Goals and Milestones - what are yours?

[nonblondechef]

I've been seen many postings lately with regard to both goals and milestones. I would love to read how we members approach them; how they affect us; and once they have been attained, what new ones may be set or is that the end of the chapter.

I'm hugely goal driven in most everything I do. Frankly, when I don't have a goal to focus on, I'm lost and then boredom sets in, followed by complacency. My current sobriety goal is one year, come January. I simply cannot wait to get there and nothing is going to stand in my way of that achievement. I feel more driven and passionate about the journey today than I did yesterday.

Tell us how you approach these situations - what a great learning experience this will be!

[flutter]

At first each day was a goal, then a week, one month, 3 months, 6, a year, and so on. But at this point in my journey, none of my goals focus around my old drinking life. I'll have been sober for 4 years come December and it's honestly not a thought in my mind, which I guess is a huge goal in and of itself! Now my goals and milestones are more involved with work, my marriage, my toddler..just regular life stuff.

[renaldo]

Originally Posted by flutter

At first each day was a goal, then a week, one month, 3 months, 6, a year, and so on. But at this point in my journey, none of my goals focus around my old drinking life. I'll have been sober for 4 years come December and it's honestly not a thought in my mind, which I guess is a huge goal in and of itself! Now my goals and milestones are more involved with work, my marriage, my toddler..just regular life stuff.

I'm curious why people continue to surround themselves with discussion of alcohol when they say they don't think about it anymore. Is there some point when you can just move on and quit having anything to do with it? Giving back may be part of the reason. I'm more selfish than that. I'm giving here because it keeps me from being trapped in my own head, but if I could get to the point where I didn't think about alcohol anymore, I would grab that and run and just devote my energy elsewhere.

There are other ways to give back to my fellow humans which I'm sure I would do. I have to think about alcohol right now, but I look forward to the day when I can say, 'yeah I used to drink or not drink and think about it a lot, but that part of my life is over now.'

If I ever do get to that point, of course I would help anyone if it came up in conversation and they asked me how I got over it, but it gets kind of tiresome thinking about it in one fashion or another for large chunks of the day.

[hypochondriac]

Milestones are really useful to me, something to focus on when I feel despondent. For example, I have a party I have to go to on the 27th and I was worried that I might slip, but then I remembered that the 28th is my sobriety date and I would never let anything get in the way of reaching another month sober I initially subscribed to the AVRT suggestion of not counting days though, because why count the days of something you don't do anymore, and early on it was excruciating... the days passed really slowly and I hated hearing about other peoples sober time because it seemed like such a long time and I thought I'd never make it. Now I am skipping along and can't wait to be sober 20 years! I hope that I never forget how much of an achievement being sober is in itself and that I am always grateful for it.

[Anna]

It never gets tiresome for me to come here and possibly help someone who is new and struggling. I've been sober for 11 years and I am still thrilled to be in recovery. Recovery for me doesn't focus on alcohol, it focuses on living the best life that I can. Coming here reminds me to let go of things I can't control and to focus on the moment and find joy in the simple things of life.

Like Flutter, my goals focus on my marriage, my children and grandchildren, my job and being the best person I can be.

[zeroptzero]

I am extremely grateful to be able to hear from people who have had success in achieving and maintaining sobriety. I do not think that the Newcomers section would work if it consisted of only questions like "How do I get through this?" "Does it get better?" with no one there to provide encouragement based on experience.
Also, I think that when something is a component of someone's successful recovery, be it SR, AA etc. it is not a good idea to walk away from it once you feel some security in your sobriety. I believe most people have found, myself included, that keeping sobriety does require some preventative maintenance.
NBC - you are doing a great job!

[flutter]

Originally Posted by renaldo

I'm curious why people continue to surround themselves with discussion of alcohol when they say they don't think about it anymore. Is there some point when you can just move on and quit having anything to do with it? Giving back may be part of the reason. I'm more selfish than that. I'm giving here because it keeps me from being trapped in my own head, but if I could get to the point where I didn't think about alcohol anymore, I would grab that and run and just devote my energy elsewhere.

There are other ways to give back to my fellow humans which I'm sure I would do. I have to think about alcohol right now, but I look forward to the day when I can say, 'yeah I used to drink or not drink and think about it a lot, but that part of my life is over now.'

If I ever do get to that point, of course I would help anyone if it came up in conversation and they asked me how I got over it, but it gets kind of tiresome thinking about it in one fashion or another for large chunks of the day.

Giving back, staying connected to my recovery and the recovery world in general. While I never think about my own drinking, there are a lot of people out there (and here) that can use experience, strength and support.. and I'm all about that Just because I don't think about drinking, I'm not foolish enough to distance myself from addiction entirely, I'm vigilant.. and I try to be helpful. If a board like this was only full of people struggling, and they weren't able to see the light in our experience and stories, it'd be a pretty dark and aimless place.

