthy hole. Never mind that part though. While I was there and attended an AA meeting. It brought me to tears to have everyone's words echo every sentiment I've had about drinking. Also, the true compassion and support from those who have to fight along side of you stunned me. It made me want to band together so that alcohol would never have the power to hurt us again.

When treatment was over, I called my boss and he said he would find a way for us to PR our way out. As I was looking for flights back to TN (my new "home") from CA (my actual home), it hit me that that seeming glamorous and high paying job was going to cost me my life eventually. I would relapse again in again if I didn't stay in CA where I have a support system and where I can focus on recovering.

So now, I have accepted a simpler life. I had all the things. It won't save you. Support will. Commitment will. I can't explain how good it feels to be home where I can hug a person and not a bottle. Find support, people. It doesn't have to be AA, but someone needs to have your back to win this fight.

Sorry so long winded
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
Learning to live again
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I remember you dogmama. I'm so thankful you found help and are reclaiming your life. Good of you to let us know, too - it will be inspiring for others to read. So happy for you.
Expect the dawn of a new beginning in the dark nights of your life. Lloyd Ogilvie

You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

We are only free to move forward when we remove the emotional shackles of regret.

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Old 11-14-2012, 04:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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So glad you made it back. You sound well on the way to recovery. AA has been a big part of my recovery and nearly 18 months sober I am still discovering what a really great program it is.
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
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((dogmama)) - Good for YOU!! I had some pretty strong beliefs about what I couldn't do, too, but nothing like hitting another bottom to make me think differently.

Hugs and prayers,

"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain

(Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches [RIP] and Mots - Mouth Of The South)
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
...not falling down them
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You are so right on, dogmamma! "Stuff" doesn't mean much. I loved reading your post. Thank you.
Free of Alcohol and Drugs since 08~20~12
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:35 PM   #6 (permalink)

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Sounds like you have made a step (flight) in the right direction. I am sure it was difficult to give up your life in CA, but good for you for making a positive choice for you and your daughter.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I also found that early recovery involved some really tough decisions for me. It's the time when you have to be deeply honest with yourself in order to save your life. Good for you!

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.

Paul McCartney
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Old 11-14-2012, 06:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thanks so much for that . My recent relapse should have gotten an award too. Im lucky I didnt end up in jail or the nuttery. Your story is inspiring!
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
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Old 11-14-2012, 06:20 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thank you for such a positive and genuine post Sounds like you have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.

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Old 11-14-2012, 06:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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So happy for you. Congratulations!
"God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." - Jeff Hanna and Matraca Berg
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