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|11-14-2012, 02:28 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2012
Abstain or is it possible to moderate
Hi all, I am here as I generally binge drink every weekend! I'm not dependant on alcohol however once I have a couple of drinks I lose control and don't know when to stop. It's causing me lots of problems, as I black out every time. My drinking is upsetting friends and family as Its not unusual for me to ruin events by my ott drinking. The thing is when I tell people that I think I need to stop drinking they tell me that I'm fine and I just need to learn how to control. They don't seem to understand once I have more than say 2 I just think sod it lets have fun, you only live once.The other day I was invited out and I thought I don't want to be an idiot and get wasted so I tried to be aware of how much I was drinking the next thing I know I wake up, no idea how I got there and no recollection of the night before! Apparently I had fell asleep whilst I was out then threw up everywhere. I don't know what to do! Do I need to abstain from alcohol completely or is there a way I can control it ?
|11-14-2012, 02:30 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: The Brew.
I think you answered your own question.
You've tried to control it, and can't.
Same with me.
But I tried and tried and tried for years before I figured that out.
Good luck to you!
|11-14-2012, 02:31 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Just livin' the dream
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Somewhere Out There
The other day I was invited out and I thought I don't want to be an idiot and get wasted so I tried to be aware of how much I was drinking the next thing I know I wake up, no idea how I got there and no recollection of the night before! Apparently I had fell asleep whilst I was out then threw up everywhere.
Sounds like you tried to control it the other day. Did it work? Moderation, or controlling our drinking is not possible. A normal drinker doesn't have to try to control their drinking, they just do it naturally.
Welcome to SR. We are here to support you if you decide you want to stop drinking.
"So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key."
- The Eagles
"We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words."
- Anna Sewell
|11-14-2012, 02:32 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
It seems that you have tried to control it and you can't. A lot of people can't as well. No biggie really. Why don't you stop for a while and see how things go. I bet you won't find yourself falling asleep and throwing up everywhere!
I think your friends are just trying to be helpful, but they drink normally. People like us don't.
“Writing is good, thinking is better. Cleverness is good, patience is better.”
― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
|11-14-2012, 02:32 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2012
I tried to moderate for 18 months and failed. Each binge getting worse. I chose to go to AA and seek help. I am on 20 days and feel much less tortured when I go out.
Only you can decide but for me, I tried and failed at control. I am powerless over alcohol!
Why don't you try 60-90 days of drinking nothing and see how you feel?
Nothing changes if nothing changes
|11-14-2012, 02:36 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: The Brew.
Someone here said something the other day that really struck a chord with me..
"I've never woken up as a sober person and thought to myself, 'Dang! I wish I would have gone out drinking last night.'"
Just thought I'd add that.
|11-14-2012, 02:46 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
I used to be a binge drinker, I didn't drink on the days I was working, but oh how I made up for it on the days I wasn't. I've tried moderating, only drinking at week ends, not having a drink until 21.00, doesn't work, unlike 'normal drinkers' I don't have a stop button. Once I start there is no such thing as 'no thank you, I've had enough.' Abstinence is the only thing that works for me and my life is a whole lot better for it!
Give it a go, you're worth it!
No longer a disgrace. Sober birthday: 19 August 2012
“The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.”
|11-14-2012, 02:47 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
'The less I needed, the better I felt' - Charles Bukowski
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|11-14-2012, 02:55 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Blog Entries: 1
Like others have said, I think you already know the answer to your question...?
some of us just can't control it - no matter how good our intentions are, once we introduce alcohol into our system all bets are off....we change.
I'm sure your friends are well meaning but unless you've experienced that reaction for yourself I don't think you can't really understand what it means not to have control.
There are many many of us here enjoying great lives without alcohol
It's meant a lot of changes for me from the way I used to live, but it's been worth it
welcome to SR
|11-14-2012, 03:59 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
I was a weekend binger for a yr or two. But I thought I really like drinking so I began every other day. I built a tolerance for it so I had to increase the amounts to get the same effect.
I was proud of how as a small woman, i could out drink men 3x's my size (pitiful, in retrospect)
Then I would binge one day, recoup the entire next day. Rinse & repeat for another year.
Then I began drinking daily b/c it eased my hangover & it helped with the horrible shakes & anxiety I was developing. Then I was sneaking it, hiding how much I was drinking from everyone. Rinse & repeat for yrs.
Alcohol dependence develops progressively. It doesn't seem to be reversible for most people.
I hope you can figure it all out before it takes you over like it did me.
|11-14-2012, 04:08 PM||#12 (permalink)|
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Bingegirl I'm 2 years, 4 months sober, and it's either drink all the time or not at all. Since every person who drinks isn't an alcoholic yes it can be controlled. Possibly you could set a time period in which you would only drink a certain amount and determine whether you can control it or not.
Success is making yourself do the thing you need to do when you need to do it whether you like it or not.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
|11-14-2012, 04:09 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2012
Hi and welcome bingedrinker.
I also tried to control my drinking for years and years but instead on controlling it *drinking* it controlled me.
Thankfully due to the help and support of SR and AA I'm now sober and content.
Best wishes with your decision. Take care. Hope to hear more from you soon.
|11-14-2012, 04:18 PM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Welcome. I cannot add much to what has already been said but as someone here said once:
There is great support here. Keep posting.
It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation
Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".
|11-14-2012, 04:21 PM||#15 (permalink)|
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Blog Entries: 3
Hey BingeGirl I think your name gives it away. NO matter your in a great place
...And like a bird that's on the wing and is flying free
He can hear the song of home endlessly
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|11-14-2012, 05:11 PM||#16 (permalink)|
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Blog Entries: 31
Do you think you can control your drinking? I tried moderating a lot - never worked. I gave it up completely and am happier than I've been in a long time.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.
Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.
Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus
Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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|11-14-2012, 05:11 PM||#17 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Melbourne VIC
like you I only drank on weekends and went through multiple stages of thinking I could control my drinking, the last time I drank I had promised myself that exact same thing - I'm not going to get hammered this weekend, but I went out and did it anyway. I realised that it just is not possible for me to control my drinking and believe me I tried MANY times to control it and people said the same thing to me - oh your fine don't worry. but I did worry because it bothered me that I was the token drunk girl, I didn't respect myself and what for? Just to get drunk and have "fun" because fun is clearly not remembering anything and waking up feeling sick and embarrassed for the next couple days!
I haven't had a drink for nearly 15 weeks and some days it's definitely challenging but I promise you it is far more rewarding than getting sh!tfaced every weekend, just try it out for 3-6 months and see how you feel. what have you got to lose?
|11-14-2012, 05:20 PM||#18 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Bingegirl - Purplecatlover and I are 10 months sober today. Our lives parallelled each other in many ways as drunks, and they now shine brightly in the world of sobriety. It is so wonderful waking up unhung and ready for the day and all it holds being 100% in the moment. Sobriety = shamelessness. I hope you will join us all on this amazing journey! Hugs, NBC
"God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." - Jeff Hanna and Matraca Berg
|11-14-2012, 06:09 PM||#19 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2011
|11-15-2012, 02:44 AM||#20 (permalink)|
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Blog Entries: 64
If it only takes a drink or two before you lose control, then it would appear that you can't moderate because even one drink leads to loss of control.
BUT, when you don't drink (since you are a binger) you seem to not have issues of losing control of either your drinking or behavior.
Based on what you've shared, I would say you cannot moderate and you would save yourself a lot of heartache (and probably money) if you just quit.
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|binge, blackout, moderate, social, weekends|
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