[Purplecatlover]

Renaldo, I have asked myself the same thing. I am over 9 months sober, no desire or thought anymore, why should I stay here?

Lots of reasons....SR saved my life. The least I can do is share my experience.
When you finally break free from the chains that have bound you for so long, when you finally heal emotionally, physically &, spiritually, when you begin to live life, love life & become human again..... You can't keep that to yourself. You want others to see into your mind, to see how you accomplished it. Because we've all been locked in that prison, pacing, doing the same thing again & again, thinking you'll never get out.

Also,The people here are like family, I care about them. I like to see how they are doing.

I may not have desire now but addiction is ruthless & I know I can't become complacent.
Alcohol may not consume my every moment now but I still have much to learn. You can never know too much about what can destroy you quickly.

NBC, sorry to thread jack!
You know I'm so looking forward to our 1yr. But do you think you'll lose your zeal once its come & gone? Do you then look forward to 18 months, 2yrs,etc?
I have always had mixed feelings about counting b/c milestones cause others to stumble.
You have to keep raising the bar.
To me it is easier to say I will never drink again.
But that's me. I do like a pat on the back, like most people though

With that, I say

[nonblondechef]

I personally love to see people reach their goals. I never thought I was much of a scorekeeper, but perhaps I am. I don't like disappointing others. I wish that I could wave my wand over some I know and give them some of what I have found in sobriety. I do not preach, but I do walk the walk. I will absolutley continue to make tracks to hit my personal marks after January has come and gone. I have to have my eye on the prize or the carrot or brass ring - whatever you want to call it. I personally need to have something attainable and recordable. I would feel like I let down myself and so many others that resureccting my drinking career would ruin me. I could not live with the shame I know I would feel. There is too much love and too much to lose to go back out there. I will keep on climbing the mountain and lend a hand of encouragement when and if I can.

[Natom]

I don't have any set clean time goals. I just like being able to go to bed clean and sober at the end of each day. But I do have a goal to sort myself out with my own place and buy myself a motorbike within the next year. It's all very possible for me to do if I stay clean and sober

[ru12]

I continue to post because when I came here I was a mess and felt worthless. People here welcomed me. Wrote to me. Cared that I was hurting and struggling to get better. So I post to just on the off chance that I can help someone that was in my position. I helps me too.

[Itchy]

My goals had been reached early in my two plus years of sobriety. In fact in the first week, as far as drinking was concerned. The rest was healing and some scary moments with PAWS and Panic attacks that used a lot of support from here, AA and my Docs. Now I am recovered and stick around here because I am retired and have the time to do some support. And I think that I have a lot to give in return for the camaraderie here, and some mighty fine old friends now. In today's disposable world, keeping up a friend relationship without it being for any ulterior motives or agendas for two years is a long time.

My goals are to keep as active as I can online and off, and to nurture my personal relationships in a healthy way. My kids are grown and the grand daughters are all 15 -17 and not interested in us old fuddy duddys! (But they will bring their computers here if they break them or get infected! )

[Purplecatlover]

I'm not at all saying timekeeping is in any way bad.
I, too am overjoyed when others meet their milestones & celebrate happily with them.

[nonblondechef]

This sobriety journey is so wonderful in so many ways. The support, wisdom, happy's and crappy's, and overall sharing that is written here at SR is such a major part of my recovery that I firmly believe I would not have made it without it. My SR family continues to be my cornerstone and having wonderful, inspirational friends here keeps me keepin on. It's a wonderful tool we have at our fingertips - how lucky!!

[nonblondechef]

Fantastic goal, Close - I'm rooting for you!!

[renaldo]

Originally Posted by CloseToRecovery

i set one goal and try to attain that first, i am not going to overwhelm myself with a huge list. right now i am trying to make it until my next appointment with the outpatient treatment center, that is thursday after that who knows.

My goal is to not stress about the scheduling of my medical appointments while at the same time keeping on top of the phone calls necessary and to keep eating while it's all getting sorted out. It's so easy for me to not eat.

I also try to eat what I've got in the fridge before it goes bad, as long as it's healthy. I could easily eat a roll of Starburst candy even if I'm not hungry, but I've had a watermelon in the fridge for a month and it's still good. When I got hungry this morning, that was a pretty easy thing to eat some of. I got it at a food pantry. I've never bought a watermelon out of a desire to eat one, but hey, it was free, and how bad can watermelon be for you?

Some people in the medical profession say it's not good to eat before you go to bed (and I haven't gone to bed yet), but I'm underweight if anything and I have a hard time getting to sleep if I'm hungry. I don't get hungry that often, so when I do, I just eat something healthy, regardless of the time of night or morning.