Recovering from Pain Pills

[ettabishop]

Hello all,
I'm Etta and I'm obviously new. (No, username is not my real name, Fringe fans will get it!) I became addicted to pain pills in 2008 after shattering my pelvis. 10 months later, I was diagnosed with a chronic and painful (unrelated) illness for which pain pills were offered up like candy.

When I was offered my first pain pill in that hospital the night I shattered my pelvis, I refused it, being raised in a way to be veeery fearful of drugs and alcohol. I was 18 and very naive. After about 4 hours I caved because I was in so much pain, and the pill felt amazing. I knew instantly that I loved them. I have since tried pot, alcohol, benzos; hated them all - but narcotics, they hooked me at once. After the chronic illness diagnose, I gradually progressed from taking the pills recreationally a couple times a week to, 4 years later, 40mg of oxy a day.

I've only truly claned up once and lasted for 5 1/2 months, but at that time I was not taking 40mg of oxy a day, but 15 mg of hydro a day, so this is a completely different process.

My last pill was September 27th, almost a month ago. The physical withdrawals were hell but lasted only a week, I was expecting longer after everything I'd read. Once they stopped, I was on cloud 9 for a while - the pills were out of my system, I made it through the withdrawals and just felt wonderful about life. But it feels like this last week, the emotional side effects have gotten severely worse. I find myself thinking about them all the time, missing them terribly, wondering what the harm would be in taking just one more (I know logically how bad it would be, but that bad angel keeps telling me it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I could get just one or two pills).

I just figured joining a community like this would help stop me from ever swallowing another pill. I also would love to hear from someone who's further along in the process than I am. Is it normal for the emotional withdrawals/cravings to be getting seemingly worse? How do I cope with this?

Thanks to anyone who read.
Etta

[Dee74]

Welcome Etta

I have no experience with oxys, but I'm sure others will be along soon.

You may also like to check out our substance abuse forum:

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

congratulations on your progress so far

D

[ettabishop]

Thank you Dee Heading over to that forum right now! So glad to have found a support system.

[Natom]

Hello Etta,

Welcome to SR. Congratulations on getting through your initial withdrawal. Whilst I haven't actually been through a withdrawal like that myself I have heard they are incredibly intense. Obviously using this site as support is a good idea. There is lots of information and support to be found if you look in the right places. Have you ever considered attending a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in your area or perhaps some other type of recovery support group?

Natom.